I always think I am ready to face insomniac nights
until one strikes, it transpires that nothing inspires,
no energy to tackle a good book, TV shows seem
juvenile, my sense of humour gone, Ballando Con
Le Stelle is a culture shock for any follower of the
BBC’s Strictly Come Dancing
The Italian show abounds with long, thin insect leg
people, the host cast in a crushing hip-hugging black
corset with life-threatening stilettos resembling a stick-
like ninja knight, she must be young but her heavily
made-up eyes make her seem middle-aged, her
voice flowing in an incessant stream
Aggressive in typical flat-vowel Italian, no fricatives
to make it soothing, it is unnerving; Baroque interior
in red is overwhelming; the men seem perfect to play
Captain Hook in Peter Pan - tall female contestants
stiffly balanced on extra-high heels distorting the
body’s proportions in a salt-pillar stance
A female judge wearing only one super-large earring
looks unbalanced; all over the show is awe-inspiring,
all gestures exaggerated; all short, ugly, overweight
people have obviously been shot – what a strange,
intimidating show!
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