The Black-Hole Feeling In My Head

Enjoyed two marvelous days at work, Tuesday
and Wednesday, managed to keep the allergy
at bay, after a weekend of illegal eating, venison
with spices and chicken in marinade, slabs of
chocolate, and horror of horrors, a Monday pizza

I enjoyed the unusual good humour that had me
singing and laughing at work, tonight came the let-
down, the headache and growing fatigue, my eyes
growing weak, lost concentration – time to slack
off, I lay on your knees while you watched TV, but

Couldn’t sleep, took medication and went to bed,
remembering my fantasy of earlier today – yet
resignedly accepting that it had lost its effect, my
system went into shut-down, like an overloaded
computer simply informing the disillusioned user

All documents will be closed, then proceeding to lose
all data unsaved – although I used to think my store
of facts would be lost, it felt so real, this terrible black
-hole gravitational power imploding in my head;
seemingly sucking in even light quanta

But maybe because I repeat everything as if at least
five persons are learning separately, I do retain some-
thing – just feeling a desperate need to repeat them
again, five times or more, just to make sure; I
fear the black-hole feeling in my head

Making it seem information goes in to disappear –
never to surface again…