Monster in America (Rev.)

Reading sensationalist magazines reconciles me
to inanities in the President’s letters – applying
for everything from second-hand cars, outstanding
salaries of twenty years ago, money usurped

I felt better reading of the monster in America who
killed more than 30 girls – got away after capture
by making appeals and the German girl who escaped
after being held hostage since her 10th birthday

The world is in perspective; what Nanny Weatherwax
says – “if anything is worth doing, it is worth doing badly”,
most people believe the same – obviously my biggest
failing is my inability in teaming up with kidnappers,

mass-murderers, failing to get murdered or abducted,
thus making my life interesting; I am forced into a life
of unmitigated boredom through too much prudence,
useless common sense and the most futile sensibility,

attempts at escape through fairytales, magic and poetry
are not good enough to release me from a quiet existence
– getting killed or kidnapped, THAT would be nice but
I haven’t the ability to bring it about

If I read more sensationalist magazines I might be able
to put myself in harm’s way, it would be exciting, give
some zest to life – it’s boring being clear-thinking, where
are the evil monsters clever enough to kill me?

I suppose I am SO boring even mass-murderers,
kidnappers can’t see the point of wasting their time -
HAH!