Left Without A Single Dream

I'm suffering from severe depression -

I still have to learn my lesson: Nothing

is safe to eat at the lovely farm where

my former colleague and I hang out -

every time I try the safe quiche I cannot

sleep and get into arguments at home

Gone all my hard-won and treasured

wisdom, gone my dream of intelligence,

I cannot close my eyes, my bed too hard,

I can’t lie down & my back feels as if it’s

made of stone - my neck’s made of iron,

this discomfort's acute - it's the last time

I’ll be caught in this trap, even my stories

are gone & my heroine left, every thought

lacklustre in my head - things we’re fixing

and plans for a holiday at the seaside, do

not reach my heart and remembering the

sensation of drifting on a foaming wave

As if carried on bubbling champagne; fails

to lift my spirits until it seems only Bacchus

holds the key to an escape from this misery:

I no longer know which medication to take

for the allergy, everything affects my eyes

and though alcohol destroys brain cells, it

Won’t cause ear infection and make me go

blind as the Allergex does: I HATE quiche

as from today - it always leads me astray,

I’m left without a single dream to take me

away into a fantasy far from this empty

feeling caused by fever and chills and

Chemical depression that only worsens

as the night goes on: next time I’ll have

some French fries to try and survive the

farm restaurant cuisine which seems so 

abhorrent tonight, & now the problem is

getting worse, trying to feel better if only

Temporarily, I have consumed a packet of

chips, coconut biscuits, fruity sweets, pink

gin from my daughter’s gift collection and

salted licorice, the ubiquitous cup of tea -

thus I’m guaranteed to feel a hundred

times worse tomorrow…