Sugary Things & Doleful Soul

*
I know how to survive anxiety
that knots in my stomach, eat
a chocolate for quick release
of energy to help me breathe

Insulin upsurge balanced with
a sweet drink, concentrate on
work at hand, no metaphysics
ignoring ontology

Start repetitive action, let my brain
relax into the rhythm, focus on the
joy of eating sweet sugary things
delightful immediacy - although

Reality does not present evidence
of good intent, it does not threaten
at all, therefore I assume all is well
even though my heart

Is heavy in my breast…


My Doleful Soul

Marvelous, in the jittery phase of over-insulin
at least physical symptoms are more interesting
than sitting like a statue registering nothing -
feeding myself peanuts with jerky movements
another chocolate or sweet juice and I might
pass out, that is always fun

That one has to go to such lengths to lighten
boring life with exciting events, I really should
look for a more adventurous job, riding the lift
with harassing security guards and singing
songs on the stairwell is no way to live a
glamorous life, no wonder

The naughty James Bond girl refuses to come
to work with me, sitting like a prisoner, immobile,
my head tired of doing all the traveling while my
body is held in the stocks by super-boring docu-
ments, spirit to be enthralled by fantasies, or
it runs away saddening my doleful soul…
*
Eyes out of focus, another exciting sugar
effect, ears ringing, at least all these physical
symptoms make it clear I’m alive and not yet
one of the living dead, without these bodily
upsets informing my mind there is a body
attached to it

I would not have known that I was a human
being, sitting catatonic I might have thought I
am a spirit, the figment of a soul - yet, why
should I live in suspended animation, why
do I experience continual alienation

Why can’t I lead a common sense existence
doing logical things and having rational
conversations, why do I always feel
the world is too small and that I
cannot be at home on earth,
could it mean time was
wrong

For my birth?
*