Soon My Head Will Explode

Whenever the universe gives me things I want,

I’m in trouble, I always want the wrong things:

today I wanted a pepper steak pie and got hold

of it and now I feel catatonic, can’t hold up my

 

Head, drowsy and sleepy, I was making my way

through Encyclopedia of Stars and Atoms, could

not concentrate - looking for information about

the sun since the sun sends solar wind particles

 

Into space - like a sprinkler turning on its base -

positive and negative charge in every quadrant

determines solar wind effect on earth life forms -

a fascinating explanation for differences between

 

Personalities, but now a headache makes further

investigation impossible, the pressure is building

soon my head will explode, while I’m suffocating,

goodbye cruel  world, I wasn't a worthy subject: 

 

I always ate the wrong stuff destroying my mind 

Winner Of The Mop Contest

I’ve never Googled this: my fear of washing floors, the surface

wet and a dirty mop and sponge, I can’t tread anywhere, can’t

get out and where to go with the dirty washing water - - having

washed myself into a corner I can’t take the bucket out & clean

the new mop-sponge contraption my beloved bought, watching

it jealously - and tonight I discovered the sponge must stay wet

 

At all times, never to dry out, and yet he leaves the poor sponge

mop outside to dry: this is a travesty - a misdemeanour against

all spongedom in housekeeping lore, I have to  teach him not to

maltreat the precious little mop-sponge that cleaned the kitchen

floor tonight, but I don’t understand mopdom; the floor’s still wet

after my attempt to wipe up excess water with the little mop so

 

I use a cloth; I shall clean the little mop then leave it damp in the

container outside and explain to him the floor was so dirty after

my washing up, I just had to clean a little bit with his trusty little

mop and thus discovered it must be kept damp at all times and 

I hope the little mop and I can become good friends...

........................................................................

Winner Of The Mop Contest

I continued my victory over my phobia of washing floors,

tackled the patio this morning using a normal mop, it’s a

huge success, the little sponge-mop’s not efficient though

my beloved thinks it is, I like the little one as a friend - but

 

The real job has to be done with the big mop whose strings

can freely swing when I lift it from the floor - - the little mop

left many squeeze marks so the kitchen doesn’t look good,

this morning my beloved’s cleaning the kitchen again so as

 

To remove the sponge marks he sees - yet when he called

me the sponge left marks again, now he’s going for a third

sponge mop round and I wish him luck - - luckily my patio

looks great; now the big string mop which can also serve

 

As a wig for a scarecrow, is the winner of the mop contest! 

..........................................................................................

Endless Cleaning

Having a routine is one of the most comforting things - 

clean floors requires a routine of washing every day, 

soon I will be living as my housekeeper did, wielding

a mop every time I saw her, she was always chasing

us from room to room with a broom - and following

up with a bucket of water and mop, then the broom

 

Became a warning sign set up across the entrance to

the room she had recently washed; now I understand

the rationale for her strict regime - and feel fearful of

messing up my clean floors - shuddering to think that

the eternal dust from the air field across the road will

have me sweeping and mopping again tomorrow, we

 

Shall have to make our peace with living in dust as this

endless cleaning is going to drive us insane, and loose

carpets suddenly seem the best thing after ice cream…

Lyrica Death & Concocting Its Own Story

My brother Attila the Hun and Pete, brother-in-law,

both decided to take the Lyrica painkiller which kills

its users also - - both claim they only have a choice

between cyanide and this Pregabalin - killer of men

 

The pain of their fractured vertebrae is worse than the

danger they face - though Lyrica destroys short-term

memory and users lose their eyesight, hearing, hair

and teeth; their hands turn into claws, they lose use

 

Of their feet and have to use two walking sticks, the

skin starts itching unbearably with aneurysms another

threat; but both feel they will go with slow Lyrica death

before finally resorting to cyanide - I hope they can

 

Escape their pain and stay sane for a while; dying

incrementally was not an enjoyable experience for

me - but maybe they will be less allergic and less

perturbed as the mitochondria in their body cells  

 

Is destroyed, killing cells one by one and they lose 

their brain cells till they don’t know who they are or 

have been before the Lyrica curse saved them from 

the immediate death brought on by taking cyanide... 

..............................................................................

Concocting Its Own Story

It feels as if oat meal cookies are expanding in my stomach,

I’m dizzy with hallucinations while my beloved is grumpy &

angry as he has been diagnosed with cataracts & will receive

new lenses - is he glad that technology can save his eyesight -

 

NO, irritated that he has to undergo procedures, complaining

he isn’t used to going under the knife, feeling sorry for himself,

every conversation ends in arguments and everything I say is

wrong: time to focus on other things; but I feel ill & nauseous

 

The little alien is concocting its own story and ignores me, so

I ignore it also & stick to the steel framework of visible reality

the only link between consciousness and 3-dimensional being…

Shiny With The Dew Of Optimism

The delightful signs of spring, two peach trees blossoming in soft pink

while the prune tree’s festooned with white blossoms, taking me back

to high school when we took these blossoms to school to adorn class-

rooms and everything seemed fresh and new, blue uniforms with white

 

Shirts, the English teacher letting us write adverts, unprepared speech

I could use my Eliza Dolittle accent - I washed me hands and me face

before I come, I did - we sang on the stairwell, making such a noise was

forbidden, but our principal was laughing so much, he couldn’t stop us

 

Preparing small plays for the German class - forming a funeral group,

reciting Goethe looking lugubrious with lachrymose facial expressions,

singing in the school choir with a bag of sweets clutched under my arm

watching a biology teacher camouflaged in green disappearing against

 

The green board, presenting our own poem to the Afrikaans teacher for

analysis and giggling as schoolgirls do; she thought it was an example

of modern poetry - using a BBC-based fake Russian accent to deliver

an impassioned argument why I, a Russian spy, should be sent to Mars

 

At the year-end debate, to enjoy the principal’s imitation of my accent

the next day after winning, of course; doing a scene from ‘Siener in die

Suburbs’ at the Eisteddfod - I have lovely memories of my school days,

adorned with sweet, fresh blossoms - shiny with the dew of optimism!

..............................................................................................................

[Siener in die Suburbs: An Afrikaans play]

Singers Like Amira

Singers Like Amira Who Epitomise Purity Of Sound

What is the ultimate purpose, if one exists - of our Universe?

One obvious theory is it exits to give humans somewhere to

live - my idea is that beauty, delight in harmony & symmetry

is the purpose: to produce singers like Amira who epitomises

purity of sound, enriching understanding of the human mind

.

Which has the capacity to produce squillo, a magical vibrato

by which sound is enriched to improve mental health, giving

devotees the ability to heal and thrive sharing in the inspired

life of a nightingale princess: thus the purpose of the Universe

is to bring us Amira, an amazing & beautiful Fairytale Princess!

.............................................................................................

Mozart, Einstein, Callas and Amira

Is the Universe and the human race here by chance - 

with humans at the pinnacle of the design as sentient,

creative life - exemplified by a Mozart, Einstein, Callas

and Amira - - but what if matter had outweighed anti-

matter: would quarks have developed into intelligence

 

Including the science and art of our civilization, would

Amira have had a chance to sing & charm us through

the Internet? The answer is immaterial, we are here

listening with rapt attention to our idol, a mischievous

little goblin who took the world by storm singing O Mio

 

Babbino Caro - in the most beautiful velvet voice this

Universe has ever produced and as her voice matures,

the thrill of song never stops - on its glorious trajectory

straight into the hearts of devotees to her lovely sound

...............................................................................

Amira Whose Name Means Princess

Here on earth there is a beautiful princess called Amira

the Nightingale who sings in a way so unique, I would

send her broadcast voice to a cluster of stars - 24 000

years traveling at light-speed away, to find out whether

 

It contains extraterrestrial life - and with Amira as our

representative, I know they would realise life on Earth

is an amazing, loving, enchanting phenomenon - and

they will come looking for Amira whose name means

 

Princess in charming Arabic - on our Earth orbiting the

sun which is flying around the centre of the Milky Way

Galaxy - moving up and down like a horse on a Merry-

Go-Round: here they would find cheerful Amira-fans

 

Welcoming them with the joy Amira’s voice brings! 

Having A Talent For Being Born

As transgender has received official recognition,

it is boring and those lucky enough to live in this

state, no longer enjoy enough public sympathy &

notoriety, now children come up with interesting

new ways to distinguish themselves & titillate the

satiated internet media, only by being unique can

 

An attention-starved individual catch the eye if not

not yet being blogged by parents from birth - while

getting dressed, opening gifts, living a toddler’s life

into their teens, a new angle to become famous as

a brand name earning cash - for having a talent for

being born and successfully breathing, dressing and

 

Eating, smiling and crying, playing and sleeping and

growing older to become an ordinary human being

enjoying fame for being the subject of innumerable

clips since the day of their birth & if such greatness

was denied them - through parents too lazy to film

them, they can identify as a cat or another animal

 

And voilà, they are in the news as the next great

invention after the joy of becoming transgender

Create More Solutions While Dreaming Illusions

I’ve been told that being retired means making peace with being

useless, and I cannot accept it - for should it be true, I must find

a cannibal’s pot and jump into it to become a cannibal’s stew to

feed someone & thus being useful, but I disagree: I was useless

 

While trying to earn my salary and being lonely and sad as I could

not meet the requirement set by all my colleagues who knew the

scientific meaning of relaying a source text into another language

correctly, they had a rule book which taught them one term for

 

Everything and one way to write a sentence in which they were

infallible, so every sentence the little alien in my head came up

with was rejected as most grievously wrong, and now that I’m

retired and the naughty little alien can sing every song exactly

 

The way it wants to without ever making a reference to a rule

of some kind; I will not accept being told that my life is become

useless for not being evaluated with a Performance Assessment

& a Performance Evaluation Form, finding me less than perfect

 

I love my freedom and will not accept the verdict that freedom

means I am useless: it gives me wide scope for the imagination

and I can use my experience in translation to express my own

thoughts as succinctly as possible and should anyone see what

 

I’ve written and form an opinion tantamount to a performance

assessment, it can’t bother me since I’m free from supervisors

who are paid to evaluate others by their own standards instead

of the unique talents and experience of the individual - though

 

I mightn’t be able to please another government official, it might

just be possible that I might please other free readers who aren’t

constrained to look at the world through administrative glasses -

and evaluate documents according to what clients are forced to

 

See as necessary - instead of what the client really dreams of, so

forget it, I shall NOT abide by your requirement to classify myself

as an oxygen thief who have no role to play in society - - I believe

that sharing my experience might improve the lives of those who

 

Still need to suffer the same fate in bureaucratic systems, heaven

help them - may they learn that machines are there for automatic

chores, we humans are not classification cabinets, we are creative

beings who should create more solutions while dreaming illusions!

........................................................................................................

Deep-Cleaning Soap Suds With A Strong Brush

I must of course agree that I’m not adapting easily - at first I used too

much water - and now I use too much gas, but I’m learning - I’ve got

a system for Monday laundry and have stopped ironing on a Sunday

to get ahead with my son’s shirts;  the Duchess has told me that she

 

Throws old pillows away, never trying to wash them: now there is my

mistake - I tried to wash these, thinking it would be pollution to chuck

them out - but with garbage collectors about - nothing is ever wasted

around here - and even bathroom mats and dog blankets go into the

 

Washing machine, though all those dog hairs and dust is a problem -

I’m forging on - trying to become a domestic maid doing household

chores like a housekeeper getting paid - though a few systems are

failing - such as a steamer unable to clean the grooves in the tiles &

 

Now we require deep-cleaning soap suds with a strong brush - we

are figuring it out and sooner or later will have a clean house, even

though ubiquitous dust means everything is dust-covered almost

immediately - small victories mean we’re still on a learning curve 

 

What more can we want, given that these days people grow as old

as a hundred years: - My wish is dying softly in my sleep when the

time comes, NO resuscitation, NO living in pain, NO existence in a

vegetative state: Happy - Healthy - Dead - no illness required…

Maliciously Creative Verses

There isn’t an antidote to premeditated creativity - thus

creativity will now be perpetrated here like premeditated

criminal acts, murder most foul with malice aforethought:

Given that you have found me out and given me my come-

uppance so daintily about being a wilful perpetrator of pre-

meditated creativity, I just had to inflict more of it on you

 

Given that readers run away hysterically shouting when I

appear with yet another premeditated maliciously creative

piece perpetrated in my portfolio - oh dear, Many Worlds

Theory indicates someday, in one of the many versions of

Reality - in one of the - 25 - unrolled Dimensions of String

Theory, somebody’s bound to read this piece wondering

 

What on earth could have possessed her to keep writing

so much nonsense in one go knowing that nobody would

see any purpose in these maliciously creative verses…

A Mary Poppins Merry-Go-Round

One of my fondest memories is hanging from my arms on the

beams of the merry-go-round at the drive-in  - and now Peter

Pan says he can’t even remember it - I used to love that huge

old carousel and the fact that the dads came down from their

cars to turn it for us kids, and then this memory took on even

 

Greater significance when I learned the solar system is turning

in circles around the Orion arm while moving from side to side

on its axis in Precession cycles every 27 000 years, then I read

that this is a Mary Poppins merry-go-round - not static staying

in one big roundabout - but every revolution takes it to a new

 

Level - while just like the horses on the earth’s carousel, going

up and down, it keeps sailing on; how can Peter Pan forget the

fun we had while turning around on the carousel Friday nights

at the drive-in - playing under the big screen - until it was too

dark to see, then running back to the car to watch the movie?

 

[Precession:     A 27,000 year cycle like the slow wobble of a

spinning top, Earth’s axis of rotation angled 23.5 degrees to

Earth’s orbital plane and the direction of that angle slowly

rotates, making one circle every 27 000 years.]

Kokaai, Sakkaboela En Ramatjaffel

Die woord takhare laat my dink aan gomtorre, ‘n woord wat my bekoor;

in standerd 2 het Juffrou ons geleer om astrant en parmantig te wees

beteken ons is voor op die wa en dat sy alleen die voortou sal neem,

nou staan hier ‘n touleier kan oor die tou trap of jakkalsdraaie gooi &

sal dan sy rieme styfloop want sy gedrag is heeltmeaal onbehoorlik

 

Indien sprinkaantee so sleg proe soos dit klink, kan jy ‘n regmakertjie

skink wat dan sal voorkom dat ‘n mens paparellakoors, die ritteltits of

aapstuipe kry; en kyk hierdie meerkatgat of kommetjiesgatmuishond,

maar kyk net na hierdie oulike naam: langasemsprinkaan - - laat ons

egter aanbeweeg na iets wat mens kan eet genoem koekemakranka

 

Eet mens vis met wurgpatats kan mens verstik; allamapstieks, waar is

die woorde kokaai, sakkaboelas en ramatjaffel; laat ons nou houding tot

uitdrukking bring met modale partikels: almiskie kom van tant Breggie in

die koue Bokkeveld & dis mos fantasties om rêrig bollemakiesie te slaan,

kaskenades te geniet en sommer allerhande manewales uit te haal - en

 

Iemand wat getrek is, is hoog in die takke, het te diep in die bottel gekyk,

is aangeklam, hoogs waarskynlik befoeterd daarby; Is doodluiters nie die

perfekte woord om nonchalant te beskryf nie - en stoksielalleen kan mens

nie lekkerlyf loslyf lê soos ‘n regte loslappie & loskopdolla nie, jy sal maar

jou pyn verberg deur doodluiters en traak-my-nie-agtig rond te drentel soos

 

‘n Wafferse kampkommandant - of rondjaag in ‘n woeste wilde wagen soos

‘n regte windlawaai wat enige mooie wagen verinneweer sonder om twee

keer te dink; Ai, almelewe was argaïese terme so betowerend, my hartlam,

my skattebol wat so geluksalig by my lê - nou dink ek ons moet alle stoute

kalante, japsnoete en draadsitters wat ons wat soete moedertaal vermink

 

Laat fusilleer - met hierdie ligsinnigheid wat alle skitterende wetenskaplike

taalpraktisyns in pyn na hul harte sal laat gryp, neem ek nou afskeid…

...............................................................................................................

 "Beknopte Afrikaans-Nederlandse woordeboek met Engelse ekwivalente - 

A.A.F. Teurlinckz  (Volume 15 van Werkwinkel, tydskrif vir Nederlandse en 

Suid-Afrikaanse studies van die Adam Mickiewicz Universiteit in Poznan, 

Pole.)  [Werkwinkel 15(1-2) 2020] 

Rest On My Laurels

Into the washing machine the comforter went, the manufacturer’s

instruction of hand-washing is seen as a guideline, or the raving’s

of a madman, take your pick - at first the machine could not move

the heavy blanket, I nearly removed the heavy thing, switched the

 

Machine to “drain” - and the comforter moved behind the glass so

back to the washing cycle and there it goes, I just hope the dainty

little washing machine will forgive me for loading it heavily - it was

a crisis, washing by hand is not on while my right hand specialises

 

In experiencing electrical shocks, and I’m sure the manufacturer of

the machine knew he should set the limits for washing too high as

people are wont to openly flaunt these instructions, so now my day

is made, one terrible obstacle of washing comforter out of the way

 

Trying to overcome my aversion to cleaning my cupboard I quickly

try to cash in on the victory by telling myself now is the time to dive

into that dungeon space and dig out everything - but the little alien

living in my head immediately counters - and where would you go

 

With the things you dug out - a headache beginning in response is

a clear indication that one victory is enough for today, no trying to

push my luck - and the spinning cycle announces the experiment

is a success, I shall rest on my laurels for the rest of the day

Totally Whimsical

The naughty little alien reads the text with me and tells me

what it thinks, I listen and indulge it because its imagination

is amazing although totally whimsical and dangerous - long

ago before I was older & wiser, I believed what it said in my

head and got myself into such trouble, though the stories it

 

Tells are much too good to be eschewed - I enjoy the way

it interprets with new perspectives, unfolding some of the

tightly rolled aspects of reality - which, according to Many

Worlds Theory, represent potential that is fulfilled some-

where in the universe; then I turn away and look at a text  

 

To see what the steel framework of this reality contains and

stick to the interpretation which other people say is what we

should see objectively, but even the simpleton living my life

knows the naughty little alien’s dreams are my favourite &

reality can't compete with these improbable fantasies…

Moon Maiden & Rekindling & Attractor & Profound

Moon Maiden 

Thus spoke the group of wise old men: Go find ye the Moon Maiden

who leads weary travelers through the valley of death unto the sun-

spoke wise old Dafydd: The world’s sad and full of Thunder - find ye

the Maiden of perfect technique whose Vibrato Wonder sounds over

Yonder; spoke wise old Keith: Nay, what brings thee through the Sea

of Crisis then the Sea of Rains, will be the spiritual themes of devotion

 

To fine nobility which saves those caught within the Ocean of Storms,

follow ye the Light of her Voice to the Sea of Serenity and onwards to

the Sea of Tranquility, as the Moon shines we see its Perigee bringing

storms in spring tides - but at its Apogee - the Moon sings with Amira

and all will become Serene and Tranquil, the Moon Maiden has found  

Wisdom and shares it freely with all who thirst after the Joy of Insight

[Perigee: Moon nearest to earth, Apogee: Moon furthest from earth]

.........................................................................................................

Rekindling Dreams

Is this Universe Infinite? - Judging by the power

of Love and Beauty in Amira’s songs as symbols

of angels supporting us & Amira’s voice rekindling

dreams of spiritual ideals in which a Higher Power

bequeaths talent to special people like Amira, and

.

Knowing that we can only see 15 billion light-years

far into space and beyond that could be Infinity with

an Eternity to learn about love; yet young Amira has

already spread more loving affection than many do

during a lifetime of seeking the meaning of Life, the

.

Universe & Everything - it seems Amira was sent to

bring us the symbol of a child singing heaven’s love

down on to a Finite Earth in an Infinite Universe…

....................................................................

Great Attractor

Hola, hombres - check the Seven Samurai

and their Great Attractor - - We Devotees

follow our own Great Attractor Amira who

pulls us to her with a radiant sound, which

reflects an inner tranquility and a love for

all people as seen in her shining eyes and

lovely smile - with which she regards us -

 .

Until she sings: - Then her eyes turn in to

contemplate the Divine - spread kindness

and celestial forgiveness by means of her

lovely voice - the sound reaching beyond

a Milky Way Galaxy towards an amazing

Great Attractor: I do think the 7 Samurai

can be at peace since we have found the

 .

Origin of the Attractive Power in Amira’s

songs - - Sparkling with Spiritual Glory!

 .

[In 1980, 7 Astronomers, the 7 Samurai; sought The Great Attractor, a

gravitational anomaly in space - known by its effect on movement of

galaxies over hundreds-of-millions of light-years across the Universe.

- 7 Samurai: Alan Dressler, Roberto Terlevich, Donald Lynden-Bell

Gary Wegner, David Burnstein and Roger Davies - ] 

Panoramic view of the entire near-infrared sky. Location of The Great

Attractor is shown following the long blue arrow at bottom right.

.................................................................................................

Her Voice Sounds So Profound

Do you think the Invisible Cosmic Administration

tunes in to the Solar System to listen when Amira

sings?  - I agree with Terry Pratchett’s theory that

1% visible being is governed and recorded by 99%

Invisible Black Matter and Dark Energy

.

And as Wisdom, Love, Beauty, Music and Art all

form part of Amira’s art - and keep the Universe

from flying apart - while forming the Background

Microwave Sound against which her voice sounds

so profound, I suspect Superconsciousness

.

Loves Amira’s beautiful voice just as much as ALL

of us tuning in to listen to every song she has ever

sung while sighing for more - hoping and praying -

for the day when she will be holding concerts all

over the world and the Angels will attend at

.

Our Cosmic Address: The Cosmos, Centaurus Wall,

Virgo Supercluster, Milky Way, Orion  Arm, Earth -  

& most importantly, the Concert Hall where Amira

will be performing her lovely songs!

.

[Our Cosmic Address: Earth, Solar System, Orion Arm,

Milky Way Galaxy, Local Group, Virgo Supercluster,

Centaurus Wall, The Cosmos]

☼♪♫