I Was A Secret Agent [Rev.]

[Diary Notes]

My old cell phone tried to commit suicide by sliding

into the couch & hiding out of sight, I’ll need buy a

new one or get a battery for the oldie; the Crocodile-

Castle-Master says he can buy it from the Pakistani,

I remind him an iPod I bought there sounded terrible,

but I'm willing to try again as I love my old phone -

so safe and familiar - nursing a headache, I wanted

looking at past victories - opened an old translation

of mine to gloat about my prowess, but it's riddled

with so many mistakes, and it's really shocking, so

I’m looking for things to cheer me up - yet even this

Asterix edition* can't stop sensation of crushing skull

Imploding on itself; maybe it's time to get rid of old

documents and try follow my guru’s advice: create

a new past for myself - I could play I was a secret

agent in Government Service with a Machiavellian

detachment towards aggressive manipulators & I

worked slowly to gain access to secret documents

& with that fantasy in place I should drink a pink gin

and tonic and wait for James Bond crashing into me

house to collect the secret papers I have stolen for

the Spies while running around with a wet towel on

my head in defiance of the South African sun every

afternoon delivering secret messages to my spying

Friends speaking French, but singing German songs

when all were inebriated drinking Martini’s - we spies

being careful to conceal home language preferences

and those who could spoke Arabic and IsiZulu: what

fun - all for being spies hiding behind the façade - of

an unobtrusive Government Languages ​​Department

*Asterix Edition: Five Adventures in one Book