The Teacher Flamed Out

The most fun provided by a Japanese teaching English

found in a book by Dr Hiejima: "A SHORT Dictionary of

Feelings and Emotions in English and Japanese" which

is ONLY 258 pages long, comments made by a Robert

Sprung who sprang this delightful article on us:

The doctor explains his teaching style saying: He wreaked

his anger on the noisy students - & then he advises these

youths: You should be careful not to TALK a dirty joke; and

he reveals his parenting style by writing: I think he is TOO

TENDER TOWARDS his children [ohmygoodness]

The following is hilarious - the learned doctor never heard

of the misplaced modifier: He told me to go away in wrath,

The girl got down in the dumps TO FIND that nobody was

home, He drank like a fish in desperation; the best one is:

She looks blue unusually today [most days in my case]

Then there's the joy of descriptions out of synch with the

emotions expressed: She was thrown into ecstasies over

her new piano [what a strange person she is] as well as -

He smiled wryly when he took the wrong bus and then he

stumbled OVER a stone and GAVE a bitter smile - [oh no]

Another brilliant example: Though he was weeping over his

lost bicycle, he found consolation when he took up with a

nightwalker [I'm glad for him] clinched by the following: The

girl went haywire because she got bad news [really?] then

there are these gems: The fire put us in a BLUE FUNK

And the clincher regarding Dr Hiejima's own feelings: The

teacher FLAMED OUT on hearing the student's insincere

answer [sincerity being of paramount importance in a class-

room], then this gem: He is in DETESTATION at this store

[he must have driven them to DESPERATION, I suppose]

The doctor writes the following about a mother distraught:

She was FRANTIC with worry when her child failed and

she was FRENZIED with her son's shoplifting [this poor

woman was suffering a LOT] continuing with these little

beauties: When he is surrounded by pretty women, he

Goes soft in the head [who doesn't, I'm female & even

I feel that way] adding: He must be a little crack-brained

[I don't agree, beautiful women are always disconcerting]

& He often simpers AT himself [we all simper at times] -

then Robert Sprung quotes his personal favourite:

Our boss is hail-fellow-well-met with us [this I love] & the

following sentence appeals to me also: We feel aggravated

at his way of teaching English & then a quote even more

revealing: This reference book for the study of English was

published against my grain; finally Robert Sprung springs

One last surprise on us, the last sentence in the book is both

idiomatic and accurate: I had a difficult time keeping a

straight face... [HOORAY, reading his article, so did I]

Thank you Robert Sprung for this delight!