A Memory Stark And Bleak

A memory as stark and bleak in black and
grey as if it was yesterday, my mother
and I went to the station to meet my
father returning from the office

I felt totally lost in an empty space with
ominous threats everywhere, a promise of
death and decay in the air, nowhere
safe, nowhere to go

My father carried an old tape-recorder; they
fought, she was angry, through all the years
the terrible darkness of that day remained
in my mind, ready to jump out

When an association unlocks the memory -
but that tape-recorder became a miracle in
our lives, we recorded Liewe Heksie stories
to savour again and again

Humorous shows like ‘Stadig Oor Die Klippertjies’
and ‘Bog met Blou Maandag’, with Jan Salie and
his Van Helsdingen wife, my father recorded our
three year old voices complaining

Mummy refuses to let us bathe my baby brother, he
recorded mother playing piano, we recorded our
own radio disc jockey shows, interrupting the
songs with frequent comments

It is so strange that this miracle toy appeared
in such a terrible atmosphere - when I feel
lonely on a dark day, I can still replay that
day’s feeling of hopeless abandon

It must have been a reflection of my mother’s
fatigue and depression, I hope nobody else
ever feels that way…