Crinkly Bindlewurdles

The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide in a drugstore bag,
my aphrodisiac and anti-depressant, starting each day
with Grunthos the Flatulent’s twelve-book epic
‘Favourite Bath-time Gurgles’ giggling while reading

Azgoth of Kri Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz has me screaming
delight with ‘Oh freddled gruntbuggly’ and Ford Prefect
is wracked by spasms ‘Thy micturations are to me as
plurdled gabble-blotchits on a lurgid bee, Groop
I implore thee’

Ford wrenching his head ‘Hooptiously drangle me with
crinkly bindlewurdles - I will rend thee in the gobberwarts
with my blurglecruncheon’ heart inflating with hooptious
joy I cannot describe adequately

Completed by analysis Arthur likes the ‘metaphysical
imagery & rhythmic devices counterpointing surrealism
of underlying metaphor of the Vogonity of the poet’s
compassionate soul contriving to sublimate this, transcend
that and come to terms with the dichotomies of the other’

– Oh, mischievous mirth, Azgoth and Vogon poetry only
for me – Lewis Carrol filled with glee in afterlife
dimensions – can't return to anything serious while these
gurgles make mincemeat of life’s hurdles, I shall
‘Gobberwarts all with my Blurglecruncheon’ today,
be ‘Plurdled by the Gabbleblotchits of the Freddled
Gruntbuggly’s Micturations,

I want the Groop to drangle me with its crinkly
Bindlewurdles’ – I never want to be rational
or sane again!


ORIGINAL:

Inseparable from The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide carried in
a drugstore bag, my aphrodisiac, anti-depressant, sedative
tranquilliser and pacifier, starting every day with Grunthos
the Flatulent’s twelve-book epic ‘Favourite Bathtime Gurgles’
giggling while reading - I love this Azgoth of Kria

I always pay tribute to my favourite Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
by reading ‘Oh freddled gruntbuggly’ screaming in delight
when Ford Prefect is wracked by spasms - continuing with
‘Thy micturations are to me as plurdled gabbleblotchits on
a lurgid bee, Groop I implore thee’

The Vogon relentlessly continues, Ford wrenching his head
‘And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles or I
will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon’
and while my breast inflates with a hooptious joy I cannot
describe adequately, my joy is completed by analysis

Arthur liked the ‘metaphysical imagery’ and ‘rhythmic devices
which counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor
of the Vogonity of the poet’s compassionate soul contriving to
sublimate this, transcend that and come to terms with the
dichotomies of the other’ – oh, mischievous mirth

Only Azgoth and Vogon poetry for me from now on, I am
sure Lewis Carrol is filled with glee - I cannot return to
anything serious while gurgles of this kind make mince-
meat of all of life’s hurdles, today I shall ‘Gobberwarts
everything with my Blurglecruncheon’ also

I want to be ‘Plurdled by the Gabbleblotchits of the Freddled
Gruntbuggly’s micturations, I want the Groop to drangle me
with its crinkly Bindlewurdles’ - I never want to be
rational or sane again!


The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams
Omnibus Edition Wings Books 1996, quotes taken
from p. 45, 46, 47