Unruly Spirit Does Rebel

Sir Terry Pratchett describes the human mind as a
chaotic mixture of radio stations all broadcasting at
once, the individual has to learn to pin his immediate
awareness to just one station in order

To get something done, I have learnt to push my third
voice, the commentator in my head, into a dark recess,
the easiest way to silence it is by allowing the happy
and noisy self-centred ego

To remain deeply involved in sensory reality, never listening
to the background voice; last night my pink pillow and I slept
in your arms while you were watching TV, then I went to bed
and slept without disturbing dreams

Today when you sternly rebuked me for asking more time to
help my colleague fix a document, that despondent third voice
got the upper hand - you claim I did not ask in the right way, it
is my fault you got angry

I felt aggressive on realising how unjust your refusal to let me
stay a few moments more at work, afterwards you would not
allow me to watch my show - it fuelled my inner fire, I had to
fight the desire to shout

This is the price of any relationship, giving up freedom for the
privileges, since you do so much for me I agreed long ago
to follow your rules; because you are loving and caring, I
undertook to honour your wishes

Only from time to time my unruly spirit does rebel and I am
sorry I revealed illegal feelings, I bravely fought the negative
thoughts that welled up in my mind, silencing the inner voice
by counting my blessings

Determined to apologise for harbouring resentment and losing
sight of your goodness, no-one else would cherish me as you
have always done, I am sorry I caused you distress, I’ll do my
best to comply with your wishes

Hereby I declare my willingness to submit again…