So weird, so typical of me; remaining
consciously depressed in order to do
my work, the moment I grow happy, I
cannot sit still and read and translate
boring documents
Discussing poetry and creative writing
with others will lift my mood and sinking
into a fantasy will make me feel wonderful
but then I shall stop working; I have to do
quite a few boring documents
Meditating and being grounded in the here
and now, focusing on what is around me is
NOT nice, making me feel totally depressed
therefore I keep looking at the here and now
to remain in depression
Lips in a tight, determined line, mind closed
to deeper reality, I stick with my job; sunk in
a headache and feeling of boredom which
only lifts when reading about ogres and
happy evil things
I hate material life, it does not work for me,
in order to live it, I have to remain
deeply depressed…
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