Lyrical Dedication Poetic Elation

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With my document brown and drab
here at hand - a nonsensical plea -
versus lyrical poetry, guess why my
work is not done, why I feel guilty when
I see everyone working quietly, happily
ensconced in making interminable lists
with a joyous abandon to administrative
excellence that has me green with jealousy

They find epiphany in creating superefficient
bureaucracy, carry out routine jobs with lyrical
dedication and poetic elation that leaves me
perplexed and dumbfounded, they derive so
much satisfaction from being perfect officials
while I flee to poetry to find my light and joy
my fellow translators adore doing research
looking up every word, the correct meaning

For every context and subject field, never
suffering when there is no rhythm or harmony
in the texts they have to read and translate in
such a way that no creative element is added
anywhere, only the intent and boring formula-
tion of the original author should be retained,
it drives me to distraction, yet they love the
joyous discovery of the perfect term

My brain tries to break out of its moorings when
I force it to ignore the sing-song melody and rhythm
lurking in every language, hiding in every sentence
when I force the correct term into its place, maiming
the song and killing the dream, my brain dissolves
until a short-circuit sends it into oblivion, I can only
revive it with spiritual truths and fairytales, if I leave
it in the cold air of logic and rationalism

My mind disintegrates - I live my life in pain, the
allergy is the physical manifestation of the inner
disfigurement I must employ to earn my salary -
I’m looking forward to eternity when non-physical
existence brings release from grammar, syntax
and murderous terminology....
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