Saturday, January 31, 2015

Thank You My Love

THIS is why I adore my beloved so much - you make
the world safe, you have given me a new life - I was
an anxious child, scared of mother and father, fearing
for the safety of my twin sis who wouldn't stop calling
their wrath down on us - with the fear was the feeling
of living without love, as if we lived in a hostile, alien
world - then I met you and the friendship you offered


Was wonderful, yet wonderful things didn't mean much
as anxiety still reigned - then you explained your rules
for life; that's when I realised a miracle was happening
to me: for the first time I was safe, now I could choose
the joy of motherhood because my children would be
safe too; though I sometimes lose sight of these truths
as life goes on, forgetting why the rules are important


Though I blame you when your directions do not seem
wise; insight into the way your guidance made my world
safe and brought me delight always returns when danger
is overcome; like a knight you fight every dragon trying to
kill us and you give us a talisman - a rule by which
danger is averted; tonight, when our little prince came
home, disappointed with the conduct of his 'friends'


I saw you taking care of him, giving him love - and knew
this is why you are the King, I obey, honour and respect
you as you treat me like your Queen and extend your
benevolence to our whole family, leading us safely through
the world's labyrinth - I love you so much and would like
to honour you more - wish I could really put a crown
on your head, not just in thought: thank you my love


[1 February 2015]

[To Martin, my beloved, who takes such good care of Tiaan
and makes the rules that keep us safe from ruin, the kind that
follows when there are no limits – the way my parents lived
and everyone smashed up on their own.]

Friday, January 30, 2015

Allure And Mystique

The magic’s back, I see beauty and joy,
find gifts in the Chinese shop - a silver
cloth that folds over my work table top,
Christmas strings shimmering in rain-
bow colours now become a stream to
connect my fairy - posing as a mermaid
on a rock – to the new snowy white hat

A birthday banner ready for use and a
pink tablecloth to off-set the coloured
serviettes & crystal glasses with which
we shall make a birthday toast; a lunch-
hour well-spent as these trinkets add to
the allure and mystique of my colourful
work-station; though my professional

Colleagues seated in their neutral hues
are shaking their heads…

[30 January 2015]

Filled With The Divine


I take great care what I eat, making sure it’s
something sweet, then tidy my work station:
washing teaspoons and cups in an old tub -
pour boiling water into cups that have black
algae growing in them, what with my seldom

using real soap, cover milk & coffee tins with
pink and blue cloths, rearrange a pink rose in
front of my keyboard, place the little sea horse
on my see-through paperweight – symbolising 
the purity of crystal consciousness

Behind me a blue polka-dot sun screen and
gangster cap are neatly placed upon striped
paper while a lime-green paper plate is affixed
next to a smiling Madiba & on my right,  yellow
paper plates represent the golden crown of 

the highest spiritual aura; a purple scarf on my
2nd chair illustrates my search for wisdom & now
I know why we must grow old and not die before
our time: to gain enough wisdom to obviate the
need for reincarnation in this universe, and to

move on to other planes intersecting our physical
space, existing at such a high vibration we cannot
discern them with our 5 senses, when conscious-
ness finally leaves my body at death I shall shoot
like a supernova, moving faster than light, into a

new dimension where we attain light conscious-
ness; a feeling of being filled with the Divine, with
love, peace, joy and ecstasy - quite impossible to
relay in limited human terms…

[30 January 2015]


Thursday, January 29, 2015

A Dying Victim

A beautiful new white hat to represent
the crystal consciousness I would love
to have, trimmed it with a glistening white
mask, white flowers and shiny pearls

A silver shiny ribbon to round it off, my
colleague scoffs and another snorts but
this is not for them or to win anybody’s
good opinion – it’s just to make me glad

In the growing heat – feels as if the warm
Cape wind is blowing over me changing
my work station into a desert and I’m a
dying victim lost in scalding dunes…

[29 january 2015]

Ethereal Energy Webs & Never Rise Again


Oh no, I’ve jumped the gun: Crystal Consciousness
is fifth on the list, Amphibious consciousness comes
first - in which the spiritual seeker must see patterns
in web-like designs (in cobwebs or Grandma Alice’s
crocheted Peruvian poncho’s for my sister and me?)

No, it’s something else, we must pass through these
ethereal energy webs at enormous speeds, knowing
we are leaving the fabric of the universe behind to go
to other realms of existence to experience the multi-
dimensionality of the universe just like Alice did when

She fell into the rabbit hole; it’s clear what the Shaman
wants from us: to leave rational logic behind and enter
a place where feeling and emotion only count - this is
easy – I grew up in Wonderland falling down my very
own rabbit hole of shifting shapes & wild creatures

Grandma Alice the Crying Mock Turtle making soup
for us, crying as she was Cinderella and her evil step-
mother daughter, my mother The Queen of Hearts,
never let her go to the ball while my Duchess twin
always bored her sharp chin into my shoulder -

Brother Peter Pan sang of being the Old River Steamboat
Number One; Attila the Hun, the eldest child, lustily drank 
and played guitar; the youngest, Tom Thumb, fought mice
with sharp sewing needles while Conan the Barbarian-dad,
exploded whenever he saw the Queen of Hearts

Presenting a new scheme for easy money and I - Alice
in Wonderland - lived in the books I read, growing and
shrinking with the protagonists – well, I have this down
pat; I’ve already passed Amphibious Consciousness in
my childhood and I prefer Crystal Consciousness

To the ethereal energy webs I left behind… 


************************************************

Never Rise Again…

Want to learn more but germs interfering,
blocked nose that burns when breathing
and steel coils tightening around my head,
can’t think for the life of me, can’t sit up
straight, sneezing intermittently, fatigue
and feverish spells –

This could be an old-fashioned cold forcing
me to stay in bed with aspirin, a hot water
bottle, chicken broth and lemon tea feeling
sorry for myself – I don’t know, too tired to
think about what’s to be done, waiting to
go home and lie down –

Never To Rise Again…

[29 January 2015]

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Little Stick Figures


Trying to learn, take it all in - but it will
take time to entertain these wonderful
new ideas in my brain: Used to think of
self as breakable & fragile as glass and
delicate in the extreme - therefore very
precious and needing great care - now
I find the self is as alive and strong as
crystals freely forming in rocks

A Consciousness Teacher even says our
inner essence is like pure while light - an
image I love - of a film projector and life is
the coloured film reel changing the light in-
to coloured pictures with new meaning, so
Consciousness is developed, Awareness
expanded & new information and abilities
are added to the Quantum Mind

Within which we all exist sharing the same
consciousness and from which we emanate
like dreams created by a super-intelligence
experimenting with the Multiverse in which
infinite dimensions continue independently;
here I stop as my brain short-circuits over-
loaded by too many amazing images, later
I’ll research this pure white inner light

And the films we produce - acting like little
stick figures in our own dreams…

[29 January 2015]


[Actually, a cellphone is the new source of the 
films of our lives, showing the film reels using 
a new technology - but the image is the same]

Crystal Consciousness (Cor.)

My new ideal is to develop crystal consciousness
to perceive everything as it really is, not distorted
or coloured by my 5 senses, judgmental thoughts
and confusing feelings; striving for perception that
is direct, pure and complete - simply because this


Would enable me to perceive that everything in the
universe is alive - seemingly lifeless matter which
grows like crystals and also ages with time - and I
would perceive clear crystalline structures, sub-
atomic particles as well as quantum energies


I love the theory that crystals connect us to purity,
clarity, radiance, timelessness and incorruptibility,
even before reading this I've developed an affinity
with crystal consciousness, my sitting room is filled
with imitation snowflakes glittering in silver -


Crystal chandeliers & ornamental vases reflecting
the world in shiny glass mosaics on pristine white
tabletops; although I have not mastered spherical
consciousness as yet - a prerequisite, the shaman
specifically said - I really desire the ability to feel


The life in every material thing around me and
share the joy of existence with them…


[28 January 2015]

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

In My Daydream

In my daydream we are back in school
and my nieces sing at the school concert,
Ave Maria by Gounod – just like Maria
Callas - and Stille Nacht just like the
Vienna Boys Choir – and there

My story stops as I replay these songs in
my head and listen every night, then my
highest ideal manifests again, I become
a young Christine who sings to a scarred
Phantom and wins his love and

Forgiveness through the beauty of my
devotion to heal the hole in his heart, in
my story, I leave with the Phantom and
see to it that he has a wonderful life, the
way I dream my dad would have had

If he had met his own Christine instead of
mother, the Queen of Hearts, shouting
“Off with his head” all the time…

Travels On An Ox-Chart & Spice Up My Little Life

TRAVELS ON AN OX-CHART

Scientists, bless their souls - were it not for
them, we would still have been illiterate and
at the mercy of the Church with 10 babies to
feed, struggling to survive every drought and
potato famine – some scientists believe

They found evidence that many universes do
exist, as usual too scared to say anything, they
nevertheless point to 4 circular patterns in the
cosmic microwave background of our universe,
their thinking enlightened to hypothesise

There are many Big Bangs continuing infinitely,
parallel universes bump and crash and new ones
form all the time, as has been taught by Eastern
spiritualists, but Western science travels on an
ox-chart chained to 5-sense observation

It’s fine – better than being forced to accept other
people’s visions when verification is impossible and
the many visions contradict each other all the time –
for me, confirmation of the proliferation of Big Bang
Theories is just wonderful and good enough

To keep me going for a month at least…

[27 January 2015]


***********************************************

SPICE UP MY LITTLE LIFE

Ah, a soft sigh – our guardian angel takes care
of us till we grow into our own higher self - though
we retain individual self-identity, consciousness
expands right into a collective -  sweet release
from existential angst indeed - I rejoice to think

Finally we shall enter in the Fifth Kingdom to be-
come superhuman beings called The Planetary
Hierarchy who might incarnate to teach humanity,
but sadly, the story goes they were banished by
the people 12 000 years ago and since then

Mankind has been fighting non-stop – today this
group is active on the etheric plane, they send
esoteric information to advanced disciples who
publish it openly  on the Internet where delighted
seekers read it avidly - although the Planetary

Hierarchy never communicate with me directly -
arcane knowledge is reserved for those considered
absurd in normal society; what would I give to join
their ranks, become a channel revealing news from
the Hierarchy, run the risk of being considered

A heretic by the church and a lost schizophrenic by
the hapless psychiatric brotherhood - ah, no - I shall
also work behind the scenes otherwise I’ll lose my
dream of caring for my little family, if the Planetary
Hierarchy is clever enough to hide from humanity

I shall follow suit and just read what their ardent
disciples publish openly, no need for cults or sects,
they say, in this way I keep ‘au fait’ with the amazing
mysteries which spice up my little life…

[27 January 2015]

Monday, January 26, 2015

Ideals Of Views & Dimly Lighting The Way

Ideals Of Views

Is it possible to respond to disappointment with
the honour, dignity and courage as prescribed
for a meaningful life that brings happiness and
pride? Can we respond to all temptations and
challenges in the same way? Trying to find out

I’m meeting today’s disappointment with as much
dignity, courage and honour I can muster, reading
quotes on the Internet about the true source of real
happiness; turning my mental station to FM Classic,
listening to soothing music while thinking about my

Ultimate goal, the relief found by releasing mental
pressure in words appearing on screen, dreaming
of being a beauty queen - the most difficult of all
fantasies were I ever seen; luckily imagination is
stubborn and refuses to conform to reality

I still run and dance everywhere in my mind, having
a tomboy life, achieving nothing more than enjoying
spring mornings on pristine snow-covered hills, also
watching the ideals of views I desire to see growing
in my mind…



******************************************************

 Dimly Lighting The Way
 

Finding a ray of light: happiness is a switch I flick
in my brain and has nothing to do with applause,
praise or intensity; happiness is a state of balance,
order, rhythm and harmony, not concerned with
self-gratification but fidelity to a worthy purpose

Best of all, happiness depends on self-discipline –
the very object of my life as a child, though I failed
to attain happiness when success was my only goal,
once happiness came by staying sane and setting
reachable standards while sorting out my values

I also achieved success; happiness means something
different to each person but serves the same purpose:
makes us feel at ease, satisfied and calm, hopeful and
dreamy – and this is all I ever want, a far-off mystery
inviting me to follow by the light of the little

Glow-worms of hope, dimly lighting the way…

[26 January 2015]

Sunday, January 25, 2015

The Love He Holds

My birthday gift - a Wishes Jar with a winged
fairy sitting on top, the back of the jar informs me
that I should write all my wishes on the scroll inside
and then expose the jar to the full moon whereupon
the fairy will FEEL these wishes and make them
come true, I'm empowered to believe in


The impossible dream by this gift, now I can decide
what I want first - my first wish is for Carine - my
changeling child - to choose her own wishes and try
to fulfil them and that we all may help her to grow
to a new place of safety and love; a new feeling of
joy and delight in her heart - secondly I want


Nici to be happy with Jacques and Tiaan to be happy
all by himself - but first and foremost I want Carine
to discover the joy she missed for so long, knowing
we're the family waiting to embrace her, I want her
to enjoy lovely dishes and happy days at work, find
soulmates and feel embraced by other people who


Feel they have an affinity with her life and the strange
twists it took; I want my beloved to be happy and my
sister the Duchess to have the best life she can - but
my priority is to dream of Carine escaping from the
clutches of death and suffocation, of her choosing the
small joys of our little world, the feeling of family


Together in unity - even when her dad is the sphinx
sporting a poker face, always in a hurry to finish all
conversations - knowing that deep inside he has a
heart of gold and she has a right to the safety
of the love he holds…


[25 January 2015]

Friday, January 23, 2015

How Can We Dance (by Winston Mohapi)

How can we dance when it rains so hard that
the rivers flood and our houses wash away,
When flocks are logs carried to the waterfall,
Can we still dance with all this upon us.

How can we dance when the child starves
and a mongrel steals his bone from his mouth,
When the stomach is distended like a dome,
Can we still dance when graves swallow infants.

How can we dance with so much ignorance
when foolishness is good and goodness is bad,
When reason is lost and ignorance is praised,
Can we still dance as sheep following to a precipice.

How can we dance when the sun sadly sets,
and darkness advances with unchecked speed,
When creeping wolves catch sleepy sheep,
Can we still dance when we can’t see ahead.

How can we dance when no master leads
but walks behind with view obscured, looking
aside yet not seeing to find any way ahead,
Can we still dance when we lead the leader.

How can we dance when we stay in one place;
dancing all day and night long without moving,
as clouds burst and storms destroy houses,
How can we dance when going nowhere fast.

[REVISED 2015/01/23]

2015/01/22
Mohapi TWD

[My colleague Winston Mohapi is a published South
African author and poet and his poem touched me
deeply so I asked his permission to publish it here.]

Thursday, January 22, 2015

All Things Spiritual

Two ideals, two dreams, nay three: Love, Freedom,
Wisdom - how priority is determined illustrates how
much love we have for one another, how important
freedom is and how much wisdom we have; there-
fore Wisdom comes first to determine which of the
other two should be next - for me this is Love

Freedom is third best - the saddest thing is that the
world has no wisdom, neither the liberated West nor
the Medieval East; lack of it makes the West revel in
the freedom to insult everything, even the most Holy
Ideas or Beings, all Religions - everything cherished
is attacked like Western swine trampling pearls

Celebrating Freedom without Wisdom knowing that
those with ideals will protect their beautiful ideas &
without Love manifesting as respect for each other
and our unique theories, war is inevitable; when
modern Western technologies cut straight through
the mystique and teachings of different nations

Youngsters like ancient gods will be inspired to die
for their ideals, Odysseus and Hercules will emerge
to slay those infidels who trample their Sanctuaries &
prophets will rise with Commandments by which the
evil of unrestrained Freedom will be condemned, the
West idolises Freedom to the extent that all other

Values and morals are destroyed, the Logic of the
Renaissance and the Reason of Quantum Physics
taught these enlightened men that human thought
is the universe's origin - now they heap contempt
on everyone believing in the Divine creation of our
wonderful planet - they have been warned by

These idealistic youngsters that the Western world's
cynical contempt for Gods, Prophets and Holy Books
will be avenged by glowing, innocent, trusting young
hearts - horrified by the abominable contempt shown
for everything that confers meaning and delight on life;
though these young warriors also lack Wisdom, their

Love and Enthusiasm for Values and Principles make
them shine high above the decadent West which does
not even respect their own quality of life, much less that
of anyone else - while the Believer's Love for all Things
Spiritual fills their lives with sweet incense…

[23 January 2015]

The Eternal Now


Playing “That Happy Feeling” By Bert Kaempfert,
the violins playing lightning strikes at me in my
pirate clothes conducting the orchestra, wearing
a gangster’s cap when going out as only I can
hear the music to which I’m marching; this might
scare off all suspicion about my strange gait

Using a wide smile overly bright as a decoy to
force people to fixate on my face and thus ignore
the wide black pirate pants and flip-flops when
reserving a table for tomorrow’s dinner, back in
the office Saint-Saens comes to my aid playing
white froth and fishes flashing in slanted sunlight

But I long for a fairy tale to fill my heart – now
Nocturne 9 by Chopin slows alpha brainwaves
and slowly I catapult on the notes out of the office
into a scene straight from Nodame Cantabile - to
frolic amongst flowers and trees, Waltz in C-sharp
minor picks up the theme and autumn leaves 



Swirl around me as I twirl in roundabouts formed
by swirling notes which enclose my heart in tight
round bundles swerving the turns as the notes
starts galloping again, I’m in fairyland and not
likely to come back till the return to the starting
theme which tears at my feelings and pulls

Me back forcefully, deposited on the soft noises
in the open-plan office; I run back to Nocturne in
E-flat but it’s no use, the sadness is here to stay,
Bach’s Suite No.3 draws me further away - until 
auxiliary services rudely interrupt with questions
as to my ability to survive with just a fan

In temperatures of up to 31 degrees Celsius - of
course I can, misting the air with a spray nozzle;
the mood is spoiled and Mantovani sets in with
Blue Tango so I can dance again with Death and
Renate Flitworth at the Disc-World’s Harvesting
Party, after using our straight-bow arm position

We step high on La Cumparsita, never losing the
rhythm to end on a signature Swan Lake Waltz,
as Prima Ballerina I take the lead and magical
silver light accompanies my troupe as we dance
through the night, ending our dream on Liszt’s
Liebestraum No.3 circling all souls back to 


The here and now - where we’re supposed to be
according to Buddhist tradition, the Eternal Now
as Wen declared when he courted Lady Time…




HAPPINESS FILLING MY BEING 

Waddling outside like a duck, legs stiff
as sweet chocolate and oily crisps take
their revenge; bought a second striped
pink playsuit to keep in reserve for next
summer when the first one will be worn-
out; and a thin striped turquoise blouse

In the office I fight the noise with Ivan
Rebroff’song: Kosaken mussen reiten,
Mimi & Thokozile can sing as much as
they want but when I sing along with
Kosaken I’m told to keep quiet - this
is not fair; who can stay quiet when

The song goes like this: Drinnen gluht
der Samovar, Kosaken mussen reiten,
ihr ganzes Leben reiten - noch sneller
als der Wind - weil sie dazu geboren
sind -
uns gehört das große weite 
Land – the beauty of these velvet

Men’s voices singing with Rebroff be-
gets such happiness filling my being!

[22 January 2015]



Kosaken müssen reiten

Music: Rudi Bauer
Lyrics: Fred Weyrich

Über uns ist es sternenklar,
drinnen glüht der Samowar,
aus der Ferne hört man das Signal
alle Herzen jubeln im Choral:

[Refrain]
Hey, Hey, Hey,
Kosaken müssen reiten,
ihr ganzes Leben reiten,
noch schneller als der Wind,
weil sie dazu - geboren sind !

Und wir jagen den Berg hinauf,
vor uns steigt der Nebel auf.
Und die Hufe schlagen in den Sand
uns gehört das große weite Land !

[Refrain]
Hey, Hey, Hey,
Kosaken müssen reiten,
ihr ganzes Leben reiten,
noch schneller als der Wind,
weil sie dazu - geboren sind !

Keiner fragt wo wir morgen sind,
wie der nächste Tag beginnt,
wo für uns die helle Sonne scheint
und das Heimweh ist der beste Freund !

[Refrain]
Hey, Hey, Hey,
Kosaken müssen reiten,
ihr ganzes Leben reiten,
noch schneller als der Wind,
weil sie dazu - geboren sind !

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Every Lost Moment


Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony’s my
favourite – allegretto it says in my MP3
download - conducted by Herbert von
Karajan, all sadness and regret without
a specific event causing the pain felt

I cry for every lost chance, every lost
dream, every lost moment – then the
music flows on and brings the promise
of finding a new dream, to hang on to
my lodestar-ideals while reaching for

The new, the unheard of, the beauty
I can’t fathom right now, sounding like
purity, excitement and delight; the soft
violin strings sounding like rain before
the storm builds up again, Bluebeard

Stalks in, a heart full of hatred & wrath
because the lady dared to enter his vault
with evidence of the murder in his heart,
the music slows and the story changes,
Bluebeard spares her life, forgiveness

Of his hasty spirit saved her life, changed
him into the strong knight he aspired to
be – such a glorious symphony-

[21 January 2015]

Accepting Our Own Self and Lilting Ideas

ACCEPTING OUR OWN SELF

Anything not in alignment with Love, the
life force in the energy field manifesting as
a constant rising into ecstasy, always dis-
integrates into the nothingness from which
it came because there is only Love, nothing
else - reason and logic need not lead us

anywhere as we are already here eternally
enveloped by the Divine; the Essence which
contains us, embracing us constantly

To return to reality we just surrender to the
center of our being, the holy sanctuary with-
in where the flame of Love burns eternally;
we have blocked our awareness of our true
state of existence by choosing to enter the
illusion – yet when we relax within the inner
sanctuary, allowing thoughts to float away,
we find peace – which is our natural state:
being in the now, accepting our own Self

[23 January 2015]


LILTING IDEAS

Know what would make you happy,
you seeker of happiness? Buying the
products of the Happiness Doctor will
make you feel happy when you receive
an illustrated book with very few words
so as not tax the reader too much

Though the Happy Doctor warns that
reading his FREE happy-advice article
then doing nothing, is very bad as you
will have wasted 15 minutes of your
precious unhappy time imprisoning his
care-free words with your eyes –

He urges you to buy all his Happy Books,
no curse placed upon you for reading the
glossy pages then tossing the book aside
without doing anything, having wasted
more of your limited time perusing his
lilting ideas and twiddling theories –

It’s only when you read his FREE on-line
stuff and then do nothing, not buying his
beautiful books; that the curse of wasted
time devolves upon you; un-happy reader
beware, do not read this online article un-
less you wish to purchase these – and

The Happy Spritzer Doctor quotes a very
satisfied disciple: “professional & credible
yet digestible” – this devotee wanted to
make a profit on the 15 minutes he spent
reading the Doctor’s freely dispensed
advice online – now he has a growing

Heap of Happy Material without incurring
the Doctor’s wrath by his not reading nor
applying, it was only the wasting of advice
FREELY dispensed that had the Doctor
up in arms – what a clever Doctor he is!

[21 January 2015]

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

In Agony

Wondering why I’m in such pain then the
memory came: had a breakfast croissant
now my system’s up in arms - neck stiff -
brain short-circuiting, my head in agony,
nose, ears, back, lost all interest even in 
music and exciting Bible prophecies, no
more summaries of great ideas, no more
attempts to decipher great theories, can’t
read my own work, much less that of any-
body else – let me sink into the torrent of
pain to hide in the centre of this tornado
knowing tomorrow I’ll be sane again….

[20 January 2015]

Cognitive Dissonance

Jihad and genocide demand total submission - and
liberal ideals are irrelevant in regions where politics
are based on totalitarian religion,  the Islamist threat
is spreading fundamentalism across the Middle East

Threatening Western Civilization with global jihadist
extremism & Islamist radicalism with its supremacist
aspirations - ‘Islamism’ brings subjugation to ‘infidel’
minorities – look at the Cognitive Dissonance in the

Irony of feminists and gay-rights activists supporting
religious extremists engaged in persecuting the very
rights of gay activists and feminists; see the intent of
Islamic terrorism stated by the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei

                    ‘Israel is to be annihilated’

Look at ramifications of jihadi radicalism, an existential
threat grounded in ideology not geography: Islamism is
derived from Muslim scripts and the jihadist impulse is
derived from religious conviction
 

Treating Hamas as a ‘legitimate political entity’ defies
history, logic and common sense; Obama’s affinity for
Islamists did not win Islamic support for America; so
choosing Iran as rational partner is utter madness

The Islamism of ISIS , Hezbollah, the Islamic Jihad - a
wing of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard - threatens the
shared cultural and political values of the United States
and Israel; Iran as rogue regime involved in global jihad

Brings conflict to the US – but the American people’s
bond with Israel shall not be broken by Obama’s hostile
administration; read the Book of Yehoshua for strength
and inspiration:  “Be strong & courageous;

Be not afraid, nor dismayed; for the Lord your
G-d is with you wherever you go” - words which
will resonate long after Obama has gone…

[Joshua 1:9]

[20 January 2015]

Monday, January 19, 2015

A Saviour

Many different outcomes can be imagined for a set
of conditions, we receive warnings from alternative
selves who dealt with the result of possible choices
in events we are going to experience, enabling us
to make informed decisions to keep us safe

Bible prophecy also details the outcomes when the
prophets’ advice is ignored - such as vengeance of
a Godly Power when the world’s leaders cut up the
Promised Land, evoking an image of sweet revenge
for my beloved Israel who brought the wonder of

Bible text to the world and I lament when the West
forces Israel to give up land to meet the demands
of Palestinians lacking understanding of concepts
like self-esteem and respect & who detest Israel’s
success based on wisdom and love; thus they

Sacrifice their own lives in a propaganda-game to
frame Israel for the wounds inflicted on themselves,
Palestinian refugees blame Israel who would never
treat their enemies the way Palestinians treat
THEMSELVES – then how impressive the

Revenge of a Power beyond our 3-D-universe who
promised prosperity to all those respecting Israel’s
return to the Holy Land and endless strife amongst
those trying to divide Israel to pacify the insatiable
Palestinians - irrevocably pledged to self-destruct

Taking the whole world with them; preferring to com-
mit suicidal homicide on a global scale to obliterate
Israel, the People of the Covenant, rather than
admitting they need a Saviour too…

[20 January 2015]

Friday, January 16, 2015

More Of the Same

Tomorrow  I wish to convince Carine to do something
positive; the first thing I can think of is writing the book
she has threatened me with years ago - since then she
has read Hitler’s Mein Kampf so she might write down
what she thought of it; then adding her low opinion of

The poor guy who played Captain Von Trapp in The Sound
Of Music to spoil other people’s enjoyment of the movie
as she spoiled mine - why not indeed - I bet lots of people
will agree – especially Terry Pratchett And Neil Gaimann
who blithely declared that there would be only 1 movie


Shown in heaven - that’s why the demon Crowly and the
Angel Aziraphale had to prevent the Devil Child in Good
Omens from destroying the world – the Angel could not
live in a heaven showing The Sound of Music incessantly
only Bach Cantatas breaking the monotony  - besides -


Dearest Carine can work up a storm in her heart and
head that puts me to shame  - so I know she is strong
and she’ll only do what she pleases; tomorrow I wish
to show her how easy it is to create a Blogspot where
she can vituperate, cajole and enlighten as much as


She wants – and thoroughly hone her writing skills to
such an extent that all chance visitors would want to
return for more of the same!


[16 January 2015]

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Devil-Devised

Now I have taken my sleeping pill, tongue anaesthetised,
can’t talk - memory revives: today I realised office chairs
on little wheels are devil-devised, demonised- the most
evil invention visited upon mankind, false promises of
ease and false expectations of competence


My chair refuses to turn in the direction I want to go, sticks
on the edge of the plastic used to protect office carpets and
which once made my boss fall on its super-smooth surface;
my chair sticks and when finally dislodged, it moves in the
wrong direction – fact is, only two pairs of wheels


Are still fine, the rest have all broken off so I need to keep
the high part in front, the low part at the back - otherwise
I slide out of my chair all day – these chair wheels are so
demonic, they simply turn the wrong way all day long,
until I feel like killing or committing suicide…


[14 January 2015]

In Phoenix Fires

Nothing accomplished, no help offered, masked
depression used as shield, Scorpio immediately
attacked, thus with the ease of years of practice
all defenses went up; yes, this was just cathartic
just reaction following road accident fund invest-
tigation, she will order her mind and everything
will be fine, nothing sorted, she’ll see


Her trusted psychologist, she’ll return to her lonely
lodgings where she lives in fear after an attack on
her life, the more this crocodile tried to explain it’s
a problem to be solved, the more Scorpio insisted
that she should go on as before, she had to agree
thus I could not secure the lonely child, could not
make a difference, could not get her to


Express her true feelings, to reveal how abandoned
she felt as she did at Christmas when her mask was
stripped, this reptile mom should have stayed at home
as the masquerade leaves no room for me to help her
wounds to heal; Scorpio demands she be strong and
fulfil her duties and she agrees – she has to with him
standing there, Captain Von Trapp was a lamb


Compared to Scorpio glowing in Phoenix fires after
his short remorse had died in ashes and he rose

again stronger than before - I could have cried but
what difference would it have made, let’s hope
Scorpio’s changeling child will be all right…

[14 January 2015]

Shower Her With Love


One crocodile catching a changeling child
who is running wild, fleeing from everything
as the content of her mind is so depressing,
indelible pain etched into her mind while her
anxious thoughts of criminal attack

Are driving her mad – and Scorpio, Lord and
Master of the Crocodile Castle, is rising like a
Phoenix to analyse his changeling child so as
to decide how to deal with her wish for suicide,
what can be done to ease her mind

Erase her dark memories, leave fear behind,
break out of her isolation and take the helping
hand that is held out to her for now – and the
question is - can this Crocodile and a fierce
Scorpion help to change her feelings of

Desperate fear into the security of knowing that
she has a Phoenix father and Crocodile mother
who will assist her in finding happiness again –
building her self-esteem by finding her purpose
in life – one aspect of my changeling child

Is to give a crocodile mom the chance to shower
her with the love she needs - I wish to nurture all
those needing wisdom and love who cross my
path – Carine is my changeling child in need
of the care I wish to give…

[14 January 2015]

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

A Primitive Reptile


I’ve just been told off for being an uncouth beast
in conversation, interrupting everyone in the most
overbearing manner, since my family is used to me
as a fading wall-flower quiet in the corner I was in-
formed in a most charming, condescending way


That I was required to hold my tongue, I’m as ire-
levant as my dear Conan the Barbarian dad, just as
egoistic as the Queen of Hearts; as overpowering as
Attila the Hun, my eldest brother - the family connec-
tion surfaces again, denoting me a pest in society


With what little dignity I had left I withdrew to my
laptop and looked up child prodigies concluding
that early demise is the only solution to lives like
mine, without talent, courage or meaning, a life
in which I pester my own little family so that


The kids run when they see me come - my superior
better half explains - and I cringe, so this is the end
of my life which held such dreams when I was young,
now the roses past are all forgotten, I shall not leave
anything for others, only laments about my life as


A stupid little crocodile who can’t wait to tackle the
afterlife as physical life is not conducive to making
any spiritual progress - the Lord and Master of the
Crocodile Castle - Scorpio with an untamed sting in
his tail, burns up and emerges like a Phoenix


Leaving this crocodile behind - I can only progress
when my mind is freed from my crocodilian head
which seems to be anchored to a lonely existence
as a primitive reptile who once walked the earth
with dinosaurs - and can’t adapt to modern life


[13 January 2015]

Waiting For Hope


How do I teach a broken child who lost all she
treasured to reach for positive expectation, how
do I teach a spirit feeling unworthy and lacking
in well-being, to think thoughts of worthiness –

How do I teach a hurting child to stop resisting all
good things and to seek great ideas and entertain
new possibilities; how does a bleeding soul learn
to see opportunities - and how will Hope take up

Her abode in a smouldering soul full of pain and
despair, how does Hope find a way into the heart
of a crying child? The only act left is Love, loving
her, my broken child, showering her with LOVE

Waiting for Hope to bring light into the inner dark
where no spark of life is left…

[For Carine, waiting for Hope to come]

[13 January 2015]


A Great Option

Terrorists have nothing to do with religion,
only with loneliness and overcoming this by
joining an exciting gang which promotes the
expression of fury at suffering in a world full
of cold strangers, what better way to get their
attention than killing for any reason whatever

If Muslim extremists did not offer the solution,
bland terrorism against materialism inspired
by Marxism, would do  - thus the solution lies
in extending love to all by letting kids develop
self-esteem and enjoy mutual respect – this is
impossible it seems: their parents are scarred

Also and will continue the life cycle of violence
and aggression; only in a world where all people
are already loving - welcoming their babies with
delight, engendering self-respect and affection -
harmony will come into being: Only a totalitarian
civilisation, in which all the unloved and unloving

People have been eliminated, can realise such
an ideal – the only thing each of us can do is to
love the person next to you – I tried –  but when
brushed off like an irritating fly, I fully understand
why shooting and bombing these oblivious, self-
congratulating types, is such a great option…

[13 January 2015]

Monday, January 12, 2015

My Changeling Child [REV.]

A dark strange December, suffocating without
joie de vivre & menacing, in the end I couldn’t
communicate, no replies to friends messages,
no talking to Birgitt, my nephew, no replies to
Heike or Ronel, no action & I didn’t know why;
today I think if anything it must have been

Because of Carine, my little changeling child,
her birth mother died - then also a beloved;
Carine’s heart-broken, her spirit weak so I’m
carrying a torch just for her - from now she’ll
be the first in my prayers, the golden light of
love shining out to her all the time

All guardian angels alerted - even though so
many engaged in rallying against the terrorist
attacks - there are angels spared just for my
changeling child who saw death far too often:
mother, grandmother, husband - mother-in-
law - miscarriage of her child, too much pain

For my changeling child, all I can do is pray,
meditate and tackle a backlog of messages;
supplicate to see Carine grow warm inside
again, visualise her life changing to victory
over adversity - my guilt is I couldn’t help her
when she and I were too young -

Today I try, I now know why my changeling
child is so very precious to me: I need her
to need me to help her, else my life will have
been in vain - there’s just one thing yet to be
done: give her all the love in my lonely heart,
help her find her way back to the sun…
 

[Revised 23 January 2015]


[ORIGINAL:]


 A strange December, dark, without any joie de
vivre, suffocating, menacing; in the end I could
not communicate with anyone, so no replies to
messages of friends, no talking to Birgitt or my
nephew, no replies to Heike or Ronel, no action 
and I did not know why – today I think


It must have been because of Carine, my little
changeling child, her birth mother died then a
beloved also; Carine’s heart-broken, her spirit
weak so I’m carrying a torch just for her -from
now she’ll be the first in my prayer, the golden
light of love going out to her all the time


All guardian angels on alert - even though so
many engaged in rallying against the terrorist
attacks – there are angels spared just for my
changeling child who saw death just too often:
mother, grandmother, husband - mother-in-
law - miscarriage of her child, too much pain


For my changeling child, the only thing I can do
is pray and meditate and tackle the backlog of
messages, pray and see Carine growing warm
again inside, visualise her life changing into
victory over adversity, my guilt is I could not
help her when she and I were young  -


Today I try, since I know why my changeling
child is so very precious to me now: I need her
to need me to help her, otherwise my life will
have been in vain – there’s just one thing to be
done: help her find her way back to the sun -

giving her all the love in my lonely heart…

[12 January 2015]

Friday, January 9, 2015

Fire-And-Brimstone Justice [rev.]


The dawn ‘architecture’ expert becomes political
analyst now watching CNN - French cartoonists
executed at Charlie Hebdo magazine by Islamic
extremists - a world-wide response termed ‘Je
Suis Charlie’ defends press freedoms against
terrorists unable to question their own belief but
defend it attacking free people of the West

Why do intellectually suppressed try to destroy
freedom brought by enlightened rationalism, why
do some people accept intellectual manacles so
easily, becoming radicalised by religious fanatics -
is it because they find joy in causes that involve
war wreaking tedium of a cynical, self-serving
materialistic life without values or principles;

Delighted by causes creating bonds among men,
and because poor people left behind by privileged
capitalists enjoy peace found in religions’ promises
of a ‘better life’ heaven - and thus have to destroy
any means that reveals glaring contradictions in all
creeds demanding blind obedience; preferring to
kill sceptics who question the dreams offered by

Their religion instead of leaving non-believers to a
promised fire-and-brimstone justice of their deity to
be served in the afterlife…

[Revised 23 January 2015]


[ORIGINAL:]

This morning's architectural expert now becomes
a political analyst, watching CNN - the extremist
execution of French newsmen - and a world-wide
response code-named ‘Je Suis Charlie' defending
freedom of humour & press against terrorists who
are not free to question their own belief and defend
it by attacking the free people of the West


Why do the intellectually suppressed try to destroy
the freedom brought by enlightened rationalism - 
why do some people so easily accept intellectual
manacles and become radicalised by the religious
fanatics - is it because some find joy in any cause
that involves exciting war breaking the tedium of
a cynical, self-serving materialistic life without


Values or principles; delighted by any cause which
creates bonds among men - and because poor people
left behind by privileged capitalists enjoy the peace
found in religions' promises of a better life in heaven
and thus have to destroy any means that reveals the
glaring contradictions in all creeds which demand
blind obedience; preferring to kill sceptics who


Question the dreams offered by their religion, instead
of leaving these non-believers to the promised fire-
and-brimstone justice of their deity, to be served
in the afterlife….


[9 January 2015]

A New Ice Age

Three brilliant women, close colleagues,
language fundi's & architectural pundits
in their own estimation; solved the air-con
problem of the 10-storey building in which


We face temperatures of 31 degrees C on
a daily basis: install three industrial mobile
air-con units with outlets bored through the
windows on every side of the building -


Just as their enthusiasm waxes and sets them
aflame, thunder sounds in the distance, the op-
pressive heat is leading to the inevitable storm
and much-needed rain, I want to run outside -


But co-architectural expert Annette says thunder
should be treated with respect and refers to a
someone recently struck dead, thus for fear of
pain let me remain in my chair as I stare


At my desk which seems to bubble and steam
in the terrible heat, Alet runs in to complain her
African colleagues refuse to let the working air-
con in the passage remain as they love it


To be hot and fear the cold with a passion, may-
be their forbears suffered in the ice age that
killed the dinosaurs, I wish for a new ice age
so this heat will be a thing of the past -


Including us…

[9 January 2015]

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Unexpected Synergy

Not what I aimed at originally, yet unexpected
synergy in the total effect is exciting, starting
with blue stripes and white dots in the corner,
next yellow flowers, then a green paper plate
pasted on the cupboard, blue paper cups with
silver ornaments on my computer console

Next a yellow paper plate; diagonally opposite
pink stripes on white paper pasted on the cup-
board to frame purple wings and flowers in the
same shade, Chopin’s Nocturnes & Mantovani
playing the Skaters Waltz for company, on to
Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake; turning around

My work station is a mess of hats and plastic
bags acquired while buying trinkets, a new
notebook - too pure to defile with writing; the
excitement of a new book only treasured by
keeping it pristine - looking down in delight
at my feet in blue lace Snow Queen socks

Taking down pink striped paper to cover pris-
tine book, replacing it with blue & blue dots
enjoying the ambiance created by my pastel
palace in blue, green and yellow; balance is
maintained by my delicate sheer fabric rose
and writing paper in pink - tomorrow I shall

Put away the rusks, hot chocolate, stones, books
and papers strewn everywhere - today enjoyment
of freedom to make my own mess weighs heavier
than almost forgotten dreams of professionalism -
replaced by the bubbling excitement of white dots
on blue, an influx of more life in light green

Off-set by spheres of pure golden light…

[8 January 2015]

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Bring Back My Smile

The New Year unfolds within the same safe
routines and calm evenings, kids ignoring us,
a colleague discussing a terrible Christmas,
crying, hyperactive family visiting  - while
others were having mini-strokes; the French
text on my desk: I need emotional incentives


To carry on, hoping that satisfaction in work
done will give a feeling of accomplishment 
and the joy in searching for magical objects,
rekindling the ability to discover trinkets to
offer as gifts sharing my delight with other
people; will return - but I feel quite bereft


Our security guard company is gone - there
are no friends to greet with laughter and fun
at the entrance - the stuffy office is a prison,
yet I DO count my blessings: It’s a privilege
to have a job and colleagues, to know I can
depend on them to be fair and hard-working


Sigh - good grief, if this isn’t the most boring
little life I’ve ever heard of  - I would like to
know what is, not even Bert Kaempfert’s
Swingin’ Safari and That Happy Feeling
have been able to bring back my smile…


[6 January 2015]

My Character Revealed

32 degrees C inside, the desk is burning hot,
only ice on my foot keeps the pain away, the
building is heating up - an Apocalypse without
violence, just a quiet insistence on heat as my
African colleagues do not have a problem with
this, they love it and wonder why perspiration
runs down my face, I’m as red as a char  


Then a feeling of camaraderie hits me, we in
the trenches fighting against the incompetents
who run the building, excited I spray water all
over, to suffer as a group creates a bond and
I’m glad to be here - to rest my foot on frozen
water bottles, some administrate & I translate
letters to the President, it’s so good to feel
 

This unity, seeing how the challenges reveal
character; I failed by giving in to despair and
could only improve after eating a mountain of
chocolate, salty popcorn and crisps; so let it
be known my character has been revealed
as being dismal until food in overpowering
quantities have been consumed, I shudder

To admit I’m a glutton - though my colleagues
know it already with me munching continuously
as if my life depended on it…

[6 January 2015]

Monday, January 5, 2015

Guess Who

Guess who limped into the office this morning,
guess who limped out again even faster to the
nearest doctor to complain her foot’s falling off,
ankle broken and ligaments burning with pain –
guess whose foot’s so swollen she can’t wear a
shoe, even open sandals cause a new array of
angry lightning pains to set my foot alight - yes;

I’m the guilty party who happily limped in carrying
two heavy bags with goodies then nearly fell over
in the attempt – discovering how terrible fury can
boil over & run riot in my left foot, not in the mood
for Stoic endurance & fearfully convinced of my
foot’s imminent demise – the kind doctor gently
bandaged my foot & called the ubiquitous pest

That species called specialist who was missing in
action, luckily, before I could be coerced into pay-
ing another quack a thousand dollars just to be told
only time will allow the torn ligaments to heal; the
swelling is due to overuse and the current super-
hot weather, I came away with a letter as keepsake
to remind me of another lucky escape from the

Bane of modern life; the medical fraternity & their
conspiracy to keep people alive even when our
quality of life is non-existent and pain becomes
unbearable, leaving us mangled, blind, toothless,
deaf and unable to process the food we eat- the
medico’s just love to keep track of how many
kinds of disfigured lives they can perpetuate…

[5 January 2015]

Friday, January 2, 2015

Crocodile Dreams [REV.]

Really you’re not my bulwark, or if you are,
it isn’t safe and doesn’t protect, it’s more a
jail; - when making mistakes in your eyes,
you ignite and explode Nova-like until my
moon is slain, lifeless and dead, only then

Are you satisfied, harping on my faux pas
as if your life were at stake; hiding behind
you means facing anger if your demands
are not met, - yet I’ll always prefer you to
my home-life as a kid, at least you are icy

Preferable to that fire-power & hysterics,
not that you lack in hysterical excess but
you’re consistent; - & even our kids have
adapted to mad modern life with its false
pizzaz vows, silly romances, everything

Is under control unless I err which brings
down your celestial wrath - still, whatever
you do, in the end we’re friends if I simply
pay my emotional dues, that meaning no
complaints are accepted from me; well it

Does not matter, a scorpion has to sting,
you’ve no choice - while a crocodile like
me dives into the waters of forgetfulness
- living  on crocodile dreams…

[2 January 2015]

A Gorgeous Ice Palace [REV.]

Snowflakes hung in the window of my imitation
ice palace, viewing “Frozen” again, wishing for
Snow Queen power to create wonders in ice,
completely alone & content to live in freedom 
without fear, inventing new snowflake crystal
designs through strings of melodious words

Creating a new crystal-based language while
communicating in elegant geometrical shapes
of turquoise, azure & sapphire blue - lightened
by pure yellow nasturtiums and soft pink roses,
delighting the eye with snow crystals like these
in my snow sitting room - the fireplace adorned

With silver strings, snow-white roses in rainbow
glitter taking centre stage, my Delft-blue figurine
standing next to the new angel in her own snow-
flake bubble, a gift from my kids; it’s cold enough
in sad grey weather caused by December’s end
to fold a warm blue blanket around me

January will put a sparkle in everybody’s eyes as
challenges will lead us to discover our character -
while consequences of our deeds will teach us to
become accountable for our decisions, ideals and
dreams - or at least to enjoy being devilish – like
a Snow Queen running away to create

A gorgeous ice palace…

[2 January 2015]


Thursday, January 1, 2015

What Serendipity Makes

Dense grey clouds of sadness covering the sun,
the weather reflects the sad feelings of humans
returning to work, soft rain falling like the secret
tears of those who frolicked in the sun and now
have to return to their workplaces, everyone


agrees the challenge is good & all believe new
adventures await - but before they can get into
stride, they have to say goodbye to their happy
pleasures during a short period of grief for losing
what they had in order to open space for what


is to come, I am secretly terrified as I must bide
until Monday when life will be reduced to early
mornings, seeing the sun rising gloriously then
into the office and walking on tar among shops
unless I walk uphill to fir trees around the sand-


stone of the Union Buildings, though the future
is beckoning - my expectations are always too
high, my ideals impossible and my dreams out
of this world, chances of falling flat on my face
are so big – yet I can’t give up on all these -


I need a core to anchor me to delight & beauty 
and if it means suffering for it, I’ll just have to
take it, smile and get up again because this is
what life is, a game of creating dreams - and
discovering what serendipity makes of these


[2 January 2015]

Dying Eventually

Listening to my favourite Internet guru, quite clearly this works for many people as they repeat the jargon flawlessly and I wish I could ge...