More Gargantuan

*
I learn from my mistakes, or I try to,
I packed both foundation and powder
for skincare as we are leaving for Natal
at the seaside, because I know although
it will not make me look better, it will make
me feel good – and that is all I ever want

I have learnt it is at my peril that I ignore
what Tiaan is saying when he invites me
to watch a movie with him, tonight we saw
a moving rendition of gay rights, making us
aware of the danger of stereotyping, I
loathe prejudice, watching this

I saw how destructive stereotypes and gender
issues, saw how limiting a mother’s refusal to
listen to the wishes of her kids - if I did not
watch this movie, I would have lost these
moments with Tiaan, yet my life is about
him, working at the office to earn

The wherewithal to offer Tiaan and Nici enough
affluence to prevent them being emperors without
clothes, finding financial power to protect them; they
need not assume respectability behind a mask of
pretence - I am not like grandma Alice who could
keep fantasies of grandeur alive

Working herself to death, I am afraid, after seeing
her sacrificed on the ire of her own kids, I have lost
the desire to emulate her, I shall employ fantasy to
pay tribute to her; she did an epic task, more
gargantuan than anything I have
read about…
*