Leave To Cry

I love speed, charging down the highway in a
fast car, switching on automatic speed control
and sitting back while the car drives itself, the
moment when the car is pulled forwards by a
supernatural force, feels as if the devil himself
propels the car, exhilarating sensation, scary at
first , my foot hovering around the brake all the
time, worried that I would miss my cue to slack
off, the excitement gorgeous

More time to reflect on what is said on the radio,
a church service broadcast that flabbergasts, the
minister harps on how loud Joseph cried in the
Pharaoh’s palace when his father and nasty brothers
appeared, his servants and others overheard his
cries though outside the room, I am intrigued, I
like crying when overwrought - but I do it quietly
camouflaging muffled sobs, washing dishes, in
front of my computer

Which I call Fridolin in tribute to my friend Heike, a
German who shocked me by confessing she hated
my referring to Oompah songs and October Feasts –
I always say my red eyes are caused by a hayfever
attack - how on earth did a MAN, masculine, Joseph
of the Bible, so exciting Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce
him; cry so loud that he was heard all through the palace?
I surmise he was actually crying about all the times hard-
ship followed his dutiful endeavours

First his brothers sold him into slavery when all he did
was posing in his many-coloured coat, recounting glorious
dreams; elevated to serving Potifar in Egypt, the evil wife
had him indicted for indecency as he refused to seduce her;
failure indeed, in prison he was forgotten by those he helped
until Faro had disturbing dreams, Joseph was called upon to
sightseer the truth therein; aha, that must be the reason for his
sobbing uncontrollably, he could not have missed his scheming
brothers all that much, nor his kind, but doodling father

Who worked fourteen years to woo his mother Rachel, after older
Leah was forced upon him - hang on, there is something strange
in the whole equation, maybe his parentage indicates he was weird
or stranger still, maybe the Bible Code dictates the telling
of the tale? I do not care either way, just glad the minister
has such a lot to say about Joseph crying so, giving me leave
to cry at work - or washing dishes…