My Changeling Child [REV.]

A dark strange December, suffocating without
joie de vivre & menacing, in the end I couldn’t
communicate, no replies to friends messages,
no talking to Birgitt, my nephew, no replies to
Heike or Ronel, no action & I didn’t know why;
today I think if anything it must have been

Because of Carine, my little changeling child,
her birth mother died - then also a beloved;
Carine’s heart-broken, her spirit weak so I’m
carrying a torch just for her - from now she’ll
be the first in my prayers, the golden light of
love shining out to her all the time

All guardian angels alerted - even though so
many engaged in rallying against the terrorist
attacks - there are angels spared just for my
changeling child who saw death far too often:
mother, grandmother, husband - mother-in-
law - miscarriage of her child, too much pain

For my changeling child, all I can do is pray,
meditate and tackle a backlog of messages;
supplicate to see Carine grow warm inside
again, visualise her life changing to victory
over adversity - my guilt is I couldn’t help her
when she and I were too young -

Today I try, I now know why my changeling
child is so very precious to me: I need her
to need me to help her, else my life will have
been in vain - there’s just one thing yet to be
done: give her all the love in my lonely heart,
help her find her way back to the sun…
 
[Revised 23 January 2015]


[ORIGINAL:]

 A strange December, dark, without any joie de
vivre, suffocating, menacing; in the end I could
not communicate with anyone, so no replies to
messages of friends, no talking to Birgitt or my
nephew, no replies to Heike or Ronel, no action 
and I did not know why – today I think

It must have been because of Carine, my little
changeling child, her birth mother died then a
beloved also; Carine’s heart-broken, her spirit
weak so I’m carrying a torch just for her -from
now she’ll be the first in my prayer, the golden
light of love going out to her all the time

All guardian angels on alert - even though so
many engaged in rallying against the terrorist
attacks – there are angels spared just for my
changeling child who saw death just too often:
mother, grandmother, husband - mother-in-
law - miscarriage of her child, too much pain

For my changeling child, the only thing I can do
is pray and meditate and tackle the backlog of
messages, pray and see Carine growing warm
again inside, visualise her life changing into
victory over adversity, my guilt is I could not
help her when she and I were young  -

Today I try, since I know why my changeling
child is so very precious to me now: I need her
to need me to help her, otherwise my life will
have been in vain – there’s just one thing to be
done: help her find her way back to the sun -
giving her all the love in my lonely heart…

[12 January 2015]