Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Keep My Teeth (2)

A shocking piece of information, an article claiming
people suffering from arthritis should have all their
teeth with fillings and implants extracted  - the last
remains of teeth cut from the jawbone to prevent
venom of rotting calcium entering the system

I realised it was the Nigella effect – an email message
contrasting the beautiful fifty-year old cook who drinks
wine and eats butter and sugar versus the wrinkled old
lady looking a hundred years who recommends a lean
whole-wheat diet with frequent colonoscopies

We all saw what that did to her, I shall keep my teeth,
the amount of money spent on extractions can be used
to enjoy life instead of reducing living to pain before
finally dying, without teeth and with holes in my jawbone
I should wish to die immediately being an ugly crow


Directly quoted from
http://www.health-science-spirit.com/arthritis.html

“Dead teeth are even more dangerous than mercury amalgam fillings
and having two different kinds of metal in the mouth. Teeth with a
root canal filling, a post-crown and sometimes also teeth with large
fillings or pins are dead.
Dead teeth slowly disintegrate and cause a chronic osteitis with
softening and inflammation of the surrounding jawbone. Toxins
are continuously released into the surrounding tissue and blood
stream. This process may continue even after removal of a dead
tooth if the diseased bone is not curetted or scraped out back to
the healthy jawbone, or if any fragments of root or metal remain
embedded.”
Tuesday 30 July 2013

Strangle The Managers [REVISED]

Sitting at my desk content – perceptive my little
world is safe, my supervisor is laughter, kindness
and joy personified, my colleague efficient and
sweet, the office a joyful place, my fan on a chair
stirring the oxygen-less air

It’s my favourite afternoon place, colleagues
conferring on translations of children’s books
while admitting they cannot stand Alice In
Wonderland, it is too whimsical for their taste,
preferring Murder She Wrote because reading

About sweet revenge we are denied as hardy
government officials taking buildings falling
apart in our stride strengthens us to withstand
temptation to strangle managers not knowing
how to obtain a safe building for us…

Tuesday 30 July 2013

The Sahara Or Siberia [REVISED]

It is my wall against the sun, piles of all files,
handbooks or dictionaries  I can find stacked
along this desk – a tottering tower between the
heat and I, covered with a lime-green cloth
framing my pink flowers – an act

Of rebellion against this building with its
rotten pipes so repair of central air-con is
impossible, sentencing us to hell as the heat
of a warm winters sun increases – making
winter so delightful in a city where

Buildings like Kingsley Centre are sheer
stupidity, floors north-south with one air-con,
north facing a southern sun heats up while a
dark south quietly freezes; we’re wearing cool
summer clothes in the north as shivering

Southerners cover up in layers of coats and
scarves; my query is does being a government
official have to mean suffering in either the
Sahara or Siberia –it is a condition of service
which I do not understand…

Tuesday 30 July 2013

Monday, July 29, 2013

Cloud Of Your Impatience [REVISED]

Your unhappiness, anger as you fret about
frustration obliterates the sun, hides beauty
of every moment – worries following you
change my world into a dark and miserable
place, churning my stomach into a knot

I feel bad always, threatening ideas upsetting
you take joy from our life, you admit they’re
not really grave but you’re under its spell –
holding us in thrall, gloom follows us as you
move under the cloud of your impatience

If we could apply the advice of a spiritual
website, everybody should be independent
from each other, joy should be lodged in
one’s own heart without waiting for those
who allow their moods to turn into gloom

Yet it is not possible while we are such a
tight-knit little family

Monday 29 July 2013

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Ecclesiastes And Death [REVISED]

Ecclesiastes says all is vain. While life per se is wonderful
living with pain isn’t, nor is living with chronic headache;
hiding distress creates an empty life in claiming to feel
fine while allergenic symptoms sap all strength. I finally
admit failure of new diet plans, admit crushing defeat

The regime sentences me to alienations darkest despair,
food intolerance creates pervasive partitioning between
life and I, reinforcing separation, hostile as I fall behind,
can’t complete tasks, total confusion, hearing nothing
and looking at the world with failing eyes

Confessing to growing despair; seeking your help is the
only solution to become healthy again – I’m feeling an
ignorant, functionally disabled lone alien who is world
estranged because of paralysis by throbbing pain –
it isn’t working, don't want to become ‘L’Etrangère’

Nor to experience Sartre, Thomas Mann and Aischinger
again; help me return to food that restored me before,
escape from chronic pain making life so miserable that
I only contemplate Ecclesiastes, vanity and death…

Sunday 28 July 2013

Friday, July 26, 2013

Proxies Play

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The death of this idea will make
us space enough – ‘twas never
clear just why we’d had to play
a patsy’s role as fool – but yet
we’re tools as well as message
boys whose place is ambiance
less grace equating accidents
of birth you’ll surely say


To take our commonsense as
hay defends your view of whom
should rule – a chosen few that
you will grant allegiance to; but
we have learned that straw may
reign while proxies play
© 20 July 2013, I. D. Carswell



Thursday, July 25, 2013

Bigger Economy

 

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It is the way of accepting mistakes – not
in the laying blame or accusation, isn’t in
confrontation or playing facetious games
about who’s a loser; no, the acid’s on an
agreeable means of accommodation – so
here I am finding connections between a
pack of oversize light bulbs and sockets
where they’ll functionally screw in okay

Returning the damn things to the store’s
braying you are a shopper junkie with a
vague buying instinct; bigger isn’t a sign
of more eco-economy but serves to heed
all fine print reading first, and it remains
to be so as a risible learning curve...
© 19 July 2013, I. D. Carswell

Not Like Taking A Break

 

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When you’re spanned in-between grand
endeavour and needing space – maybe
to regenerate flagging energy, taking a
break is sentience of piquant relief

There’s sense of peace, equanimity in a
glass sort of thing while your relocation
progresses – and at the end you’re new
blooded again – yes, still truly keen

But it isn’t instantaneous. It takes time
to bless the blood flow, to catch breath
in other than gasping pants grasping at
an assiduity of volumetric competence

And the panic recedes into fibrillations
afterglow of pulse slowing – there’s an
overview purer than any critique affably
warming your toes could ever be

Then you know why you strive – clean
and simple it’s to be alive; recognise a
fellow artisan you say facetiously, as if
it has universal meaning –

Today I need a break, even if it is from
a spate of non-achievement; there’s no
irony intended, took insightful thinking
to avoid too focused engagement

And avoiding things to my amazement
takes as much energy as engaging full
on, playing along with in-motion deals,
wearing a strained participant’s face

But hey, already two poems today, the
fire’s glowing sweetly with a fuel supply
sufficient to see this Winter’s complete
non-intrusion into evening’s events
© 18 July 2013, I. D. Carswell

Clementine Mary

 

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Clementine Mary arrived today – graciously
granting the new prince, George Alexander
Louis, space before she sets scenes alight;
she’s royalty in her own right, of an elite &
new generation who’ll band together when
leading humanity to a new age. There is a
wealth of good feeling to warm hearts and
an elegance of grace with promises repaid

Hail Clementine Mary, you’re the comfort
to be, the genus of futures yet leading us
where feelings rest free; welcome, may it
be your majesty that reignites torches to
brighten the street – there’ll be many a
fête waiting the sound of your feet
© 25 July 2013, I. D. Carswell

Congratulations Marika and Ed, what a beautiful wee girl!
Clementine Mary was born at 1:30 this morning

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Warm, Safe Haven [REVISED]

You tasted bitterness and shame of a client rejecting
your every attempt to aid this uncouth, boorish man
using expletives when talking to women, such an old
criminal, misleading your company about his income,
trying to get away with swindling by insulting you

As you explain about your rising stress levels, a great
weight lifts from my heart – your fleeing life, going to
bed earlier at night, me wondering whether you’ve
had a paramour, then you explained crimes this man
perpetrates, blackening your name, I understood,
glad it’s not an imbroglio

As you plan buying takeaways, sending our official
driver recently licensed, I smile knowing that our
little world is sacred to you and you would never
endanger it in that way, look at your smiling face
representing a warm, safe haven

24 July 2013

Smiling Security Guards [REVISION]

Early to Bank, call credit card bureau from the
desk, try to fix overdrawn credit card – they
demand my salary, back to Enquiries for a
Bank statement, no, gross income required,
exactly what I don’t have, I capitulate

Such a spendthrift, I realise increasing any
amount owed is crazy, there’s no way it will
ever be repaid – hope to be long dead before
the clarion call for recompense comes – tell
my beloved I’m overdrawn and he isn’t
angry at all

Breathe easy at last, celebrate a Great Escape
from my inner Alcatraz feeling, tomorrow I
can smile again, sing Hallelujah at the top
of my voice for smiling security guards

24 July 2013

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I Send My Thoughts


Godliness is in need of female characteristics    
- godhood is such a limited concept with eyes,
ears, nose and hands; for me a god-concept
should be BIG - being ALL vision, ALL hearing,
ALL knowing, ALL feeling
 
A Consciousness permeating the universe so that
every lifeless thing is aware of being in existence
without the need for five senses nor to appear in
human form; a bright golden energy shining like
a light will suffice - all loving and intelligent

I send my thoughts into this force where they gather
momentum to reach you with all the love in my heart,
thoughts of joy and prosperity; wishing I could make
you feel these good wishes through your five senses,
maybe telepathy will come to my aid…
 
Tuesday 23 July 2013    

Monday, July 22, 2013

Your Mad Carousel [REVISED]


I love you, communication is a difficult thing, you
come from a one-parent home, from your 12th year
you were ruler in charge of the house as your mother
was ill, you learned to govern long before
you learned to love

I write my lack of communication frustrations down to
analyse, get rid of anger, the same constriction that
kept me silent as a child rises when I try to state my
viewpoint and you shoot it down in one
explosive stroke

It does not diminish my love, nothing you do affects
the core of my being, but it makes me angry when
I’m helpless and disempowered as you besiege my
thoughts – yet this is only one aspect of our
multifaceted relationship

Calculating benefit of devotion versus lack of
understanding when you don’t listen as you are
drowning in things going wrong; a broken door,
rattling car driving you mad, learner driver
idiots blocking your way

The children going their way instead of doing what
you say; vent your frustration, I confide my feelings
to paper to discuss them later as the mad carousel
comes to a stop, just know – I love you and
always will…

For Martin
Tuesday 23 July 2013


[ORIGINAL:]

I love you and understand why communication is such
a difficult thing, you come from a one-parent home, from
your 12th year you were the ruler in charge of the house
as your mother was ill, you learned to govern long before
you learned to love

I write down my frustration with lack of communication to
analyse the problem and get rid of the anger building in
my heart as the same constriction that kept me silent
as a child, still rises when I state my viewpoint and you
shoot it down in one explosive stroke

It does not diminish my love - nothing you do affects
the core of my being, it only makes me angry when
you totally besiege my thoughts leaving me feeling
helpless and disempowered - yet this is only one
aspect of our multifaceted relationship

I calculate the benefit of devotion versus the lack of
understanding when you do not listen to me, knowing
you are drowning in a sea of things going wrong, the
broken door, the rattling car driving you mad, traffic
with idiot learner drivers blocking your way

The children going their way instead of doing what
you say, you have to vent your frustration sometime,
I shall confide my feelings to paper and discuss them
later when your mad carousel comes to a stop, just
know - I love you and always will…

For Martin

Tuesday 23 July 2013

Golden Light [REVISION]


Holy One, all I can say after our last altercation is
Salaam, Thy Will Be Done; you insist Bad Things
Will Happen. I say don’t have prospects. You reply
insisting benefit in negative expectation – look how
you escape from near miss incidents –

You’re a too-careful driver hesitating, overtaken by
cocky  drivers while I, the cheeky one, puts fear of
death into road-hogs, waving and mouthing sorry,
continuing at the speed of light, golden light of love
and protection whining on us –

Including you, great effort to keep the light out,
fearing danger everywhere; I delight in near-
misses and incidents; sudden overtaking -
you order ‘Keep quiet’ as  you extrapolate on
your bitter fate; haunted by the Lord Himself

Who can blame Him having to listen to your
lamentations. He is probably just as fed up
as I am – I wish you luck - while I choose
to stay in the Golden Light

Monday 22 July 2013


[ORIGINAL:]

Salaam, oh Holy One, Thy Will Be Done is all I can say
after our last altercation, you insist that Bad Things will
happen, I said you should not have any expectation and
you told me you absolutely Insist on having such nega-
tive expectation, incident after incident of near misses
takes place, you gloomily – quite happy in your all-en-
veloping gloom – remark that bad things will befall you

You are one of those super-careful drivers hesitating
so that every self-assured driver overtakes you all the
time, I am one of the self-assured drivers who put the
fear of death into the other road-hogs, I simply wave
and mouth sorry-sorry, continuing on my happy way
to get home as fast as possible, a golden light of
love and protection shines over everyone I love –

That includes you, you have to expend an alarming
amount of negative energy to keep the light from
reaching you, you only see the negative events while
I delight in the near-misses as I create incident after
incident, sudden overtaking is part of the spice of life,
you ordering  me to keep quiet when you are on a
roll about your bitter fate as being haunted

By the Good Lord Himself- and who can blame Him,
having to listen to your lamentations He is probably
just as fed up as I am - I wish you luck, and insist
on staying in the Golden Light

Monday 22 July 2013

From ALIF to HAA

 

Found a perfect rendition of the Arabic alphabet
on the Internet, trying to remember the letter KHa
is pronounced with a guttural G and the first vowel
as “aah” while all the previous letters, from ALIF
through BAA TAA THAA, JIIM to HAA, start
with an A (pronounced like ‘bAd’) -armed with
new knowledge I try to sing along:

A[bAd] OO EE, BA BOO BEE, TA TOO TEE,
THA THOO THEE, HA HOO HEE; KHa[Gaah]
KHOO KHEE - to a monotonous, repetitive beat
without melody - it feels as if the singer is trying
to hammer the alphabet into the listener’s head by
cutting tunnels in the grey matter in my cranium,
it reminds me of my frivolous remark

When I told the ACALAN congregation we should
make Arabic the common language in Africa – then
we shall all be equally disadvantaged – seeing in my
mind’s eye how we start singing the alphabet in unison
AHA, a new scene in my Government Service Opera,
sonorous voices, baritones and mezzo-sopranos, all
walking through the corridors while singing

A OO EE, BA BOO BEE, TA TOO TEE, THA THOO
THEE, till falling down, exhausted by the effort while
an exasperated Arabic teacher runs up and down trying
to improve everybody’s diction at the same time...

ACALAN: Académie Africaine des Langues
(French: African Academy of Languages)
 
 



 
A OO EE, BA BOO BEE, TA TOO TEE, [S]THA [S]THOO
[S]THEE, JA JOO JEE, HA HOO HEE
[G]KHa [G]KOO [G]KEE Da DOO DEE,
THa THOO THEE, Ra ROO REE,
ZA ZOO ZEE, SA SOO SEE, SCHA SCHOO SCHEE,
Sa SOO SEE, Da DOO DEE, Ta TOO TEE,
THa THOO THEE
A OO EE, FA FOO FEE…………….Qa QOO QEE,
KA KOO KEE, LA LOO LEE, MA MOO MEE,
NA NOO NEE, HA HOO HEE………….
WOW WOO WEE…………YA YOO YEE
 

 

Showing What Is True [REVISED]

Is it difficult for men to treat their life partners
with kindness and respect – why hide love behind
façades of frustration and anger, and why must I
swallow my own irritation such that I cannot
communicate

I know your love’s intact, you strive hard ensuring
superb futures for the kids; but angry retorts and
brusque remarks erode old-fashioned decorum;
do men believe once they have a wife they need
never act respectfully again

As for romance, though only a fantasy it makes
it easier to face the grind of life; so why do you
need to try and break down the last vestiges of
such lovely concepts – simply because she who
obeys was inept and unwise to marry you?

Sharing emotion disgusts you such I have to
play a role; if I demur you explode, I aver most
humbly to your direction, become expert in a
game played by your rules, no room left for
natural devotion as I concentrate

On following His Highness’ rules made for his
own freedom, robbing me of my mine and then
asking why I’m so uptight – you’ll never guess,
will you? I know you love me, but a life without
courtesy and deference leaves no room

For showing what is true…

Sunday 21 July 2013

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Friendship Would Be Nice [REVISED]

What wonderful friendship would be a nice
stalemate if you hated me and I hated you;
the way you treat me as your punching bag
yet help me with all the usual domestic duties
so its fine, though a right to vent frustration,
treat me like a criminal remains, and I will be
one while you’re martyr to your own
‘wonderful’ personality

If that’s what life means, your fighting, biting,
being bitter when the things bothering you
are a door you couldn’t fit, your daughter’s
unemployment, your son’s chaotic love affair
& being absent in mind, making mistakes
which, as we all know, is inadmissible in your
universe – oh, well, thank you for the clothes

You bought me in munificence, your charm
shining through in spite of anger about the
Subar, garden irrigation, bathroom door –
and the bathtub – 6th wonderful thing to
never be, irrational anger at aggravation
makes confession of my overstepping
financial limits – I need more than care

Sometimes, friendship would be nice also….

Sunday 21 July 2013

[ORIGINAL:]
Stalemate, you hate me and I hate you too, the
way you treated me as your punching bag; but
it is fine because you help me with all the usual
domestic duties, yet you reserve the right to vent 
your frustration by treating me like a criminal, so
it will be, I’ll be your criminal while you will be a
martyr to your own wonderful personality

If this is what life means to you, fighting, biting
and being bitter when the only things bothering
you are a door you couldn’t fit, your daughter’s
unemployment and your son’s chaotic love affair
with him being absent in mind, making mistakes
- that, as we all know, is inadmissible in your
universe – oh, well, thank you for the clothes

You bought me in your munificence, your charm
shining through in spite of your anger about the
Subaru, the garden irrigation, the bathroom door
- and the bathtub – the sixth wonderful thing can
never be, your irrational anger at everything that
aggravates makes confession of my overstepping
financial constraints impossible -

Sometimes I need more than care - friendship
would be nice also…

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Lovely ThingS [REVISION]

My judgement was premature –
I comprehend when you apologise 
explaining you were looking forward
to a great weekend – my seeming like
death spoiled your expectations

We made a truce, takeaway food, a
doting search,1st lovely thing, viewed
a glamorous dance program,2nd lovely
thing, then two new episodes of the
Nodame Cantabile series,3rd lovely

thing; today I found some episodes of
Dragon’s Den on BBC,4th lovely thing –
the only dread is to confess I spent all
my pocket money, what with visiting
my sister as well as Tiaan’s birthday –

To beg your forgiveness for ignoring the
budget – a clean conscience would be
the 5th and best lovely thing!

[ORIGINAL:]

My judgement was premature - I realised as soon
as you apologised, explaining you were looking
forward to a great weekend and my looking like
death spoiled your expectations

We made a truce, went in search of takeaway food,
the first lovely thing, I watched a glamorous dance
programme, the second lovely thing, then two new
episodes in the Nodame Cantabile series

The third lovely thing, today I discovered several
episodes of Dragon’s Den on BBC, the fifth lovely
thing - the only thing left is to confess I spent all my
pocket money, what with visiting my sister

As well as Tiaan’s birthday – to beg your forgiveness
for ignoring the budget – a clean conscience would be
the sixth and best lovely thing!

Saturday 20 July 2013

Friday, July 19, 2013

What Lovely Things? [REVISED]

Honesty, the most dangerous thing, you are my
fair-weather friend – when I openly confess how
bad I feel you get angry, claiming I’m double-
crossing you as together we would have done
many wonderful things - what lovely things?

Friday afternoon - you watch rugby, I will read
my book; where are the lovely things when we
follow the same routines every day; yesterday
you insisted I take a piece of cake, now you
wash your hands - like Pontius Pilate -


In innocence, I brought the allergy on myself,
you claim, purposely to spoil your life - today
this is a rare occasion when I felt so bad I could
not hide it from anyone, tired and confused, I
drove like a fiend


It was so difficult to find my way, only able
to concentrate with eyes drawn into slits and
despite that you are not even touched, not a
bit, no, you argue I’m doing you in, usurping
your good time – yet all we would do today


Is read the newspaper, watch the Big Bang
Theory together…



[ORIGINAL:]

Honesty is the most dangerous thing, you are my fair-weather friend
when I openly confessed how bad I feel, you got angry saying that
I’m double-crossing you as we would have done so many wonderful
things together – what lovely things?

On a Friday afternoon we watch TV, I read my book, you watch the
rugby matches – where is the doing of lovely things? – We simply
follow the same routine every day, YOU insisted I take a piece of
cake yesterday, now you facetiously

Wash your hands in innocence, I brought this on myself, you say,
deliberately to spoil your way of life; but I couldn’t do that in a

million years, today is a rare occasion when I feel so
bad I could not hide it from anyone

I drove like a fiend, tired and confused, it was so difficult to find

my way but easy to concentrate with my eyes drawn into
slits and you are not touched, not a bit, no, you argue I’m
doing you in, usurping your good time –

When all we would do today is read the newspaper and

watch the Big Bang Theory together…

19 July 2013

Thursday, July 18, 2013

A Little Unhappy (REVISED)

Now understanding dawns, not behind
a glass wall but enclosed in a capsule;
even talking with a colleague a glass
encasement stays, my head aches,
possibly a psychological problem:

We learn acceptance of things we
cannot change - this must be like
that, if only I knew exactly, when
depression occurs in the lovely
surrounds of my office

It’s easier dealt with, anywhere
else I would feel despondent
and lost - but here I just feel
a little unhappy

17 July 2013

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Song On The Overself (REVISED)

I now sing the Overself song, our nearest help is
like a Big Brain and we are the extensions thereof;
it can only use our bodily senses to experience and
interact with the physical world

The Overself desires to know everything, what
wealth, poverty, privilege and adversity, to
take part in intrigues; our whole existence is
stored within our subconscious

The subconscious knows where to retrieve the
data we need and enables communication with
the Overself called spirit guides, direct contact
by mystical meditation is seldom managed

Lets add Jung’s collective unconscious to these
mystical concepts, then there is no need to ever
feel lonely again as there are an infinite number
of dimensions with Overselves to watch over us

Looking back from various temporal dimensions,
ready to share their knowledge  upon request, oh,
I love the theory, having a subconscious library
where all information is accessible

No need to live through tragedy if we consult the
subconscious to get help from our Oversouls, or
more realistically, consider the manifold stories
relayed by books and movies

I’m sure my Oversoul is happily ensconced in a
movie theatre enjoying the tragedies enacted by
others-  and thus I need not live through these
harrowing experiences!


Based on
http://www.lobsangrampa.org/overself.html

17 July 2013

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Without A Song

All day I have been looking for the happy place in my
mind, reading all about Israel and Palestine, Muslims
getting rough with Christians, building roads in Africa,
but nothing enabled me to reach the happy place

Watched a comedy tonight but still there is an empty
space in my heart, my son turned eighteen yesterday
fifteen July, today he got his driver’s license, growing
in independence, growing away to start his own life

And I cannot find the happy place in my heart, the sad
cloud surrounding me, black - cold and empty, does
not lift, playing at being happy is not working as the
silence within me grows, without a song on my lips

I cannot create happiness and nobody can impart it,
I long for my baby boy…

16 July 2013

Monday, July 15, 2013

Always Give All My Love

Came home in a flurry of Arabic, trying to remember
alif is for arnab – rabbit, tuffaah is apple and jamal is
camel and l is leymun – lemon, as soon as the car
stopped I hopped out trying to find the melody at the
back of my mind - then it came, the song today was

“All my love, ta-da-ah-ah-ah-“ I’ve forgotten the words
but the tune is enough, my daughter chased me out of
her room as “the most annoying person” – in this I could
see her love, found part of the kitchen turned into a pearl
by the golden shine of the disappearing sun

As my beloved stayed in the kitchen I stopped singing,
took out my laptop to express my joy in lines that will
not offend anyone whose presence makes me joyous
but who cannot stand the noise of my delight, every-
thing is just so perfect – my beloved stumping around

In a huff, his son’s marks at school leave too much to be
desired, my daughter is not looking for a job as she ought,
the bathroom is caving in and the taxman took all our fix-
it-money – I love this kind of grumble, it means nothing
else is serious enough to call forth his wrath

Looking at my Arabic alphabet – a ghazaal is a gazelle,
shams is the sun – perfect words for these wonderful
objects, though I know so little, there is so much to
make me sing at the top of my lungs – “All my love,
I will always give all my love…”

Monday 15 July 2013

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Trying To Be True To My Word

The most important thing in life is integrity, remaining
faithful and true to our convictions, choices and decisions
regarding the meaning of life, every religion and moral
system have their adherents - but few are true to the

ethics and morality preached

Integrity makes us steadfast and honest: no need to tell any-
one to what religion we belong or whether we are atheists,
let us just live life, let others listen to our words and observe
our behaviour: the only thing people remember in the end is
how we made them feel


When we keep our promises and never steal, we make people
feel happy and secure, when we show love by helping others
realise their dreams and light up with true delight on seeing
prosperity increase in life, we are happy because we enable
others to be joyful also


Thank you to everyone who made me feel good, responding
with a smile when I made a joke, keeping appointments, re-
plying to my emails, listening to my songs; who preached
and performed in order to teach and improve, thank you to
all who allowed me


To help them improve also, by trying to teach I learned so
much, trying to be true to my word I realised how serious
my shortcomings and how I can work on them…


14 July 2013

More Things Are Going Right

Focus, focus, focus, sharpen ability to focus, extract myself
from an overwhelming sense of confusion, directly confront
problems as challenges to be overcome by using logic and
common sense, complete the projects waiting on my desk


Knowing magic is ready to assist our own attempts at con-
fronting the routines in the life of those seeking wisdom,
lift off looking down from above to realise how small and
unimportant the little things that cause pain in the heart


Cherishing the thought that our thoughts and words create
our reality, stories are the most important thing in life, we
think up the plot and fulfil our own prophecies, no dream
is too improbable; let me create a story for tomorrow


Decide how this official will turn her eyes inside to tune her
thoughts to the positive wavelength which broadcasts ideas
for creating a cheerful atmosphere, no matter how much is
wrong in the world since many more things are going right


Sunday Night 14 July 2013

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Makes Me Feel So Strange

Got to be depressed in order to do my best,
on my way down, stuck between nowhere
and nothing, not hitting rock bottom and the
documents make me shudder; cannot gather
my wits, press them into the boring aperture
offered by translating the words of another,
don’t want to go to bed because time will pass
so much faster and I’m scared of Monday


It is imperative to finish work projects but every
time I look at them I feel like running away, how
to overcome this psychological block, sitting up
tonight waiting to become depressed enough to
tackle reams of meaningless words, the contrast
between my sedentary life and the exciting, chal-
lenging life of my sis makes me feel so strange -
why is it so difficult to be myself?


Saturday 13 July 2013

Everybody Would Be Right (REVISED)

I give up on communication, information not my vocation
everyone lives in their own universe; talking about it does
not bring understanding so communication usually fails, it
is only afterwards, reading their words, studying their lives,
analysing their attitudes that we make sense of anything –

And then our insights are coloured by our own perspectives,
the perceptions our own views and opinions. Once again it
is only a relative opinion and it may changes at any time –
influenced by our experience, our reading and thinking

Information carried in our minds is determined by what
we’ve seen and heard recently so it is quite unique; no
wonder teachers insist that pupils reply to questions in
the teacher’s own words – thus excluding each pupil’s
uniqueness of insight as that would lead to confusion –

Since everyone would be uniquely right!

Saturday 13 July 2013

The Arabic song (REVISED)


We’ve got Wifi you said; to get away from your ubiquitous
rugby I watch Bedknobs And Broomsticks instead, but now
it is ME causing OUR Internet connection to be slow. You
watch your amazing sport, men fighting each other, and
I listen to melodic alphabet songs in Arabic


But WE have unlimited Internet connection with a CLAUSE;
if we use up a certain amount it reverts to slow speed so
we are caused to commit suicide – I go out, marching, you
made an empty promise – “Oh, we shall have UNLIMITED
Internet connection”, only afterwards the snag is revealed


Thank you very much, this means it is NOT unlimited, thank
you so very, very much; for me there’ll be no more listening
to Arabic song…


Saturday 13 July 2013

Love I Was Too Blind To See (REVISED)


As part of her welfare job my sis searched for homeless old
people – found an abandoned old lady who’s been working
at the post office, sorting letters for thirty years and sis
organised a welfare grant for her, bought the lady clothes
from her own pocket and rode her scooter all the way to

the State Hospital to visit the lady

While I was concerned with my sis’ tone of voice, harsh
and exasperated – not realising she was tired and over-
worked; without a car she had to ride everywhere on that
slow scooter, caring for the aged – and I was concerned
about sis’ lack of respect for my person, unaware that her
hard life made her impervious to convention


I was wrong yet again, repeating the mistake of my youth,
confusing refinement with integrity and love, looking at
appearances instead of morality and ethics – now my sis is
a saint in my eyes – I confess to being guilty of judging her
with superficial criteria, never shall I repeat this mistake
again, from now on I shall write her value


On the tables of my heart and remember her goodness and
the love she has shown me - the love I was too blind to see


Saturday 13 July 2013


[The secret of the Wings - I chose this as the picture for my
blogspot because Tinker Bell discovered her twin sister -
Periwinkle - and they could rejuvenate each other, cure each
other's wounds - their wings - and this is how I feel about my
twin sis right now, she went to such trouble to keep me in her
life while I did not realise the love she had for me - so I must
be Periwinkle, frozen in winter for ever...]

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Everything Is Changed

The past was experienced differently by everyone,
talking about it led to the discovery we all went back
and changed our memories of our various pasts also
so communication about shared events becomes
impossible, everything is different once again

Expressing my opinion led straight to a controversial
reference point in the splitting of our universes, maybe
following the same rules in adapting memories to suit
present ease would make it easier to enjoy a family
reunion, but I do not want to let go of my own

Version as it contains my observation, reflection and
all the lessons which make it possible to change my
behaviour to obtain different results, the best policy
is to accept that everyone has a right to their unique
opinion, fights only ensue when we pursue

Our own truth in conflict with that of another – and
give up on communication, a much overrated
activity, at any rate…

11 July 2013

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

An Anecdote (REVISED)

The Duchess bit off my head when I told her I worried about her,
and conversation died a terrible death; my guru said – trust that
your loved ones are safe, I wonder if he meant even if you see
them carrying explosives while playing with fire? But meddling
is not allowed. She’s always made to be the evil one The Duchess
remarked bitterly, enjoying her self-pity, while I had the privilege
of biting my tongue

Looking at ashes of great expectation wondering where it went
wrong I am skipping meals and nibbling on chocolates, drinking
too much coffee, being brutally honest trying to make mother
understand she is a great pianist but painting is not her thing;
vehement opposition to realism taught me some people need
to dream – I have no right to meddle with their illusions even if
they make fools of themselves

Right now I need uncover and face the unnamed terror so as
to overcome its power to keep me in mental manacles, by this
time I know our inner gyroscope always turns things upright
again as soon as the sun comes out – and darkness becomes
an anecdote…

10 July 2013

Thursday, July 4, 2013

A Push-Pull Dance

The sun pulls planets towards it then pushes
them away again, a constant push-pull dance
outward and inward which holds all the planets
in their positions – this is the Force of Gravity,
the electric attraction and repulsion

Used by John Ernst Worrel Keely to produce his
own electromagnetic gravity effects --- theories
explaining everything are freely available on
the Internet, forever enlarging the scope of
my imagination in a joyous romance

Seeking, finding, then playing with each theory,
hoping fellow seekers enjoying the fun of
discovery, share the joy with me!

4 July 2013

http://divinecosmos.com

http://www.keelynet.com/davidson/sound1.htm

Found an interesting new theory on the
force of gravity: the sun’s surface rise
and fall a few metres in 5-minute cycles;
and this creates waves throughout the
solar system

The waves bounce off the solar system’s
gravitational boundary then reflect back to
the sun; these waves collide with each other
to form the interference patterns which create
the invisible geometric
force fields

Margaret Alice

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

An Invisible Companion Star



The crux of the matter is that we are orbiting
a Brown Dwarf, an invisible companion star
to the visible sun; a famous 25,920 year cycle
is the period taken by the solar system to com-
plete one cycle around this Black Sun as it is
traditionally called in Masonic circles

Key phenomena are not affected by the so-
called earth-axis-wobble: meteor showers
which repeat on the same day and year for
centuries without drifting - - as they would
have if precession were the cause of a one-
degree star shift every 72 years; proving

Quite another force is responsible; most stars
in the Milky Way galaxy have companions,
two sources of geometric forces governing
our Solar System; the surface of our bright
Sun rises and falls by a few metres in five-
minute-cycles - creating geometric forces

And the Sun’s invisible Brown-Dwarf com-
panion creates more geometric forces in
25,920 year long cycles - which keep the
solar system safe from planetary collision
as it sails on with its fleet of heavenly
bodies, its sweet cohorts in the vast

Eons of space...
 

http://divinecosmos.com

INTERNAL VIBRATIONS IN THE SUN CREATE ORBITAL SHELLS

The Sun has a variety of vibrations occurring inside of itself, as well as
on the surface. This is called "Solar Seismology."
The surface is heaving up and down in by a few metres in
regular five minute regular cycles.

HOW DOES THIS FORM PLANETARY ORBITS

These "vibrations" within the Sun create ripples that move througout
the fluidlike energy in our solar system.The waves bounce off of our
solar system's outer gravitational boundary and reflect back towards
the Sun again. Along the way, these 'ripples' collide with each other
and form INTERFERENCE PATTERNS which create the INVISIBLE
GEOMETRIC FORCE FIELDS that hold the planets in their positions.
Gravity is pulling planets towards the Sun and pushing them away as
well in a constant push-pull dance, outward and inward.
[Lyall Watson – Supernature – dance of life]
As the planets orbit the Sun, the huge, invisible geometric shapes
of the force fields travel along with them.

THE "GREAT YEAR" OF 25,920 EARTH ORBITS
A 25,920-year cycle: align a particular star on a particular
day such as the Winter Solstice of 21 December, after 72 years,
it will be one degree out of alignment. If it takes 72 years
for the stars to drift by one degree and you multiply this
number of years by 360 degrees, you get 25,920 years.
The Ancients called this the "Great Year" which they divided
into 12 sub-cycles of 2,160 years each which is called an
"Age of the Zodiac”.[Hamlet's Mill by de Santillana + von Dechend.]

This explains why key phenomena within our solar system are not
affected by the 25,920-year cycle. If the Earth's axis was wobbling
on its own, things like meteor showers which repeat on the same
day, every year, for centuries, should have started to drift , but
they don't. Every year for as long as humans have been able to
write, the meteors come in, on schedule -- on the same day.

MOST STARS IN OUR GALAXY ARE BINARY
Cruttenden also presents NASA evidence that fully 80 percent
of the stars in our galaxy are binary stars – one star  orbiting
another star and both are visible in telescopes. The solar
system orbits a companion star and the orbit lasts 25,920
years. Our Sun is the centre of a star system with more
than one star.

The Mayan Calendar and the Ages of the Zodiac are driven by
GEOMETRIC ENERGY FIELDS from our Sun's own companion star
creating ONE BIG DODECAHEDRON, taking 25,920 years for us
to run through.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Dancing A Tango On Their Desks (Revised)


It was a book* about a little girl who escaped from
poverty by imagining she was a princess in disguise
that reminded me of my own games; starting work
as language editor of exam papers, I was Le Petit
Prince, come down to earth to meet the officials

Employed on Planet-Government-Service, led by an
affable language guru genie telling myriads of tales; 
tea breaks resembled the Mad Hatter’s tea party &
I morphed into Alice in  Wonderland surprised by her
strange colleagues, fleeing to the Library to lose

Herself in books, wondering how officials deal with
boring routines, writing my Government Service
Opera – officials dancing a tango on their desks
before drinking cups of tea, reading newspapers
with synchronised zeal…

* A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett

Tuesday 2 July 2013

Alice Has A Right (Revised)


My peppery tongued Duchess invited Alice to accompany
her and the Queen of Hearts to beautiful places, camping
out in nature, having fun at her expense, then my Duchess
complains all the people are taking advantage of her, like

Offering someone a ride and having to drive all over town,
having to get up at dawn to cut up the meat for her shop,
overextending herself in trying to meet the requests of
everyone who cashes in on her goodness, clearly making

Me realise Alice cannot make use of the invitation for a
vacation, my Duchess needs rest, not the Queen of Hearts
taking up her time creating new financial problems –
so Alice declined, feeling sad she cannot communicate

With my Duchess, nor get through to the Queen of Hearts
to put the situation in a clear perspective, explaining that
Alice has a right to differ from them…

Tuesday 20 July 2013

Monday, July 1, 2013

My Wonderland Rules (Revised)













Revealing little about her but more about my own
personality, my opinion of my sister contains dislike
of conflict and inconsistent behaviour; I easily feel
bullied and insecure, receive conflicting messages

Prefer a calm, self-assured leader to unpredictable
emotional persons, love routines while disruptions
serving no visible purpose cause great discomfort,
can’t abide a lack of sweet, gentle consideration

Our opinions reveal who we are and how we react
to the world and the people around us, but reveal
very little about the world as it is; some behaviour
I cannot accommodate stoically, though I would

Love to go through the world dealing with all
in the same way, keeping my distance without
disruption when life presents deep drama
and those around me join enthusiastically

Yet for me it’s a perfect background, enabling
my escape from this world into another reality
where I can be Le Petit Prince or Alice in Wonder-
land, not facing a sister who does not play

By my Wonderland rules…

Monday 1 July 2013

Cannot Put The Picture Together [REVISED]

When known in advance each remark will be
met with an icy stare, all requests regarded
suspiciously and interactions fraught with a
danger of incomprehension – how does one
prepare to face a well-meaning bully

How does one prepare to be silent, speaking
only, in the circumstances, when essential; it
doesn’t matter how I try to prepare, it wont
lift my mood – my favourite program wasn’t
on yesterday to satisfy my need for escape

An episode of Men Behaving Badly worsened
my depression this morning, I feel like running
away to a place of great expectations; it is all
that is left, my illusions of getting along with
a bully have been shattered

I cannot put the picture together again…

1 July 2013

Dying Eventually

Listening to my favourite Internet guru, quite clearly this works for many people as they repeat the jargon flawlessly and I wish I could ge...