Made a grave mistake, tried to live likean ordinary person, found all experience
lack durability, everything is temporary,
unsatisfactory, disillusionment is lived
by all people, I cannot breathe in their
universe, cannot live in a world consti-
tuted by sense experience, cannot
exist in perpetual pain
The only place I can breathe is in dreams,
Lewis Carrol’s Wonderland and James
Bond’s magical universe - their fantastic
experiences let me feel what happiness
is, I find refuge in a dream-world of soul-
mates, depicted in Universal Sufism, but
their ideal of universal peace would
bore mankind to death
Terry Pratchett writes brilliant descriptions
of self-created reality which make me cry
in despair, searching fulfillment through
sensual gratification is a nightmare, the
chronic pain in my head destroys all
beauty and dreams, now I have
found dreamland again, I will
not let go of it
Only dreams and visions can sustain me,
when I try to survive in reality I am rejected
and punished for being original, being unique
in a world made of uniform rules is a heinous
crime, I am guilty and go underground to hide
the accusations and pain from myself, I split
into different people who take turns
to face reality
While the real me lives an enchanted life in the
visions created by mystics and spiritualists,
without this device I would die of
humiliation and shame for the
crime of being me
1 comment:
"Only dreams and visions can sustain me,
when I try to survive in reality I am rejected ..."
Dreams and visions are what sustain reality.
Is it totally impossible for you to find work more suitable to your taste ...
I've probably mentioned this but I did once have a regular job. I was a bank supervisor in a securities processing unit. Ho hum. Ho hum. I was the kind of guy who would have fired you pretty quickly for writing similes and metaphors Ho hum. Ho hum. At night, I tried writing a novel. It was a terrible dual existence.
Finally, I quit and went to Japan to teach English. That was about 15 years ago.
Is my plan working? Hm. Not sure. But at least I don't have to contemplate firing people who write metaphors and similes. Now I'm married and have 2 children. And I speak Japanese. We run a small English school out of the house. And I'm still working on the novel!!
If you need another facebook friend check me out here:
http://www.facebook.com/matt.dioguardi
Best wishes!
Post a Comment