Admitting I Am A Worm

Now what am I supposed to do?
My spiritual book indicates that the
spirit will always revert to its natural
state, we can treat the body for pains
and aches, but it will just create another
problem according to the mental situation

I grew up as a strict puritan Calvinist
indicted of sin for the evil deed of being
born, caught in a never-ending circle of guilt
no good deed means anything, integrity useless
just crying and admitting that I am a worm and
adulating a Saviour on my knees can save me

From eternal damnation, looks like my soul always
creates headaches and pains to prepare for eternal
suffering, as soon as one pain has been annihilated
the next pain starts up, now the abscess has been
fixed, my allergy is growing worse – always some
problem somewhere and it drives me nuts!

What am I supposed to do as the headache makes
me miserable? I do not even want to fight with anyone
and that is terrible, a bit of an argument is so exciting
and here I am with depression because my head is
too heavy for my neck, all my evil thoughts and nasty
remarks are probably creating this karma for me

And I HATE it!