Fairies And Mermaids And One Shepherdess

Now I have French revision to do, it has suddenly
become imperative to take photos of my figurines:  
fairies and mermaids and one shepherdess, when
writing exams at university we always found it was
necessary to wash floors, tidy rooms, clean every-
thing before studying
 
Strange how small things gain in importance when
any prospect of learning arises, I know playing with
my camera is a projection of an unwillingness to do

revision tonight - tomorrow I shall apply myself -

tonight I just want to admire the soft purple flower
I put next to my porcelain fairy
 
A symbol of immutable beauty and inner peace, with
the peace she imparted in my heart, I’m going to bed
resigned to start revising tomorrow, learning oppor-
tunity is precious, maybe I forgot a lot - yet the joy
of accomplishment will make the sacrifice of time
worthwhile – I always worry about something
 
It is as if I’m always anxious and scared and all the
time projecting this on to anything and everything
that happens, although I know nothing is worthy of
such continuous worry, it is impossible to get rid of
the habit- I’ve got to learn to forget youthful ideals
and make peace with my inability to study until
 
I know everything perfectly, just knowing about the
huge range of possibility offered by reality
has to be enough…