In One Life-Time

The symbolism is clear: all pink and purple flowers
and cloths grouped together on my right, the warmth
and love evoking a feeling of pleasure - while all the
blue cloths are in front of me and to my left - with a
cool and austere professional effect – & behind me
yellow flowers with life-giving powers because I did
not become an ice-cold professional as seen in my

Confession which should have accompanied my sad
production sheet: received and completed ONLY four
documents - nobody required our services - luckily the
tragedy provides content for my eternal lament on our
physical life being without meaning; the five miniature
dolls on the console accuse me of delinquency given
that my existence is quite superfluous - and I lost

A very good reason for sorrow: my computer screen
was dying, but was removed by two irate colleagues
who firmly pushed me out of the way, unplugged my
dead screen & brought another - changing plugs and
adroitly spiriting away this cross and thus leaving my
poor soul without justified suffering; as all the allergic
symptoms abated & headache disappeared, my soul
could only find one reason for its sadness: the lack

Of challenge and adventure in the freezing routines
of an office job, yet there are warm orange flowers
and bright lime-green cloths behind me showing that
life and hope always shine far beyond this office and
that life is bigger and wider than work - because we
build things then pull them down and we only retain
the whole gamut of feelings we experienced while
occupied. So this became my overarching quest:

How to be happy doing whatever is at hand, which is
an immense distance from the noble-suffering-ideal
of my youthful fantasies based on dark assumptions,
now it’s hard work to remove these festering theories
from my mind - it seems to be an almost impossible
task to carry out in one lifetime…

[Pretoria, Tuesday 31 January 2017]