Fairytale Meaning

Messed up a glorious day, shopping was
fun, qualifications certified, one step nearer
to required security clearance and here I
am, oblivious to all, imprisoned by allergy
symptoms due to faulty digestion, hunger
with melodramatic overreactions and dark
depression would be preferable

Feeling insensitive and dead, impervious to
every emotion, malaise and headache are
changing me into a grouch, years of practice
keeps my voice even and prevents me from
seeking solace in pills which offer no long-
term relief, their false promise of health
leads only to false expectations

Staring at the TV screen, reaction destroyed
ability to read, a takeaway with seasoning was
a killer, had no motivation to fight for chemical
balance in the face of general despair at over-
reaction to food, nothing makes enough dif-
ference to inspire me to try harder to over-
come this counterproductive situation

Even when I improve, allergy simply surfaces
again, only helpful imagery is Christian theory
of bearing a cross, wearing a crown of thorns,
without these ideas life seems ridiculous, any
fairytale assigning symbolic meaning to suf-
fering gives me enough power me to climb
the dangerously steep mountain of life

I do not seek elusive truth, only pragmatic
value - conferring strength to tackle my life…