Emotional Delinquency; Spiritual Absence

My translation returned, all my
idiotic mistakes looming too large
to be missed, all my idiocy in-
dicting me of stupidity, a curtain
closing the stage of my mind

Trying to force myself to learn
from my mistakes, the harder I
try, the worse the headache, it
becomes increasingly difficult
to concentrate

No control of my thoughts, looked
at today’s message, All Is Well,
feeling worse, clearly the wise
guru did not know of my turbulent
existence when

He posted these blissful words on
the internet, my eyes cannot see
the perfection he envisages, my
ears only register high-pitched
shrilling which I try to camouflage

By listening to music through my
earphones, took pills, my soul is
perturbed and nothing in my world
can calm it today, I read that in the
afterlife we shall know the soul

As pure awareness, right now it is
a lurking pest, destroying all my
attempts to be a dedicated incum-
bent inhabiting formal bureaucracy,
since the guru claims all is well

There is no danger in my emotional
delinquency and spiritual absence, I
am taking my mind on a trip round the
world to calm it down, inner turmoil
makes it impossible to realize

My dream of improvement, I must be
meant to remain ignorant for the rest
of my limited physical life, doomed to
eternal inability to progress
intellectually…