The Merry-Amira-Go-Round…
Looking forward to watching the film Sybil with
Sally Field again, fascinating to see her many
personalities, though the usual bunch of boring
detractors claim it must be a hoax – I think not
because I have the same lovely, if unsettling
experiences: When growing tired my head olls
on my neck and falls forwards and for a few
seconds I experience unconsciousness, and
when I wake up and feeling embarrassed look
left and right to see who has seen my unsocial
behaviour, my eyesight is different, mostly vastly
improved, and whereas I could see through my
glasses before the narcolepsy, my glasses are
useless to me, then as we continue watching a
film, I feel my stomach twitching and when the
shudder is gone my eyesight has changed yet
again and I find I’m sitting in a different posture,
and it is the best game to try to determine who
I could be as opposed to who I want to be and
the whole process is made the more enjoyable
when I have my doll menagerie at hand and can
determine which doll catches my eye and which
aspect of being seems uppermost in my mind,
and when all this happens while I’m free to sing
or croon a melody, I have different abilities and
can either sing better, higher or lower or different
music appeal to me, and I dare not sing in public
since I don’t know who is going to do the singing
and what song she will choose, only one things
is certain to remain the same – it is my lifelong
quest NEVER do charming, straightforward with
gimlet eyes analyzing everything because I have
learned that being charming is a false pose used
by those who want to exploit and defraud us and
of course this is why I love Amira: she’s absolutely
true and never puts up a front, such honesty is the
most addictive thing there is, this gives comfort to
the myriad of people who lament they lose their
mind when they find themselves listening and
conversing with her, we are not mad, just totally
bemused by the delight of unadorned honesty –
a characteristic so unheard of, her critics suspect
it must be all madness – and it does not matter,
we just join Amira and the Mad Hatter at a lovely
tea party which never stops, going round & round
who charm you out of your socks - because they always
want to exploit you, the charming types are using the art
of being so refined and ingratiating to gain your trust and
then take advantage of your good self. I'm so scared of
these false, exploiting so-called friends, that I prefer to be
seen as a churly old bur than as easy prey willing to play
the victim, or worse, I would HATE to be seen as one of
the false charmers myself! I have observed so many of my
family and friends being taken for a ride by charlatans since
they are too trusty and innocent to recognise the criminal
exploitive types, so fearing I am suffering from the same
inability to discern who is honest and who is out to defraud
me, I present as a man-hater and misogynist - better safe
than sorry and the REAL people with steadfast integrity
always find their way to me while the false charmers
fall by the wayside immediately - by the way, this way
you can tell you are a person with integrity in my book.
I was scared at first of not knowing who I was talking to,
but after your kind and steadfast replies, I have developed
trust in you and hope I present a trusty friend too - but if
you feel unsafe in my presence, don't hesitate to state
you case and I'll try to amend the way I relate
to your
very unique personality - the little bit I can see through
your words and poetry.
[Postscript: I've forgotten to mention that as I change,
my clothes grow tighter and tighter until I change into
something cooler and lighter because I grow so
uncomfortably warm, I have to spritz my head &
face to chase the headache away]
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