A Spy Novel

Reading a Second World War Spy Novel,
each time a likeable character dies, a hot
flush of angered annoyance stops me and
I throw the book aside to stumble back into
reality with unfocused eyes - feeling bitter
about such an unjust course of events

What a waste of feeling, spending energy on
fiction: shamanistic  reading - thus feeling too
much in reaction to the images conjured in my
mind - ideas with a life of their own - what an
impediment, to think I spent my youth reading
books instead of living unrestricted and free

Oh well, without Internet access thus unable
to correctly check my translation, I’ll continue
reading as the worst of these reactions is over,
easily evoked emotional turmoil is the bane of
my existence and a huge drawback, even plain
conversation can present all kinds of pitfalls

I wish for a children’s book or a humorous spoof
like changing a cat into a superman to fight with
a phantom then lick milk in smart society; these
happy images shall replace all the dark feelings
engendered by negative incidents marking my
my physical life - I’m always busy rewriting

The Chem In my head, the thoughts and feelings
that guide every step…

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Nearly reached the end of my book on the
Second World War, a spy overwhelmed by
the odds and finally giving in to his feelings
just to be betrayed by the woman he loved

She never gave him the chance to redeem
himself; she was in the wrong, as a spy he
was habitually fearful and only killed when
he had to save his skin for serving his own

Country of origin - but this foolish woman
chose her boorish, nasty husband to him,
she owed the spy so much, yet preferred
to sell him out, no respect for the softer

Sweet side of his psyche, she owed him
her allegiance after all he’d done for her,
yet preferred to judge him, though should
have judged her own countrymen; this is

The reason I don’t like reading the fiction
concocted by authors who don’t want to
redeem fallen characters - it could have
been a new start for the spy but NO

It became a tale of deception, the spy
killed again and suffered her rejection