Another deadly sin, gluttony, catching upwith me, drowning in the allergy, cannot
work, write, research, think, the midnight
bell tolling for all my dreams as a glass
wall goes up between me and feelings
I know this experience well, guard against
it by drinking no wine, when I opened the
bottle of Douglas Green last night, hubby
warned me against the consequence but
I would not listen, my brain shut down
No synapses firing any more, registering
pain only, I cannot run, there is no escape
from inner pain I brought upon myself, the
reason why I cannot make progress to
another kind of life, as I live through
Dead periods of time until I can work, think
and communicate again, right after reading
how great love is, I lost all ability to feel, now
I hate all existence, especially awareness of
my painful being, gone everything I prepared
No wisdom, hope or goodness left in this
vacuum, the black hole in my head…
*
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