Insatiable Crocodile Appetite

Alice twirled a few times, then demurely
sat down on the toadstool assigned for
her personal use, wondering desperately
what she could drink or eat

To stop the waterfall cascading in her head
guiltily conscious that eating ice-cream for
breakfast, topped up with coffee and a hot-
dog, was probably the cause

Of the volcano erupting in her mind, short-
circuiting her brain; groping for the mental
switch to change the frequency of her mental
radio as the static swishing in her head

Turned her into a crocodile, immobile in the
arctic cold; just then Shere Khan caught the
crocodile with a charming smile - You have
changed into a saurian, my dear

what a delightful way to spend the day, I shall
tear you limb from limb in impressive mammal
style, proving crocodiles have no right to survive
the radiation that killed the dinosaurs -

With this Shere Khan set Alice’s crocodilian mind
alight, her languid jaw opened by its own volition and
she hissed - I’ll have you know the dinosaurs were
killed by maize-induced pellagra one and all

and a shameful sense of fashion, if only they had
learnt to imbibe alcohol topped with chocolate,
they would still be here! – Indeed, my sweet,
Shere Khan trilled, how can you be so sure?

- My crocodilian clan was there at the time, we
saw the errors of our ways and changed from
giants into trunks on legs, and we are better
than mammalians any time!

At this sacrilegious statement Shere Khan
stoppered his ears getting ready to tear up
the Alice crocodile, but the Angel of Mons
descended in a thrice

And smote him mightily saying - I was summoned
by Mighty Oats from Carpe Jugulum to save you
from Jungle Book, what are you doing here? – I
ate and drank magic potions in Wonderland

that turned me into a crocodile, then I fell into a
dark hole and exited in this universe, but I would
rather be in Indra’s heaven to see his holographic
pearls to feed my insatiable crocodile appetite

for all things wild and wonderful…