Scarred Phantom without a loving Christine

Going down memory lane with Peter Pan, dissecting

the past, showing me the nightmares I have missed &

I’m so pleased, ignorance is bliss - not knowing what

was going on, I lived in my own bubble, though it was

too quiet and unnatural for health, I was focused on

dreams and ideals and missed the stupidity & misery

 

That beset those around me: I’m sorry dad was such

a messed-up human being, I ignored him completely

when I was small and that is good because I could

not do anything to help him - he had to learn to help

himself and I believe that is what he did in the end,

when I was able to understand and forgive was the

 

Right time to let him into my life - offer him friendship

and love, though he might not have understood what

he did wrong - how offensive his abusive behaviour - ,

I found he had a heart made of gold & deep sympathy

with everyone suffering & he could see the ugly truth

and pretense behind every lovely façade and I love

 

Him for teaching me to distrust charm & falsehood &

to reject deceptive overtures; he did not express his

insight into evil and corruption wisely, always spoke

and acted without refinement - but pointed out the

rotten core the snobbery which he abhorred, was

designed to hide: though he cursed like a sailor &

 

Tried to drown his sorrows with the most distressing

results - I later discovered a clear stream of delightful

love flowing under the mask life forced on him as a

scarred Phantom without a loving Christine…

[His favourite book was "Pollyanna"]