Haunt My Psyche

*
It is difficult to find a reason for my existence
an empty place in my head where the chem
containing the reason should be

Today I know mother is a fanatic, beyond all
bounds of reason, her fanatic, self-centred
perspective allowed her to reject

Family in pursuit of her fanatic ideal to become
a revered mystic - without a foundation of love
distorting perception of ethics and morality

Our brains are fireworks of confusion as the
evidence of our senses fight against mother’s
illusions; fanatics force their views on others

Destroying their own kids in their path, I have to
watch as she still holds my twin sister enthral as
her slave, she refuses to listen to explanations

Nothing can free her from despair and alienation,
my brothers and sister have lost their compass in
life, living with memories distorted

Confused by fanatic control which rejected and
demeaned true devotion, our minds unhinged,
hearts bleeding

I accept responsibility for falling victim to her control
and fanaticism, still dealing with the wounds in my
heart left by traumatic childhood events

I fled without confronting and solving the cause of
my fright which continues to haunt my psyche...
*