A psychologist on the Internet said that fans use
their idols to gain notoriety for themselves, when
I started to go overboard in my fixated, fascinated
state by writing & thinking about my idol only and
Fans complained they did not want to see mirrored
reflections of their idol in my writing, they wanted to
look and see her image for themselves - I realised
they were right, all individuals see a different picture
And the world revolves subjectively around every
individual as centre of their own universe while we
know inter-subjectivity does not reach very far to
connect consciousness; so I quietly listen to the
Beautiful voice of my idol - without inflicting words
in praise of her on others, I can’t meet her as I call
her a goddess; we can’t do that with people we have
met - now I delight in Hallelujah sweetly repeated
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