Today you hate me - or at best dislike me - or is
it just guilt assignment for failures in your life; if
I do anything you remonstrate, shouting at me;
when I express anger at our son wasting your
money, you savagely attack me - when
I open the sun-room door, you nearly have an
apoplexy; I’m forced to conclude you hold me
responsible for bearing you a son who wastes
your money at university, for daring to have an
opinion, much less express it - now I simply
Absorb the negative energy and remember all
good things you do, finding balance between
your dislike & empathy; at this moment I find
release in German music soothing my heart’s
guilt feelings for being here, hoping that
Release would be sweet, that there’d be a
place for me where I can stop feeling guilty -
now wouldn’t that be heaven indeed…
[23 November 2014]
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