Return to the Cathedral

The Little Alien in my head is safe, I am
withdrawing completely, relinquishing
things, the sharp pain in my heart and
head will be deadened so I can do my
little bit of work, make a list, eat without
falling ill, talk without feeling anything

I feared losing the Alien Being in my head
sitting up there rhyming my life - but as
long as I withdraw from existence and go
underground burying the essence of me
so my life is not extinguished, I can carry
out my duties without losing my being

I have done it before, a deliberate decision
to give up dreaming trying to function better
led me astray, I cannot fit in, come what may
a false sense of security led to my lowering
my guard, I forgot to wear a mask, I am
sinking, leaving a machine in my place

When the process is complete I will be safe
I have learnt not to trust in anything except
solitude and contemplation, I was too happy,
too delighted with my little life, now that it is
gone I return to the cathedral in my mind
and the robot will deal with life without

Hurting and bleeding all the time…