My Soul Is Untouched

My body has given up on me even as

I have given up on life, if THIS is all I
can achieve, it is not meaningful to
continue in this physical world
 
In my youth I thought to render service
even as I gathered knowledge – yet –
though reading everything in books and
on the Internet, I still understand
 
Only a few things and my wisdom – such
as it may be – has never been tested, with
regard to service, I have not rendered any
or very little - I smile continuously - so
 
Everyone asks why I seem happy - I reply
because I work in paradise - and it is true,
the only thing is that there is no-one to help,
no big challenge, the mental stimulation of
 
Every translation does not fire my heart,
my soul is untouched, if there is no way in
which I can change my life, only moving on
to become pure consciousness - is left…
 
--------------------------------------------------
 
Started French revision while watching
television, why not, at school we did our
homework to radio and later to television
as soon as we got one
 
Soon the repetitive request to rephrase little
questions to indicate knowledge of gender
and verbs as used in French drove me to
distraction, luckily boredom of evaluation  
 
Of every aspiring dancer made me go on
long past my boredom threshold, tonight
I am surprised to find that I feel empty, it
should have been different, I should be
 
Happy and proud about all I have done –
yet the question remains – what is the
sense of it all – and the reply makes me
feel dumb – realising that it is all
 
A mental game in the end, we make it
up as we go, I need to make up a new
world because repeating things over
and over ad infinitum is driving me
 
To despair….