The heat was bad, we did not receive enough rain, so I
promised myself I would love autumn and winter this
year. Yet now that the cold is in the air I am filled with
such a nagging sadness and feeling of longing – I am so
untrue to myself, can’t keep the focus on the advantages
of cool while overpowered by a feeling of loss and lament.
The sadness is in the air, around me, all over, in the weather
now how do I change the sadness to an inner feeling that I can
conquer and reject? How does one describe such an absolutely
irrational, stupid feeling? Why does it exist? I’m a town dweller,
weather should mean little - except for gardening. Why should it
feel so awful and why don’t I have control of this?
Autumn
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