Accepting Blame, Manipulation

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On p.871 Shantaram says we can deal with
pain by accepting our own part in causing it
he accepted blame for the way his marriage
had failed and the heart-ache

He felt the release of self-doubt, resentment
and fear in total forgiveness, he was free to
be joyous again

I am determined to accept responsibility for
everything in my life, for not loving grandma
for not offering care and gratitude when I was
small

When I was ten, I wrote out the Ten Command-
ments and realized I was going to hell because
I could not love my own family, much less my
enemies

Ever since my life has been a quest to find the
key to love and wisdom, studied books, read
the Bible several times, spiritual texts advising
us to accept our own involvement

In what transpires in our lives, found Sartre claimed
we should judge our actions by thinking what would
happen if everyone did the same, felt disheartened
as I accepted guilt for WWII

Changed my choices and actions, started listening
to my father’s tales, stopped blaming others, learnt
that my parents play roles to evoke certain reactions
the only way to deal with them is to stick to the facts

And to forgive them for acting like children, learning to
act like an adult who will not be exploited through
emotional manipulation – Thank you, Shantaram,
for teaching me to accept my own part
in causing pain
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