Love Swirling Around

I found you outside - helping Tiaan with his
project for school while I lay in the sun, reading
a book - fantasies swirling about - and I felt the
love all around, your love for Tiaan making you
help him - an echo of my father’s love when we
were at school, he always busy outside

Ploughing, working with wood, while I was helping
grandma, mom self-contained in her own universe
big brothers moving around like gods on earth - and
I smiled, the rose of delight and content unfurled in
my heart; why should I cry for not being a good
bureaucrat when I have you and the kids

Love swirling around as it did when I was small, I
wanted a happy home and that we have done, all
I can offer my colleagues is love, doing my best
and trying hard, the rest is out of my hands and
though intellectual inferiority is the price I have
to pay for domestic bliss, I pay it gladly

I accept pain at work: the allergy led me into the
magic of words that play and sing, brought me
love as the most important factor in life while
exacting a price - making my brain sluggish
and slow - yet I am privileged because I
wanted you and the kids to be happy

The rest does not count, though I failed to live up to
the ideals of my colleagues I have not failed at home
this is my base, I want to lie in your arms as you watch
your favourite sport, knowing my bad work report does
not reflect who I am as it only indicates a malfunctioning
brain - if this pain keeps my loved ones safe

I shall accept the sacrifice with very good grace…