Alien, Hostile Face

*
I am not myself today, I dislike
the stranger who took my place,
she distorts my features, makes
my skin look bad, she makes my
hair look ugly, my clothes become
all bad contours and unflattering
lines and my legs look awful

I feed her pills to make her go away
attempting to get back into my body
and make me look nice, but she stays,
she looks at my work and refuses to
start translating the words - will I be
forced into self-flagellation to force
my alter ego to leave

Snakes are writhing in my head, I am
sure my happy self must be in there
somewhere, as soon as pain abates
I want to live my own life, this is the
result of eating pizza and chemical
sauces and enjoying the good life
all weekend long

I hate the discipline my diet entails,
watching others consume colourful
dishes while I have to eat lean meat
and bland vegetables; then I join them
for awhile, but when I lose myself and
find an alien, hostile face staring at me
from an accusing mirror

I know the allergy has won again, I am
put in my place, my life was designed as
Cinderella serving, never staying on after
the ball, always turning into a zombie, I wish
I were a stable entity who could remain one
human being for a long period of time –
this changing face

And concomitant fatigue; the inability
to face my life, drives me nuts…
*