Alet and I have it neatly worked out
as long as the wildly uproarious and
boisterous are kept for delight while
listening to André Rieu, dancing and
singing along, we love rowdiness
And uncouth, rude remarks should be
made in a refined, modulated voice to be
shared with girl friends only, we discussed
the double entendre of certain elements
making small contributions
In the most elegant, dainty way, laughing
without making a sound; we agreed that
singing loud hymns and songs of praise
while washing dishes, was allowed -
as long as we kept them separate
Never mixing the rude with the boisterous
both aspects of life can be enjoyed without
serious mental qualms about being badly
behaved…
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Still The Little Savage
I felt so empty inside, without anchor, without
visible horizons, like those long-lost pilots in the
Bermuda Triangle who reported they could not
use their compass, nor make out the difference
between up, down, left or right
I felt like crying for lack of direction, then found
André Rieu’s DVD ‘Live in Maastricht II’ a crowd
singing enthusiastically ‘Clavelitos’ and ‘Aviators
March’ - suddenly the emptiness was filled with
sound, gone the sad effect of
A lecture on the need to become cool and calm,
remaining detached - a feeling of solidarity with
the mischievous orchestra and lively audience
filling my heart, I danced down the passage on
my way to the kitchen, gone all ideals
Of superior dominance, I am still the little savage
enjoying life passionately, I am sure I shall wake
up one day, as sedate and collected and in charge
as you are, but until then I shall be me, laughing
and crying surreptitiously
visible horizons, like those long-lost pilots in the
Bermuda Triangle who reported they could not
use their compass, nor make out the difference
between up, down, left or right
I felt like crying for lack of direction, then found
André Rieu’s DVD ‘Live in Maastricht II’ a crowd
singing enthusiastically ‘Clavelitos’ and ‘Aviators
March’ - suddenly the emptiness was filled with
sound, gone the sad effect of
A lecture on the need to become cool and calm,
remaining detached - a feeling of solidarity with
the mischievous orchestra and lively audience
filling my heart, I danced down the passage on
my way to the kitchen, gone all ideals
Of superior dominance, I am still the little savage
enjoying life passionately, I am sure I shall wake
up one day, as sedate and collected and in charge
as you are, but until then I shall be me, laughing
and crying surreptitiously
Junior And Bruno
Tiaan and Junior, Nici and Bruno
Tiaan loves Bruno but wants to
make Junior feel loved also while
Nici unashamedly prefers Bruno
I am rather inclined to Bruno also
given his total ecstasy and lively
joie de vivre, Nici takes Bruno out
to play while Tiaan gathers dogs
and cat and keeps them with him
while he studies and reads; a young-
ster, whether human or animal
always adds a bubbling feeling
of joy to life…
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Stars in the Clouds
The local show is Tiaan being funny
illustrating how Bruno is such a cute
loving dog, then becoming a lion, a
tiger, a terror; on detecting danger
Illustrating how his mother’s loving
poems deteriorate into threats ‘That
car is slowing, shoot him dead with
a Panga’ - I am laughing so much
Then he came up with a series of titles
that have me in stitches, I am supposed
to go to sleep; but I cannot, still laughing
about his boyish antics – herewith
His own interesting set of ‘Dwaalstories’
he made me delete them but when he
left I simply pressed the return button
and here they are:
‘Kougommetjie en Deegblommetjie’
[=Chewing Gum and Dough Flowers]
‘My heelal is stukkend geval’
[=My universe fell to pieces]
‘Klaar met die sterre - nou beweeg
ek aan na die planete’
[=Finished with the stars – now I
move on to the planets]
‘Ek bêre die sterre in die wolke want
daar steek dolke in my rug - ek is
verplig om die sterre te bêre’
[=I am putting away the stars in the clouds
because there are knives in my back – I
am constrained to put away the stars]
As he walks like a giraffe through the
kitchen; I laugh and laugh, now I know
why grandma Alice loved my brother
Ian so much, he was as amusing as
Tiaan is today - I love my son, he is a
source of inordinate joy, I am so glad
grandma Alice were alive to hear Ian
sing as he ferried her about:
‘Tra-la-la-la-la-la-laa, ons ry so lekker rond,
ons sien die pad daar voor, ons ry die berge
oor’ - as we all learnt from *Anna Rudolph...
Translation:
‘Tra-la-la-la-la-la-laa, we are driving about, we see
the road ahead, we cross the hills instead’
*Anna Rudolph – Kinderstorietoneeltjies
Excludes Everybody
Sunday, sad and dark, religious and awful
ended up in church, sinned more than I would
have staying outside, praying that lightning would
strike the charismatic singer, a self-styled angel
crooning stupid songs, eyes reverently closed
Sound system tuned by a tone-deaf foolish idiot
who does not know that a deep bass always hurt
sensitive ears; when we walked into a restaurant
as noisy as church, we marched right out, here
we stayed in the company of Pharisees
I cried in the shop afterwards, seeing my reflection
in sharp mirrors, looking as ugly as sin, drying tears
surreptitiously as I had no energy left with which to
face your censure; then you started Tiaan’s urgent
school project; I washed the dishes singing
‘We had joy we had fUn, we had seasons in the sUn’
reflecting that I wanted eternity and could not stand
anything temporary, made up Afrikaans words ‘PrEt
kan jy wEd en my buurman is ‘n TjEgg, meisies op
my kErf, versamel in my Erf met geen goue gErf…’
Tiaan told me NEVER to sing these words in public
as people would throw me in prison on hearing this
sacrilege; you took Tiaan through his cell-phone
information project, contracts, pre-paid costs, I
sang satires of well-known songs until
You insisted on silence because you needed to think,
I fell silent; my fantasies of finding acceptance dying
on all fronts and it is GOOD to have it this way, this
world is only temporary, in the never-ending spirals
of infinity I shall meet with mad-caps like me
We shall have my kind of silly fun without there being
anyone else, Lobsang Rampa said we would only meet
with those in the same vibratory range we are our-
selves, that excludes everyone I know…
TRANSLATION:
‘PrEt kan jy wEd en my buurman is ‘n TjEgg, meisies
op my kErf, versamel in my Erf , geen goue gErf…’
“Fun without End, you can bEt, my neighbour is a CzEch
all the girls on my list is assembled in my yArd I have no
golden hArvest… "
ended up in church, sinned more than I would
have staying outside, praying that lightning would
strike the charismatic singer, a self-styled angel
crooning stupid songs, eyes reverently closed
Sound system tuned by a tone-deaf foolish idiot
who does not know that a deep bass always hurt
sensitive ears; when we walked into a restaurant
as noisy as church, we marched right out, here
we stayed in the company of Pharisees
I cried in the shop afterwards, seeing my reflection
in sharp mirrors, looking as ugly as sin, drying tears
surreptitiously as I had no energy left with which to
face your censure; then you started Tiaan’s urgent
school project; I washed the dishes singing
‘We had joy we had fUn, we had seasons in the sUn’
reflecting that I wanted eternity and could not stand
anything temporary, made up Afrikaans words ‘PrEt
kan jy wEd en my buurman is ‘n TjEgg, meisies op
my kErf, versamel in my Erf met geen goue gErf…’
Tiaan told me NEVER to sing these words in public
as people would throw me in prison on hearing this
sacrilege; you took Tiaan through his cell-phone
information project, contracts, pre-paid costs, I
sang satires of well-known songs until
You insisted on silence because you needed to think,
I fell silent; my fantasies of finding acceptance dying
on all fronts and it is GOOD to have it this way, this
world is only temporary, in the never-ending spirals
of infinity I shall meet with mad-caps like me
We shall have my kind of silly fun without there being
anyone else, Lobsang Rampa said we would only meet
with those in the same vibratory range we are our-
selves, that excludes everyone I know…
TRANSLATION:
‘PrEt kan jy wEd en my buurman is ‘n TjEgg, meisies
op my kErf, versamel in my Erf , geen goue gErf…’
“Fun without End, you can bEt, my neighbour is a CzEch
all the girls on my list is assembled in my yArd I have no
golden hArvest… "
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Concept Of Magic
I cleaned the study today, took down the mirror with
fairies and washed them, the sweet pink fairy whose
legs were broken till she became a symbol of all those
broken thus, then growing stronger and more beautiful
as her legs were glued back on and decorated with glitter
so she shines in delight
The Fuchia fairy who lost one leg, I hung purple beads
in its place, now he also looks beautiful - two miniature
mermaids in blue, tried to add two bigger figurines - but
it was too overwhelming, the mirror and fairies are happy
I also feel renewed, filled with dreams of bright sunshine
and swimming in the sea
My book* is lovely, the hurricane trying to blow away
Unexpected School while a wizard is stowing the world
in his head, the pupils never learn maths and science -
though quantum physics would be the best wizardry ever
adding infinite quantum phenomena would enlarge their
concept and range of magic
Time to stop dreaming and start work...
href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiM50qyoEah-mKj1iJUE60Nwk8AJBgvm9V7-JOlPbxLnrCIRX0g6pZ-lPBxWH7Eqam5cfXRs8ljTyoSkxGRWf3abdBX553EIy9z9beVsaFqS1pCg2G78QgK8cAdRnLCHAE51fPtmzGeOc/s1600/Nicibeeldjies.JPG">
*The Blood-and-Thunder Adventure on Hurricane Peak
by Margaret Mahy
Friday, August 27, 2010
Please Other People
Chemical depression – as long as I hide it well
I cried upon finishing my book, left in this world
without the author’s gaze to keep me safe; cried
again upon being forced to agree with everything
you said, I am not a good mother nor nurturer you
claimed; easier to accept your verdict than incur
your wrath by insisting upon contrary facts
After sobbing my way through the dishes, I am quiet
and resigned, this time belongs to me, free to start the
next book - but giving up a chamber group, an author-
mother and a loving world where taxi-drivers get out and
help, where a world-famous violinist plays outside the
conservatory to augment his salary, where frogs are
named according to characteristics – is not easy
I am heart-broken on letting go of this fictional world in which
I felt safe and content, in which characters loved and sang in
the way I always do – now I am back in a place where nobody
cares about the things that make me cry for joy and pain; it is
better this way - as long as I follow rules, being consistent in
what I do and say, hiding feelings as best I might - I am safe,
rules show us how to please other people, stay out of trouble
Rules create a mask behind which we learn to hide so nobody
can hurt us too much; the more rules, the safer we are, as long
as we create the impression of following rules, no-one expects
us to be real because they have to be false themselves…
I cried upon finishing my book, left in this world
without the author’s gaze to keep me safe; cried
again upon being forced to agree with everything
you said, I am not a good mother nor nurturer you
claimed; easier to accept your verdict than incur
your wrath by insisting upon contrary facts
After sobbing my way through the dishes, I am quiet
and resigned, this time belongs to me, free to start the
next book - but giving up a chamber group, an author-
mother and a loving world where taxi-drivers get out and
help, where a world-famous violinist plays outside the
conservatory to augment his salary, where frogs are
named according to characteristics – is not easy
I am heart-broken on letting go of this fictional world in which
I felt safe and content, in which characters loved and sang in
the way I always do – now I am back in a place where nobody
cares about the things that make me cry for joy and pain; it is
better this way - as long as I follow rules, being consistent in
what I do and say, hiding feelings as best I might - I am safe,
rules show us how to please other people, stay out of trouble
Rules create a mask behind which we learn to hide so nobody
can hurt us too much; the more rules, the safer we are, as long
as we create the impression of following rules, no-one expects
us to be real because they have to be false themselves…
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Magical Scientific Discovery
Looked at the projects of pupils at the Science
Expo in mesmerized wonderment, they read all the
esoteric Internet sites and summarized the details
One boy won a gold award for his project on vibrations
and sound, explaining with pictures and personal notes
that ancient Hebrew and Sanskrit were proven to be
sacred languages by a voice pronouncing their sound
through a tonoscope, forming sand spread on a vibrating
material into their written form; the boy replicated
experiments by looking at patterns forming in salt spread
on tight plastic set into vibration by the right Hertz volume
of sound off-loaded from the Internet, he made his own
drawings of the oscillation patterns he saw; explaining how
the three-dimensional forms we know came about; I can only
marvel at such discoveries in epiphanies of feelings
Cannot replicate scientific experiments, nor follow prescribed
rules for objective presentation, I can only exult in odes with
hallelujahs and exclamation marks to express overflowing
emotions; poets disliking modern science do not read poems
about it while scientists disliking descriptions of feelings in
poetry do not read it also, I sing my song of praise
all by myself, Hail Jenny’s Tonoscope, Hail Chladni, Hail
Quantum Physics, Hail Enthusiastic Young Pupils, Hail
Magical World of Scientific Discovery
Expo in mesmerized wonderment, they read all the
esoteric Internet sites and summarized the details
One boy won a gold award for his project on vibrations
and sound, explaining with pictures and personal notes
that ancient Hebrew and Sanskrit were proven to be
sacred languages by a voice pronouncing their sound
through a tonoscope, forming sand spread on a vibrating
material into their written form; the boy replicated
experiments by looking at patterns forming in salt spread
on tight plastic set into vibration by the right Hertz volume
of sound off-loaded from the Internet, he made his own
drawings of the oscillation patterns he saw; explaining how
the three-dimensional forms we know came about; I can only
marvel at such discoveries in epiphanies of feelings
Cannot replicate scientific experiments, nor follow prescribed
rules for objective presentation, I can only exult in odes with
hallelujahs and exclamation marks to express overflowing
emotions; poets disliking modern science do not read poems
about it while scientists disliking descriptions of feelings in
poetry do not read it also, I sing my song of praise
all by myself, Hail Jenny’s Tonoscope, Hail Chladni, Hail
Quantum Physics, Hail Enthusiastic Young Pupils, Hail
Magical World of Scientific Discovery
Cinnamon in Ground Coffee
Enraptured within the golden bauble encapsulating
me and my storybook, adding salt to the emaciated
bacon prepared with a secret recipe to destroy all
taste, burying the yellow sponge camouflaged as
scrambled eggs in layers of salt to muffle the
outrage experienced by my taste buds
I read the protagonist’s frogs where taken to the
workroom of his friend’s author mom who liked
them so much since she could recognize their
individual personalities, when she typed they
kept quiet, when she read her lines aloud
their eyes were fastened on her face
The taxi-driver who brought them fixed the leaking
tap and taught the author-mother to add cinnamon
to the ground coffee, I am ecstatic, after explaining
all this to the smiling manager he wants to know
what music I like, Mozart of course, he recom-
mends listening to Anna Davel and I agree
While comfortably enveloped in the joyful golden
light of my enchanting story…
"The Facts and Fictions of Minna Pratt" - Patricia
MacLachlan
me and my storybook, adding salt to the emaciated
bacon prepared with a secret recipe to destroy all
taste, burying the yellow sponge camouflaged as
scrambled eggs in layers of salt to muffle the
outrage experienced by my taste buds
I read the protagonist’s frogs where taken to the
workroom of his friend’s author mom who liked
them so much since she could recognize their
individual personalities, when she typed they
kept quiet, when she read her lines aloud
their eyes were fastened on her face
The taxi-driver who brought them fixed the leaking
tap and taught the author-mother to add cinnamon
to the ground coffee, I am ecstatic, after explaining
all this to the smiling manager he wants to know
what music I like, Mozart of course, he recom-
mends listening to Anna Davel and I agree
While comfortably enveloped in the joyful golden
light of my enchanting story…
"The Facts and Fictions of Minna Pratt" - Patricia
MacLachlan
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Electrical Storm of Emotions
Last night I deferred continuing my book to stay
within the golden-warm universe created by the
author making her protagonist holding his nose
to increase his intelligence
Upon hearing him say so, a whole bus–load of people
followed suit, I want to treasure this picture, delightful
joyous, funny; in my mind’s eye, not reading on until I
have exhausted every enchanting feeling
Unleashed by this marvelous scene, accompanied by
a second image: A music group playing Mozart, each
student facing away from each other for concentration
making music so divine their teacher
Smiled a beautific smile, enough to put even McGonagall
to shame for want of a descriptive term and then the best
scene of all: The father singing to his glasses and books,
the way I always sing to the dishes in the kitchen
And the clothes in the cupboard and the face in the mirror
that keeps changing every day so I can never say I know
who she is or I am, it depends on my mood, the electrical
storm of emotions is so overpowering
It changes me completely and all my ideas change con-
comitantly, voilá, I am a new person; now to get to know
the new me, I had better write down my ideas and see
what is it I feel…
within the golden-warm universe created by the
author making her protagonist holding his nose
to increase his intelligence
Upon hearing him say so, a whole bus–load of people
followed suit, I want to treasure this picture, delightful
joyous, funny; in my mind’s eye, not reading on until I
have exhausted every enchanting feeling
Unleashed by this marvelous scene, accompanied by
a second image: A music group playing Mozart, each
student facing away from each other for concentration
making music so divine their teacher
Smiled a beautific smile, enough to put even McGonagall
to shame for want of a descriptive term and then the best
scene of all: The father singing to his glasses and books,
the way I always sing to the dishes in the kitchen
And the clothes in the cupboard and the face in the mirror
that keeps changing every day so I can never say I know
who she is or I am, it depends on my mood, the electrical
storm of emotions is so overpowering
It changes me completely and all my ideas change con-
comitantly, voilá, I am a new person; now to get to know
the new me, I had better write down my ideas and see
what is it I feel…
“Does Moisten his Eye”
Once again I turned to that dour, but so funny,
self-assured Scotchman, the morally pure and
lovable William Topaz McGonagall, to breathe
in the rarified air of his own personal universe
where 'angels glare with love-beaming eyes' and
he gazed upon the beautiful moon until 'a tear
of joy does moisten his eye' and Hanlie and I
burst out laughing ourselves
I am glaring at my rowdy colleagues with love-
beaming eyes, especially those who fill the day
with interminable gales of laughter until it feels
as if the tornado from Hurricane Peak is blowing
through the open-plan office and I get caught in
the tourbillons in my mind, whirling and whirling
in a maelstrom of thoughts; you said, a sparkle
in your eye, I could not write a poem
When I am happy, maybe you should cancel the
visit to my dad so I can be sad and then I should
be able to write a striking piece carried on wings
of sorrow, I assured you I can bear with the pain
of not writing rhymes on little themes as long as
we are going to visit my dad, and thank you, now
I am glaring at you with love-beaming eyes also…
self-assured Scotchman, the morally pure and
lovable William Topaz McGonagall, to breathe
in the rarified air of his own personal universe
where 'angels glare with love-beaming eyes' and
he gazed upon the beautiful moon until 'a tear
of joy does moisten his eye' and Hanlie and I
burst out laughing ourselves
I am glaring at my rowdy colleagues with love-
beaming eyes, especially those who fill the day
with interminable gales of laughter until it feels
as if the tornado from Hurricane Peak is blowing
through the open-plan office and I get caught in
the tourbillons in my mind, whirling and whirling
in a maelstrom of thoughts; you said, a sparkle
in your eye, I could not write a poem
When I am happy, maybe you should cancel the
visit to my dad so I can be sad and then I should
be able to write a striking piece carried on wings
of sorrow, I assured you I can bear with the pain
of not writing rhymes on little themes as long as
we are going to visit my dad, and thank you, now
I am glaring at you with love-beaming eyes also…
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Age of the Bookworm
Since the rules of etiquette and protocol stipulate thou
shalt not discuss the book thou readeth, or any other
interesting subject with thy neighbour since these kind
neighbours want to discuss their practical life, the price
of oil, food and fuel, the content of breakfast and kids
blood pressure, heart attacks and such
I have turned to strangers to share my wonderful books
with them as no rules of protocol can prescribe what kind
of conversation is applicable when dealing with complete
aliens, the waitress in the Wimpy, the youthful manager
softly smiling, everyone in the lift with me, I share the
detail of my wonderful book with them because
There are no rules insisting we ask How Are You, I owe
them nothing in terms of good manners and they owe me
less in terms of appreciation, their enthusiasm is free and
their delight in hearing my story is precious because it is
entirely unselfish, as far as I go I explain to all and sundry
how my book unfolds like chiselled pearls
Strung in a perfect row, so beautifully matched they resemble
Indra’s heaven by each one reflecting the rest, the age of the
Internet should be known as the age of the Bookworm, the
proliferation of information, freedom of access, make it a
true paradise just as I dreamt when I was small, a place
where the fount of new ideas never run dry
A place where innovation in music, stories, forms, theories
and dreams are infinite and inexhaustible…
shalt not discuss the book thou readeth, or any other
interesting subject with thy neighbour since these kind
neighbours want to discuss their practical life, the price
of oil, food and fuel, the content of breakfast and kids
blood pressure, heart attacks and such
I have turned to strangers to share my wonderful books
with them as no rules of protocol can prescribe what kind
of conversation is applicable when dealing with complete
aliens, the waitress in the Wimpy, the youthful manager
softly smiling, everyone in the lift with me, I share the
detail of my wonderful book with them because
There are no rules insisting we ask How Are You, I owe
them nothing in terms of good manners and they owe me
less in terms of appreciation, their enthusiasm is free and
their delight in hearing my story is precious because it is
entirely unselfish, as far as I go I explain to all and sundry
how my book unfolds like chiselled pearls
Strung in a perfect row, so beautifully matched they resemble
Indra’s heaven by each one reflecting the rest, the age of the
Internet should be known as the age of the Bookworm, the
proliferation of information, freedom of access, make it a
true paradise just as I dreamt when I was small, a place
where the fount of new ideas never run dry
A place where innovation in music, stories, forms, theories
and dreams are infinite and inexhaustible…
Vreuge En Vrede
Begin vanaand lees ‘Meintjie Betaal Skoolgeld’
deur Minnie Postma, gedruk deur Van Schaik in
1957; my hart brand, my hart brand, om weer te
lees van die Boereoorlog, van kampe en boere-
gevangenes op Ceylon
Meintjie wat deur swaarkry so ernstig was, haar
boetie Driegman en tant Makkie haar ma, van
swaarkry en die Bybel in Hollands lees, van die
kinders wat Meintjie altyd uitlag; my hart brand,
my eie mense wat so moes sukkel
Dis moeilik om weer deur die ou geskiedenis te
waad; ek hou van Meintjie, ‘n regte klein kordaat
haar erns en stryd om mens te wees, alhoewel ek
meer warmte soek as wat Minnie Postma kan
gee, wil ek weer my jeugboek lees
Dit vat my weg van swaarmoedige gedagtes wat
my bedruk omdat die maan volrond skyn en ek
die ou, ou pyn onthou; volgens Theosofie, as ek
die mooiste gevoelens bedink, sal my hart blom
met skoonheid soos Micheal Ende
Dit beskryf in sy boek ‘Momo’ waar ‘ n nuwe roos
in elke uur ontvou, die nuutste altyd skooner en
mooier as die vorige een, die seerplekke aan my
hart maak my beter en sterker, uit elke litteken
en wond borrel meer vreugde as vantevore
Pyn is nodig om meer plek te maak vir die
wonderlikste vreuge en vrede...
‘Meintjie betaal skoolgeld’ – Minnie Postma, JL Van
Schaik Beperk, Pretoria, 1957
‘Momo’ – Michael Ende (Author of the ‘Neverending
Story’)
deur Minnie Postma, gedruk deur Van Schaik in
1957; my hart brand, my hart brand, om weer te
lees van die Boereoorlog, van kampe en boere-
gevangenes op Ceylon
Meintjie wat deur swaarkry so ernstig was, haar
boetie Driegman en tant Makkie haar ma, van
swaarkry en die Bybel in Hollands lees, van die
kinders wat Meintjie altyd uitlag; my hart brand,
my eie mense wat so moes sukkel
Dis moeilik om weer deur die ou geskiedenis te
waad; ek hou van Meintjie, ‘n regte klein kordaat
haar erns en stryd om mens te wees, alhoewel ek
meer warmte soek as wat Minnie Postma kan
gee, wil ek weer my jeugboek lees
Dit vat my weg van swaarmoedige gedagtes wat
my bedruk omdat die maan volrond skyn en ek
die ou, ou pyn onthou; volgens Theosofie, as ek
die mooiste gevoelens bedink, sal my hart blom
met skoonheid soos Micheal Ende
Dit beskryf in sy boek ‘Momo’ waar ‘ n nuwe roos
in elke uur ontvou, die nuutste altyd skooner en
mooier as die vorige een, die seerplekke aan my
hart maak my beter en sterker, uit elke litteken
en wond borrel meer vreugde as vantevore
Pyn is nodig om meer plek te maak vir die
wonderlikste vreuge en vrede...
‘Meintjie betaal skoolgeld’ – Minnie Postma, JL Van
Schaik Beperk, Pretoria, 1957
‘Momo’ – Michael Ende (Author of the ‘Neverending
Story’)
Trusty Steed: Imposing Jeep
Discovering and using the Jeep’s capacity
when a taxi stops unexpectedly, I accelerate
and overtake, too bad about oncoming traffic
either they make space or pay the price
First taking Nici on a shoe-hunting expedition
then driving off to collect Tiaan after cricket
Hi-Ho Silver my trusty steed an imposing Jeep
charging every robot changing colours
Like a mad bull seeing red, dare-devil driving, chal-
lenging everyone who slows down, I hate them with
a passion I can’t explain, how dare they slow down
in front of me, wish I could force them from the road
Wish I could blow them apart, all these boring, careful
people changing the wonder of life into a drag, I would
gladly blow all virtuous people apart, myself included,
for a bit of freedom, life is useless, do you hear
Useless when it can’t contain excitement, I should have
died on the day I was born, and so should most others…
when a taxi stops unexpectedly, I accelerate
and overtake, too bad about oncoming traffic
either they make space or pay the price
First taking Nici on a shoe-hunting expedition
then driving off to collect Tiaan after cricket
Hi-Ho Silver my trusty steed an imposing Jeep
charging every robot changing colours
Like a mad bull seeing red, dare-devil driving, chal-
lenging everyone who slows down, I hate them with
a passion I can’t explain, how dare they slow down
in front of me, wish I could force them from the road
Wish I could blow them apart, all these boring, careful
people changing the wonder of life into a drag, I would
gladly blow all virtuous people apart, myself included,
for a bit of freedom, life is useless, do you hear
Useless when it can’t contain excitement, I should have
died on the day I was born, and so should most others…
Monday, August 23, 2010
Recreate The World
I dislike a traffic circle immensely, hopping in, hopping
out, I never know where to be or when to charge, what
to do, had to pass two yesterday, after waiting an hour
in the cold, hungry, already past twilight, could not see
Charged in helter-skelter, first right in front of a taxi and
shocked I missed the turn into Queen Wilhelmina; drove
the long way round, second circle in front of another car
angry driver; jittery with hunger I could not think straight
Darkness and despair closing round me, told you of my
mishaps, you got angry, as soon as I changed my story
explaining actually I could see very well, it was only cold
and being hungry that led to my mistakes, you were calm
It is my job to transform the world for me, not for you, if
sharing my ideas get you all upset, creating a negative
atmosphere, I shall tell you an uplifting magical tale, we
are free to recreate the world into an enchanting place
If you insist on conditions for happiness, we can change
reality - Time for the dark Elend of my document, I shall
escape as soon as I have done enough to relay the misery
of an individual who never planned her life…
out, I never know where to be or when to charge, what
to do, had to pass two yesterday, after waiting an hour
in the cold, hungry, already past twilight, could not see
Charged in helter-skelter, first right in front of a taxi and
shocked I missed the turn into Queen Wilhelmina; drove
the long way round, second circle in front of another car
angry driver; jittery with hunger I could not think straight
Darkness and despair closing round me, told you of my
mishaps, you got angry, as soon as I changed my story
explaining actually I could see very well, it was only cold
and being hungry that led to my mistakes, you were calm
It is my job to transform the world for me, not for you, if
sharing my ideas get you all upset, creating a negative
atmosphere, I shall tell you an uplifting magical tale, we
are free to recreate the world into an enchanting place
If you insist on conditions for happiness, we can change
reality - Time for the dark Elend of my document, I shall
escape as soon as I have done enough to relay the misery
of an individual who never planned her life…
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Being Loved
I sometimes wish I had your animal magnetism,
reading on the couch, two warm dogs nestling
next to me, a sweet sleeping dog face on every
side, making me feel comforted – and it was only
because you had gone to bed, when you are here
nobody else stands a chance, all animals flock to
you, I am convinced you exude a kind of magic
I have been looking for dreams all over, seeking
comfort against dark thoughts, and you are just
happy sitting and breathing and being loved, even
wild animals like hyenas and birds come to you
unbidden, you can touch them without flinching,
and I madly look for the inner peace and calm
that is natural to you; I am one of the animals
I am also drawn to your side, you enchant and
delight by your being, your total joy in existence,
your refusal to enter lies and deceit, the warmth
of your trust and love – and look, once again I
have deserted the dogs to type a poem about
you instead of staying with them on the couch,
I have too much to say, think too many things
Maybe this is the reason I found you, without a
searching mind I would not have discovered your
magnetism and sweet love, though I wish I were
like you, two of a kind might have been too much,
me being an airy dreamer and creator of visions
might be just the right one for you, you being the
root that supports my soap-bubble thoughts
Keeping my body alive so my spirit can soar and
bring back so much more to enrich our lives…
reading on the couch, two warm dogs nestling
next to me, a sweet sleeping dog face on every
side, making me feel comforted – and it was only
because you had gone to bed, when you are here
nobody else stands a chance, all animals flock to
you, I am convinced you exude a kind of magic
I have been looking for dreams all over, seeking
comfort against dark thoughts, and you are just
happy sitting and breathing and being loved, even
wild animals like hyenas and birds come to you
unbidden, you can touch them without flinching,
and I madly look for the inner peace and calm
that is natural to you; I am one of the animals
I am also drawn to your side, you enchant and
delight by your being, your total joy in existence,
your refusal to enter lies and deceit, the warmth
of your trust and love – and look, once again I
have deserted the dogs to type a poem about
you instead of staying with them on the couch,
I have too much to say, think too many things
Maybe this is the reason I found you, without a
searching mind I would not have discovered your
magnetism and sweet love, though I wish I were
like you, two of a kind might have been too much,
me being an airy dreamer and creator of visions
might be just the right one for you, you being the
root that supports my soap-bubble thoughts
Keeping my body alive so my spirit can soar and
bring back so much more to enrich our lives…
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Exult in Exalted Position
I did so well today, reading about Theosophy
then the Expo, I looked around, you called me
away as I was talking to young enthusiasts
about Membrane and String Theory
Your botched title only got you a bronze for a
project meriting silver; I dozed in the sun for as
long as I could before tackling my documents - all
being so tragic and strange
A lady without a room asking the President to
give her one; a man with a common-law-wife who
lost his job and did harm to his stepson - You driving
to and from the Expo - watching painful rugby on TV
Why do people allow life to happen to them - cannot
they read and see that having a common-law-wife
without a fixed job is dangerous, cannot they com-
pute that bearing ten children without an income
Is bound to lead to hunger and suffering, cannot people
decide to have no more kids if they cannot provide for
them; are they like animals – NO, animals never bear
young ones when they cannot provide
Only humans procreate without an eye towards the
future: we are LOWER than animals, religionists love
to exult in mankind’s exalted position as crown of creation
while at the same time deploring man’s base nature
Procreation without any future envisioned for the offspring -
why do we think life without planning is worthwhile – it is not,
yet people still carry on as if there were no tomorrow…
then the Expo, I looked around, you called me
away as I was talking to young enthusiasts
about Membrane and String Theory
Your botched title only got you a bronze for a
project meriting silver; I dozed in the sun for as
long as I could before tackling my documents - all
being so tragic and strange
A lady without a room asking the President to
give her one; a man with a common-law-wife who
lost his job and did harm to his stepson - You driving
to and from the Expo - watching painful rugby on TV
Why do people allow life to happen to them - cannot
they read and see that having a common-law-wife
without a fixed job is dangerous, cannot they com-
pute that bearing ten children without an income
Is bound to lead to hunger and suffering, cannot people
decide to have no more kids if they cannot provide for
them; are they like animals – NO, animals never bear
young ones when they cannot provide
Only humans procreate without an eye towards the
future: we are LOWER than animals, religionists love
to exult in mankind’s exalted position as crown of creation
while at the same time deploring man’s base nature
Procreation without any future envisioned for the offspring -
why do we think life without planning is worthwhile – it is not,
yet people still carry on as if there were no tomorrow…
Friday, August 20, 2010
In a Vision
A professional dressmaker - reams of evening
dresses, roses, all kinds of flowers, corsets with
fairy scenes, glitter and butterflies; will ask her to
create such a scene on a pair of wings - to bring
me a colourful spring for an aura sublime
A mermaid’s green and blue dress with shiny beads
like sunlight reflecting on watery pebbles, silver on
rose pink and long blue water nymph tunics, a short
brown tiered skirt for a garden gnome and a long
black dress for the Queen of the Night
I am entranced, seeing the magical scenes I always
paste on my computer screen created in expensive
fabrics, one pair of wings for my bedroom and an-
other for my office work station, I would add in-
cense and perfume to them
Staring at them endlessly, off in a dream, wafting
about in a vision…
Floating About
I realize, reading my book standing in line,
the same facts are presented in all uplifting
material we come across, from religious to
spiritual to philosophy, from psychology and
history to children’s stories and fairy tales
The essential message is the magic is in us
when we decide to make free choices instead
of waiting for life to happen to us, I am amused
because the source and presentation determine
how we react to this basic information
When we come across this recommendation in
heavy religious tomes a lot of us turn away, when
read in sour philosophy texts we feel depressed,
but when presented in a spiritual context or more
aptly, in an illustrated children’s book
Some like me drink in the magical message and
apply it with immediate results, security guards
laughing like the sun coming up, café owners
presenting with sky-blue eyes, other drivers
giving way when I charge by full speed
Although Colin Wilson and Pragmatists point this
out and call it higher consciousness, their words
do not make a lasting impression, but when Alice
in Wonderland and Frances Hodgson Burnett
present the same message
My spirit rises from my body and enjoys floating
about in the air, filled with the delight of knowing
itself as magnetic electricity manifesting in an
illusionary physical body in a beautiful play
scripted together with so many others…
the same facts are presented in all uplifting
material we come across, from religious to
spiritual to philosophy, from psychology and
history to children’s stories and fairy tales
The essential message is the magic is in us
when we decide to make free choices instead
of waiting for life to happen to us, I am amused
because the source and presentation determine
how we react to this basic information
When we come across this recommendation in
heavy religious tomes a lot of us turn away, when
read in sour philosophy texts we feel depressed,
but when presented in a spiritual context or more
aptly, in an illustrated children’s book
Some like me drink in the magical message and
apply it with immediate results, security guards
laughing like the sun coming up, café owners
presenting with sky-blue eyes, other drivers
giving way when I charge by full speed
Although Colin Wilson and Pragmatists point this
out and call it higher consciousness, their words
do not make a lasting impression, but when Alice
in Wonderland and Frances Hodgson Burnett
present the same message
My spirit rises from my body and enjoys floating
about in the air, filled with the delight of knowing
itself as magnetic electricity manifesting in an
illusionary physical body in a beautiful play
scripted together with so many others…
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Light-Hearted Bantering
Started reading the Facts and fictions of
Minna Pratt this morning, every sentence
like a beautiful pearl, refined and polished,
from Minna reflecting on her only life making
me wonder why I always have a myriad myself
To her desire for a vibrato on her cello, here we
are the same, I always dream of a Jenny Lind
voice when singing, to her fear of boredom should
she run out of people to talk to and things to count,
I mostly fear lack of books and new melodies
Reading and dreaming is so much easier than
analysing the confounding intrigues of a long-
winded account of criminals who pulled a James
Bond on one each other without showing the reader
the exciting action and faces of all concerned
Though as I read I can see Sean Connery haughtily
descending on them and condescendingly blowing
their Goldfinger-type organisation apart while making
ironic comments, meaningless in their light-hearted
bantering tone and unruffled self-confidence
Away, away, let me return to the fray, I cannot reflect
and reminiscence all day, let me back to the text where
every second sentence confuses my brain and cripples
my mind, still entranced by Chris Riddell’s Ottoline and
the Yellow Cat with its lovely illustrations…
Minna Pratt this morning, every sentence
like a beautiful pearl, refined and polished,
from Minna reflecting on her only life making
me wonder why I always have a myriad myself
To her desire for a vibrato on her cello, here we
are the same, I always dream of a Jenny Lind
voice when singing, to her fear of boredom should
she run out of people to talk to and things to count,
I mostly fear lack of books and new melodies
Reading and dreaming is so much easier than
analysing the confounding intrigues of a long-
winded account of criminals who pulled a James
Bond on one each other without showing the reader
the exciting action and faces of all concerned
Though as I read I can see Sean Connery haughtily
descending on them and condescendingly blowing
their Goldfinger-type organisation apart while making
ironic comments, meaningless in their light-hearted
bantering tone and unruffled self-confidence
Away, away, let me return to the fray, I cannot reflect
and reminiscence all day, let me back to the text where
every second sentence confuses my brain and cripples
my mind, still entranced by Chris Riddell’s Ottoline and
the Yellow Cat with its lovely illustrations…
A Wonderful Whole
The best thing you can do for those you love
is to be happy, the worst thing you can do is
to be unhappy, and then ask them to try and
change it when there is nothing that anybody
can do that will make you happy
A catch 22 situation, force them to be responsible
for the impossible and then blame them for failing,
blame them for not being happy in your own mind
and imagination, a perfect recipe for failure to be
applied in any relationship
First become happy in yourself, then share this with
others, do not pause at the side of those who insist
on being unhappy for whatever obscure or obvious
reasons, they will blame YOU for failing to entertain
and amuse them, not lifting the blue
Join those who are happy and joyous, romp and laugh
with them, appreciate physical life as a short-lived gift
that will be replaced with something else before you
have had enough of sunshine and rain, laughter and
physical pain: enjoy life as a game
Never blame anyone but yourself for the reaction you
feel as life unfolds, you are in control of the thoughts
you choose to think and the feelings evoked by the
lines in your mind - I am not good at this game but
I can feel that it works from time to time
I hang on to books in which the protagonists apply this
advice to create a beautiful world of wonderful delight
and charm, when failing in my own little life I turn to the
alternative place of courage and hope, it always helps
in the end, however long it might take
Just one person turning away from sadness and pain and
joining me in happy sunshine adds a sparkling dimension
to life that lifts my soul from self-doubt into the realms of
the self-confident - when we become responsible and
completely independent, we find everyone
Being so charming and talented, good-natured and sweet,
there is no choosing a favourite amongst them, beautiful
souls congregate in a wonderful whole, united in one
consciousness for eternity…
is to be happy, the worst thing you can do is
to be unhappy, and then ask them to try and
change it when there is nothing that anybody
can do that will make you happy
A catch 22 situation, force them to be responsible
for the impossible and then blame them for failing,
blame them for not being happy in your own mind
and imagination, a perfect recipe for failure to be
applied in any relationship
First become happy in yourself, then share this with
others, do not pause at the side of those who insist
on being unhappy for whatever obscure or obvious
reasons, they will blame YOU for failing to entertain
and amuse them, not lifting the blue
Join those who are happy and joyous, romp and laugh
with them, appreciate physical life as a short-lived gift
that will be replaced with something else before you
have had enough of sunshine and rain, laughter and
physical pain: enjoy life as a game
Never blame anyone but yourself for the reaction you
feel as life unfolds, you are in control of the thoughts
you choose to think and the feelings evoked by the
lines in your mind - I am not good at this game but
I can feel that it works from time to time
I hang on to books in which the protagonists apply this
advice to create a beautiful world of wonderful delight
and charm, when failing in my own little life I turn to the
alternative place of courage and hope, it always helps
in the end, however long it might take
Just one person turning away from sadness and pain and
joining me in happy sunshine adds a sparkling dimension
to life that lifts my soul from self-doubt into the realms of
the self-confident - when we become responsible and
completely independent, we find everyone
Being so charming and talented, good-natured and sweet,
there is no choosing a favourite amongst them, beautiful
souls congregate in a wonderful whole, united in one
consciousness for eternity…
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Fantasy Lines of Delight
Also, einverstanden, alle zusammen: our dachshund
is called Bruno, I willingly give up Schumi for this, he
looks like an angel and slept in my lap, I read a book
Ottoline and the Yellow Cat by Chris Riddell which
framed life in fantasy lines of delight
Nici superciliously looks down her nose at my illustrated
tale about a little girl who never wears matching shoes,
plays in puddles and writes down riddles while solving
crimes, I also found Margaret Mahy’s Blood-and-
Thunder Adventure on Hurricane Peak
And The facts and fictions of Minna Pratt by Patricia Mac-
Lachlan, it made me feel secure until you brought a new
GPS home - which also reads ebooks saved in Wordpad
imagine listening to Hamlet’s Mill instead of Daan Retief’s
languid Staal Burger charm while driving
I’m quite overcome, a GPS scares me, a touch-screen is
a threat, now it can even play music and read us stories;
how to master new technology step by step, I’m terrified
and elated at the same time, to get through the daunting
Hamlet’s Mill in this way would be great
But it is late and I only translated three letters today, must
sink down to earth and start working again - listening to a
book being read should be easier than reading on-line -
I miss the intimacy of a book held in my palms…
is called Bruno, I willingly give up Schumi for this, he
looks like an angel and slept in my lap, I read a book
Ottoline and the Yellow Cat by Chris Riddell which
framed life in fantasy lines of delight
Nici superciliously looks down her nose at my illustrated
tale about a little girl who never wears matching shoes,
plays in puddles and writes down riddles while solving
crimes, I also found Margaret Mahy’s Blood-and-
Thunder Adventure on Hurricane Peak
And The facts and fictions of Minna Pratt by Patricia Mac-
Lachlan, it made me feel secure until you brought a new
GPS home - which also reads ebooks saved in Wordpad
imagine listening to Hamlet’s Mill instead of Daan Retief’s
languid Staal Burger charm while driving
I’m quite overcome, a GPS scares me, a touch-screen is
a threat, now it can even play music and read us stories;
how to master new technology step by step, I’m terrified
and elated at the same time, to get through the daunting
Hamlet’s Mill in this way would be great
But it is late and I only translated three letters today, must
sink down to earth and start working again - listening to a
book being read should be easier than reading on-line -
I miss the intimacy of a book held in my palms…
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Lodestar in the Mahabharata
After a great evening, lying on the couch watching
TV, dancing to the Calypso music of UB40 for pure
joie de vivre, I got into bed, but a sore back would
not let me sleep, after curling up on the too small
couch, my back is bent, I have to sit up straight
now to work on my theory that I can ‘flash’ as my
favourite TV character does when the computer in
his brain enables him to master any technique, I can
sometimes dance with wild abandon, speak French
with aplomb when helping someone, but in class
when I want to impress I can’t string a sentence or use
any terms correctly - I cannot flash on demand - Henry
Higgins would have committed hara-kiri if he were to
teach me elocution, one day my pronunciation is fine
while the next it is far below par - these ‘flashes’
are triggered by factors beyond my control, even work
is subject to surges of happiness, dreams, fear, shock,
shame, playing games and self-confidence, as long as
my mind is filled with uplifting thoughts I can do many
things; once barbed-wire feelings appear
threatening my fragile self- concept, even though it is
safely enclosed within concrete decisions - I lose the
ability to act with competence, not being able to rely
on myself I always seek a lodestar and found
one in the Mahabharata, strangely enough…
TV, dancing to the Calypso music of UB40 for pure
joie de vivre, I got into bed, but a sore back would
not let me sleep, after curling up on the too small
couch, my back is bent, I have to sit up straight
now to work on my theory that I can ‘flash’ as my
favourite TV character does when the computer in
his brain enables him to master any technique, I can
sometimes dance with wild abandon, speak French
with aplomb when helping someone, but in class
when I want to impress I can’t string a sentence or use
any terms correctly - I cannot flash on demand - Henry
Higgins would have committed hara-kiri if he were to
teach me elocution, one day my pronunciation is fine
while the next it is far below par - these ‘flashes’
are triggered by factors beyond my control, even work
is subject to surges of happiness, dreams, fear, shock,
shame, playing games and self-confidence, as long as
my mind is filled with uplifting thoughts I can do many
things; once barbed-wire feelings appear
threatening my fragile self- concept, even though it is
safely enclosed within concrete decisions - I lose the
ability to act with competence, not being able to rely
on myself I always seek a lodestar and found
one in the Mahabharata, strangely enough…
Tunnel-Vision Eyes
I am so thankful I did not become a detective
or police official, as far as I read I come to the
wrong conclusions, working on the premise that
the plaintiff who lodged the complaint is the real
guilty party, why did they have money or products
in the first place, how did they obtain them, why
did they not squirm on squandering their hard-
earned cash or possessions on the so-called
criminals who took off with everything
If the complainants had really worked hard for
their wealth they would not have entrusted their
valuables to the man in the street, if they were really
honest they would not have accepted a criminal’s promise
of easy money made illegally for a small investment; every
murder case I came across would have been given the
Agatha Christie treatment, the most obvious person
would be indicted; I read novels in the same way
making premature assumptions
Luckily my illogical interpretations are limited to
articles and books, I have time to revise my opinion
by reading repeatedly, though I prefer my imaginative
and fanciful conclusions to the subjective interpretations
of other people - we are all brainwashed and prejudiced
to interpret our observations in a prescribed way, I love
to play with alternatives, quite sure this is what Seth
meant when he said that this reality is but one of
innumerable possibilities
I enjoy exploring the probabilities that might have been
or maybe even are realized, but remain invisible to our
tunnel-vision eyes…
or police official, as far as I read I come to the
wrong conclusions, working on the premise that
the plaintiff who lodged the complaint is the real
guilty party, why did they have money or products
in the first place, how did they obtain them, why
did they not squirm on squandering their hard-
earned cash or possessions on the so-called
criminals who took off with everything
If the complainants had really worked hard for
their wealth they would not have entrusted their
valuables to the man in the street, if they were really
honest they would not have accepted a criminal’s promise
of easy money made illegally for a small investment; every
murder case I came across would have been given the
Agatha Christie treatment, the most obvious person
would be indicted; I read novels in the same way
making premature assumptions
Luckily my illogical interpretations are limited to
articles and books, I have time to revise my opinion
by reading repeatedly, though I prefer my imaginative
and fanciful conclusions to the subjective interpretations
of other people - we are all brainwashed and prejudiced
to interpret our observations in a prescribed way, I love
to play with alternatives, quite sure this is what Seth
meant when he said that this reality is but one of
innumerable possibilities
I enjoy exploring the probabilities that might have been
or maybe even are realized, but remain invisible to our
tunnel-vision eyes…
Monday, August 16, 2010
Total Confusion
I am sure my sister has a split personality
just like me, when I called, following the
rules of protocol, repeating her own words
to show I heard what she said previously
She claimed not to know what I was talking
about - Have you solved your accounting
problems, I asked, referring to previous
claims of needing a qualified accountant
To sort out the chaotic system and clients
- Nonsense, she replied, the system has
always been fine, only one client had a
query I sorted myself - Oh, I said,
Dumbfounded, then asked - Why are you going
back to visit the hospital when they have been
nasty, thinking of the superintendent revealing
confidential information
Poppycock, she disdainfully replied, only one
sister was disagreeable, I had no problems
with the rest - in silence I remembered her
claiming that she had to get away
Oh, I floundered, I must have misunderstood -
This is how a lot of our conversations end, total
confusion, she hints we should come visit, but
I do not have a clue who I shall find
Her first, second or third self; I do not know
who I would be, my sanguine, melancholic
or choleric self, only one thing is certain:
whoever we are, we shall clash about
Who said what, where and when…
just like me, when I called, following the
rules of protocol, repeating her own words
to show I heard what she said previously
She claimed not to know what I was talking
about - Have you solved your accounting
problems, I asked, referring to previous
claims of needing a qualified accountant
To sort out the chaotic system and clients
- Nonsense, she replied, the system has
always been fine, only one client had a
query I sorted myself - Oh, I said,
Dumbfounded, then asked - Why are you going
back to visit the hospital when they have been
nasty, thinking of the superintendent revealing
confidential information
Poppycock, she disdainfully replied, only one
sister was disagreeable, I had no problems
with the rest - in silence I remembered her
claiming that she had to get away
Oh, I floundered, I must have misunderstood -
This is how a lot of our conversations end, total
confusion, she hints we should come visit, but
I do not have a clue who I shall find
Her first, second or third self; I do not know
who I would be, my sanguine, melancholic
or choleric self, only one thing is certain:
whoever we are, we shall clash about
Who said what, where and when…
Chronicle my own Demise
I think it was the spinach, too rich and creamy,
damn and blast, I cannot even lie down, my back
is acting up, cannot breathe or think, definitely too
high a price to pay
I HATE eateries that extort an exorbitant fee for every
meal - I have emptied a jar of Vicks on my face in an
attempt at symptomatic relief, the ultimate insult, the
final blow: I cannot read
My lovely book on Theosophy with bright illustrations,
nor conquer the spasms in my back and short-circuiting
brain, I am turning into a hunchback again, heaven and
earth, if I were not
Old and wise I would have thought I was dying with all
these horrible feelings, it is awful to lose control, to be at
the mercy of muscles and misfiring nerves, if I were a nor-
mal person I would have been
Doing my work and not trying to chronicle my own demise,
I am not sorry for myself, just frustrated at forced inactivity,
bored stiff with inability to concentrate and finish translating
the stack of boring letters
Kindly civilians wrote to our long-suffering President telling
him to reform his heathen life, for Pete’s sake, we are ALL
sinners down here on earth, leave the President and his
culture and kids alone
So what if he has four wives, King Solomon in the Bible had
hundreds and a godly being in the Mahabharata had thirteen
thousand, too bad if YOU have only one spouse, I bet he or
she is trouble enough
Rather cast the beam out of thine own eye before looking for
the mote in the President’s eye you Pharisee, stop berating
politicians and clean up your own act for a change!
damn and blast, I cannot even lie down, my back
is acting up, cannot breathe or think, definitely too
high a price to pay
I HATE eateries that extort an exorbitant fee for every
meal - I have emptied a jar of Vicks on my face in an
attempt at symptomatic relief, the ultimate insult, the
final blow: I cannot read
My lovely book on Theosophy with bright illustrations,
nor conquer the spasms in my back and short-circuiting
brain, I am turning into a hunchback again, heaven and
earth, if I were not
Old and wise I would have thought I was dying with all
these horrible feelings, it is awful to lose control, to be at
the mercy of muscles and misfiring nerves, if I were a nor-
mal person I would have been
Doing my work and not trying to chronicle my own demise,
I am not sorry for myself, just frustrated at forced inactivity,
bored stiff with inability to concentrate and finish translating
the stack of boring letters
Kindly civilians wrote to our long-suffering President telling
him to reform his heathen life, for Pete’s sake, we are ALL
sinners down here on earth, leave the President and his
culture and kids alone
So what if he has four wives, King Solomon in the Bible had
hundreds and a godly being in the Mahabharata had thirteen
thousand, too bad if YOU have only one spouse, I bet he or
she is trouble enough
Rather cast the beam out of thine own eye before looking for
the mote in the President’s eye you Pharisee, stop berating
politicians and clean up your own act for a change!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Safe in your Embrace
For the first time in ages we used the time
we had to ourselves, I enjoyed lying in your
lap, a lovely massage, you claimed if you were
an Eskimo in a frozen land your people would
have died out, you do not like to brave the cold
As the weather warms we have some fun, I love
a good back-rub, if I can beat the cat and the dog
to your lap, you are too much in demand, also have
to contend with Nici and Tiaan, if they get there first
I cannot claim my place - at least when we are in bed
I hook my leg over yours and hold you tight, when strange
dreams mar my sleep and I grow scared, you are always
there, the few times we are separate I cannot sleep at all
awake all night as if I had eaten a million slices of bread:
last night Willem brought me nine koeksisters
In a stainless steel glass as the fierce ladies in charge
refused to give him a whole packet for himself – by the
way, they were good, but not as delicious as those made
by grandma Alice – yet I slept well, safe in your embrace:
when I first met you, I thought you were an angel
Today I am even more convinced than before of your super-
natural powers - grandma Alice used to thank you over and
over for taking good care of me, she saw something no-one
else saw: The angelic sign over your face, the bright aura
of your being, she knew without a doubt
You would take care of her granddaughter who needed grandma
Alice to take care of her when she stayed in a flat all by herself -
in the end you took care of my dad also – another person who
thrived under the caring wing of my grandma…
we had to ourselves, I enjoyed lying in your
lap, a lovely massage, you claimed if you were
an Eskimo in a frozen land your people would
have died out, you do not like to brave the cold
As the weather warms we have some fun, I love
a good back-rub, if I can beat the cat and the dog
to your lap, you are too much in demand, also have
to contend with Nici and Tiaan, if they get there first
I cannot claim my place - at least when we are in bed
I hook my leg over yours and hold you tight, when strange
dreams mar my sleep and I grow scared, you are always
there, the few times we are separate I cannot sleep at all
awake all night as if I had eaten a million slices of bread:
last night Willem brought me nine koeksisters
In a stainless steel glass as the fierce ladies in charge
refused to give him a whole packet for himself – by the
way, they were good, but not as delicious as those made
by grandma Alice – yet I slept well, safe in your embrace:
when I first met you, I thought you were an angel
Today I am even more convinced than before of your super-
natural powers - grandma Alice used to thank you over and
over for taking good care of me, she saw something no-one
else saw: The angelic sign over your face, the bright aura
of your being, she knew without a doubt
You would take care of her granddaughter who needed grandma
Alice to take care of her when she stayed in a flat all by herself -
in the end you took care of my dad also – another person who
thrived under the caring wing of my grandma…
Another Family Tradition
When grandma Alice sent me the videos with
classical music you were amused because I
fell asleep listening to them, when Nici was
a baby unable to sleep I played these videos
at night hoping for the same soporific effect,
many a night I spent with her on the carpet
falling asleep myself
Tonight she played those videos again because
she loves the music on them, The Pearl Fishers
by Bizet, and I am surprised, never realized she
would remember the music I played to her then,
I wish Grandma knew how much her gift meant
to Nici and me, but if it is true that her mind is
still alive she already knows
Nici wants to transfer the videos to DVD’s, she
claims she wants to play it to her children one
day, I am gratified, a family tradition has come
about; today we prepared dinner, after using
the Santoku knife you washed it yourself, not
allowing your women to risk our fingers with
it, another family tradition
Yet another of our traditions is when Nici
sees me with something strange, she always
interrogates – What Have You Done? – this
time I explained that the white bow around
my neck was to off-set the black top inhe-
rited from her dad when he burnt a hole
in the back
She rolled her eyes - one of our traditions also,
whether I string dewdrop beads on cobwebs or
wear funny clothes, she just rolls her eyes and
declares she does not want to know more…
classical music you were amused because I
fell asleep listening to them, when Nici was
a baby unable to sleep I played these videos
at night hoping for the same soporific effect,
many a night I spent with her on the carpet
falling asleep myself
Tonight she played those videos again because
she loves the music on them, The Pearl Fishers
by Bizet, and I am surprised, never realized she
would remember the music I played to her then,
I wish Grandma knew how much her gift meant
to Nici and me, but if it is true that her mind is
still alive she already knows
Nici wants to transfer the videos to DVD’s, she
claims she wants to play it to her children one
day, I am gratified, a family tradition has come
about; today we prepared dinner, after using
the Santoku knife you washed it yourself, not
allowing your women to risk our fingers with
it, another family tradition
Yet another of our traditions is when Nici
sees me with something strange, she always
interrogates – What Have You Done? – this
time I explained that the white bow around
my neck was to off-set the black top inhe-
rited from her dad when he burnt a hole
in the back
She rolled her eyes - one of our traditions also,
whether I string dewdrop beads on cobwebs or
wear funny clothes, she just rolls her eyes and
declares she does not want to know more…
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wonderful Bliss
at first I worked in the kitchen, but it was no
fun at all, then I moved to my little school desk,
editing my document, first the movie Dazzle on
DVD for background magic, only watching the
parts where the fairy appeared as I continued
correcting my document
after taking the kids to school to enjoy the venison
feast, the Staal Burger movie on DVD for a different
background, I prefer his CD with radio soundtracks, in
the end, still not finished with my text, I returned to the
calm of André Rieu, a nostalgic Peer Gynt: the strange
new feeling of quiet delight
because my elder brother discovered the enchantment
of fairytales; empowered me to focus on the official job I
brought home from the office - elated that my elder sibling
returned to the land of beauty, the fact that he chose wonder
over cynical despair, is wonderful bliss, my life is lengthened
by thirty years on discovering that he
escaped the scourge of sad ennui that used to make him bitter
and cold, the glow of his new choice fills my heart with infinite
peace, a grace I cannot describe…
fun at all, then I moved to my little school desk,
editing my document, first the movie Dazzle on
DVD for background magic, only watching the
parts where the fairy appeared as I continued
correcting my document
after taking the kids to school to enjoy the venison
feast, the Staal Burger movie on DVD for a different
background, I prefer his CD with radio soundtracks, in
the end, still not finished with my text, I returned to the
calm of André Rieu, a nostalgic Peer Gynt: the strange
new feeling of quiet delight
because my elder brother discovered the enchantment
of fairytales; empowered me to focus on the official job I
brought home from the office - elated that my elder sibling
returned to the land of beauty, the fact that he chose wonder
over cynical despair, is wonderful bliss, my life is lengthened
by thirty years on discovering that he
escaped the scourge of sad ennui that used to make him bitter
and cold, the glow of his new choice fills my heart with infinite
peace, a grace I cannot describe…
Koeksister Heaven
Homemade koeksisters at the venison feast
I have been telling Tiaan and Nici to get me
some while their dad wants soup, Tiaan says
if I remind him again, he shall never bring me
a koeksister in his life
Tiaan says that within fifty years I shall still lecture
him and his sister about hunting to find the hidden
stash of koeksisters kept out of sight until served
with coffee when they appear as if by magic, it is
a matter of life and death
I have been licking my lips for homemade koeksisters
for an age, the way grandma Alice made them, thick
spicy syrup with cloves, lemon rind and cinnamon,
dough twisted perfectly, taken from boiling hot oil
and dipped into ice-cold syrup
Then you bite into a sweet velvet explosion, a spiced
delight I cannot describe, I stole packets of ice-cold
koeksisters from the freezer at home to keep my own
secret stash in the bedroom, then sucked on them
all day long, enchanted by
The heavenly taste, to me heaven meant a place
where one ate koeksisters and chocolate cake
all day long…
I have been telling Tiaan and Nici to get me
some while their dad wants soup, Tiaan says
if I remind him again, he shall never bring me
a koeksister in his life
Tiaan says that within fifty years I shall still lecture
him and his sister about hunting to find the hidden
stash of koeksisters kept out of sight until served
with coffee when they appear as if by magic, it is
a matter of life and death
I have been licking my lips for homemade koeksisters
for an age, the way grandma Alice made them, thick
spicy syrup with cloves, lemon rind and cinnamon,
dough twisted perfectly, taken from boiling hot oil
and dipped into ice-cold syrup
Then you bite into a sweet velvet explosion, a spiced
delight I cannot describe, I stole packets of ice-cold
koeksisters from the freezer at home to keep my own
secret stash in the bedroom, then sucked on them
all day long, enchanted by
The heavenly taste, to me heaven meant a place
where one ate koeksisters and chocolate cake
all day long…
Friday, August 13, 2010
Schumi-cum-Schindler
Goodness gracious, I am so happy tonight
knowing all is well, my elder brother is doing
great since he found a beautiful fairy to bring
magic into his life, for the first time ever he is
living a fairy tale, living a belated youth
Father is safe and cared for on the farm, mother
still in plaster and out of harm’s way, my twin is
well entertained and organising everyone, we are
arguing about a name for our new dog, a lovely
dachshund, I want to call him Schumi
You want Schindler, Nici wants Kiki, Willem wants
Amika and Tiaan insists on calling him Oscar, we
shall have to watch him a while before making a
choice, I shall call him Schumi regardless of what
you say - you are so happy tonight
Dogs are a passion, we can’t wait to welcome
Schumi-cum-Schindler-Kiki-cum-Amika-cum-
Oscar into our home!
knowing all is well, my elder brother is doing
great since he found a beautiful fairy to bring
magic into his life, for the first time ever he is
living a fairy tale, living a belated youth
Father is safe and cared for on the farm, mother
still in plaster and out of harm’s way, my twin is
well entertained and organising everyone, we are
arguing about a name for our new dog, a lovely
dachshund, I want to call him Schumi
You want Schindler, Nici wants Kiki, Willem wants
Amika and Tiaan insists on calling him Oscar, we
shall have to watch him a while before making a
choice, I shall call him Schumi regardless of what
you say - you are so happy tonight
Dogs are a passion, we can’t wait to welcome
Schumi-cum-Schindler-Kiki-cum-Amika-cum-
Oscar into our home!
Weather This Storm
I only realized the extent of your anger when
that car nearly crashed into us this morning, I
could feel the waves of fury you sent in all
directions and the way it affected other
drivers, I wish I could take your
heartache away
You helped Tiaan to create a brilliant project
on macro-photography; it was destroyed by
the teacher’s shortsightedness reclassifying
it as a project about the effects of light -
but this has no relation to the
real subject
Your painstaking work was scrapped, there is
nothing left to present at the Expo, judges
will scorn this work once they notice the
discrepancy between the title of light
and macro-photography, the teacher
spoiled everything
This is why I love you, you feel so intense,
your anger is boundless, but so is your
love, you always burn out in the fury
of feelings - to rise anew like a
phoenix, rejuvenated, just as
hopeful and trusting
As before your dreams were crushed, you
always relish challenges with boyish
enthusiasm, I love your vitality, the
power you exude, let’s weather
this storm and be happier
than before!
that car nearly crashed into us this morning, I
could feel the waves of fury you sent in all
directions and the way it affected other
drivers, I wish I could take your
heartache away
You helped Tiaan to create a brilliant project
on macro-photography; it was destroyed by
the teacher’s shortsightedness reclassifying
it as a project about the effects of light -
but this has no relation to the
real subject
Your painstaking work was scrapped, there is
nothing left to present at the Expo, judges
will scorn this work once they notice the
discrepancy between the title of light
and macro-photography, the teacher
spoiled everything
This is why I love you, you feel so intense,
your anger is boundless, but so is your
love, you always burn out in the fury
of feelings - to rise anew like a
phoenix, rejuvenated, just as
hopeful and trusting
As before your dreams were crushed, you
always relish challenges with boyish
enthusiasm, I love your vitality, the
power you exude, let’s weather
this storm and be happier
than before!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Mistress Theosophist
This morning lengthened my life by ten years, it
is the most marvelous thing when joie de vivre
springs without external cause, without hope for
anything, simply the joy of being
Dancing to Colonel Boogie playing on the radio in
the kitchen, the glass doors providing a smudged
reflection, imagination conjuring troops of lively
dancers joining me, stepping sideways
Then we got into the car to drive to work, you frowned,
peace, please, you asked, I felt the wave of joy subside
shortening my life by eight years again, but I still arrived
at the office with the bubble of happiness
Floating inside, Sabrina found my black top at DIRCO – I
must look up this acronym – and battered baby Marzanne
is getting back her eyesight, everything is falling into place
now to check on the one-eyed troll Interpol
His criminals masquerading with expensive clothes and sore-
throat cars, more messages for chasing all kinds of blackguards
Mistress Theosophist still waiting to be read; I have already for-
gotten your early-morning frown, oops, adding
Another ten years – at this rate, I shall never die!
is the most marvelous thing when joie de vivre
springs without external cause, without hope for
anything, simply the joy of being
Dancing to Colonel Boogie playing on the radio in
the kitchen, the glass doors providing a smudged
reflection, imagination conjuring troops of lively
dancers joining me, stepping sideways
Then we got into the car to drive to work, you frowned,
peace, please, you asked, I felt the wave of joy subside
shortening my life by eight years again, but I still arrived
at the office with the bubble of happiness
Floating inside, Sabrina found my black top at DIRCO – I
must look up this acronym – and battered baby Marzanne
is getting back her eyesight, everything is falling into place
now to check on the one-eyed troll Interpol
His criminals masquerading with expensive clothes and sore-
throat cars, more messages for chasing all kinds of blackguards
Mistress Theosophist still waiting to be read; I have already for-
gotten your early-morning frown, oops, adding
Another ten years – at this rate, I shall never die!
Seething Fires
Damn and blast, last night lengthened my life
by a hundred years, I was so happy washed in
adrenaline, luckily tonight will detract fifty years
because everything is going wrong, I was too tired
to concentrate, left my black top at DIRCO, heaven
knows what this acronym stands for, point is
my top is lost, tragedy indeed
I came home after a hectic day and said the wrong
things, then another and another, now I am in so
deep, I don’t even bother to apologise, I surmise
you are fed-up with scatter-brained me, and you
should be, I did not do very well, did not explain
anything at all, I was so self-satisfied on comple-
ting a list on statistics, floating over the earth
But real life brought me down, you kindly explained my
hair looked awful, thank you; after working last night, it
is all I needed to make my happiness complete, Tiaan
concurred but Nici demurred; thank heaven, a daughter
who is on my side, she pointed out how you hated every
hairstyle she ever tried, besides, nobody cares what I
look like, only Nici and I
Seth declared we create circumstances by envisioning
them, I shall envision a great day tomorrow, if it does not
come to pass – should I suffer sorrow, at least I will have
the memory of tonight, if people are dissatisfied because
of my Freudian mistakes, I shall apologise; I am trying to
reform, trying to become the image of the kind old matron
held by destiny for me, it takes a lot of imagination
To see me dignified in my mind’s eye - it is a challenge
I am willing to face, I want to look like everyone else on
the surface, the better to protect the seething fires of
dreams underneath!
by a hundred years, I was so happy washed in
adrenaline, luckily tonight will detract fifty years
because everything is going wrong, I was too tired
to concentrate, left my black top at DIRCO, heaven
knows what this acronym stands for, point is
my top is lost, tragedy indeed
I came home after a hectic day and said the wrong
things, then another and another, now I am in so
deep, I don’t even bother to apologise, I surmise
you are fed-up with scatter-brained me, and you
should be, I did not do very well, did not explain
anything at all, I was so self-satisfied on comple-
ting a list on statistics, floating over the earth
But real life brought me down, you kindly explained my
hair looked awful, thank you; after working last night, it
is all I needed to make my happiness complete, Tiaan
concurred but Nici demurred; thank heaven, a daughter
who is on my side, she pointed out how you hated every
hairstyle she ever tried, besides, nobody cares what I
look like, only Nici and I
Seth declared we create circumstances by envisioning
them, I shall envision a great day tomorrow, if it does not
come to pass – should I suffer sorrow, at least I will have
the memory of tonight, if people are dissatisfied because
of my Freudian mistakes, I shall apologise; I am trying to
reform, trying to become the image of the kind old matron
held by destiny for me, it takes a lot of imagination
To see me dignified in my mind’s eye - it is a challenge
I am willing to face, I want to look like everyone else on
the surface, the better to protect the seething fires of
dreams underneath!
Too Tired to Sparkle
After working deep into the night on a questionnaire
to gather statistics, facts about death and accidents
my eyes are tired, trying to decipher the troll Interpol’s
message about an expensive car with a sore throat –
or does the owner have the sore throat? What does
the one-eyed troll Interpol mean?
I am too tired to decipher cryptic messages, my neck
stiffens as I read that Interpol is chasing a brave criminal
who managed to hold six different identities at one and
the same time, they should award him a medal, how
many people can do that, just because he is better
than ordinary people at playing a scam
He is a hunted man, I could never even start such a game,
not being sure who I am in the first place, I would lose the
little bit of identity I have created for myself immediately if
several identities with different birthdates were available
I would never be able to come back to myself again, this
man must be very sure who he is
To give up his official identity and still be the same person
inside – or is he? Right now I am into Theosophy, the magic
is in you, in me, in us, but my eyes are too tired to make
more sparkles today, the one-eyed troll Interpol will have
to wait for this serving maid…
to gather statistics, facts about death and accidents
my eyes are tired, trying to decipher the troll Interpol’s
message about an expensive car with a sore throat –
or does the owner have the sore throat? What does
the one-eyed troll Interpol mean?
I am too tired to decipher cryptic messages, my neck
stiffens as I read that Interpol is chasing a brave criminal
who managed to hold six different identities at one and
the same time, they should award him a medal, how
many people can do that, just because he is better
than ordinary people at playing a scam
He is a hunted man, I could never even start such a game,
not being sure who I am in the first place, I would lose the
little bit of identity I have created for myself immediately if
several identities with different birthdates were available
I would never be able to come back to myself again, this
man must be very sure who he is
To give up his official identity and still be the same person
inside – or is he? Right now I am into Theosophy, the magic
is in you, in me, in us, but my eyes are too tired to make
more sparkles today, the one-eyed troll Interpol will have
to wait for this serving maid…
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Skeletons In Black
Bored, bored, bored, a questionnaire about
general statistics, how much of this, how much
of that, where, when and how, ten years, on a
bicycle, tricycle or bus, quantifying human life
Unless the numbers are put together to make a
picture and express colours and temperature to
determine emotions and feelings representing
visions and dreams; numbers and statistics
Are the most boring inventions, leading to the
most useless questions, a king determining his
power by counting his subjects, people as slaves
as fodder to feed the machine, it never stops
Numbers should represent music and forms and
colours and feelings, I want to look at the three-
dimensional images, feel and taste them, revel in
sensations, not look at two-dimensional figures
Written on paper, a three without yellow and the
sound of e and a four without green and the form
of a square, mean nothing to me, looking at the
number only I see skeletons in black everywhere
I might as well be dead…
general statistics, how much of this, how much
of that, where, when and how, ten years, on a
bicycle, tricycle or bus, quantifying human life
Unless the numbers are put together to make a
picture and express colours and temperature to
determine emotions and feelings representing
visions and dreams; numbers and statistics
Are the most boring inventions, leading to the
most useless questions, a king determining his
power by counting his subjects, people as slaves
as fodder to feed the machine, it never stops
Numbers should represent music and forms and
colours and feelings, I want to look at the three-
dimensional images, feel and taste them, revel in
sensations, not look at two-dimensional figures
Written on paper, a three without yellow and the
sound of e and a four without green and the form
of a square, mean nothing to me, looking at the
number only I see skeletons in black everywhere
I might as well be dead…
Plus Jamais Comme Avant
I was miserable and fatigued, nothing I consumed
– information and foodstuffs - seemed to provide
energy, found Anne Duquesne and suddenly
my situation seemed to have meaning:
“Rien ne sera plus jamais comme avant“
[=Nothing will be the same as it used to be]
Anne writes: “Rien ne se déroule comme je l’imaginais.
Les innombrables symptômes de l’ascension se sont
abattus sur moi, de telle sorte que je ne peux lever le
petit doigt sans devoir déployer un effort colossal
complètement hors de proportion avec le résultat
escompté.“
“En relisant la liste de ces symptômes, je les retrouve
pratiquement tous:“
“Vous n’avez envie de rien faire“
[=You have no desire to do anything]
Yesssss, this is ME, to a T!
“Lorsque nous nous sentons comme cela, nous sommes
en période de repos, de réinitialisation.“
“Notre corps sait ce dont il a besoin. Dans ces périodes,
vous pouvez avoir le sentiment d’avoir perdu votre passion
et votre joie, et de ne pas savoir ce que diable vous voulez faire
de votre vie. “
Mais oui, but yes, absolutely, this is exactly how I feel, I thought
the month of August was out to kill me with pollen and other
terrible seasonal things, and here this brave author, writing
an article in French, tells me my life and interprets it
beautifully
I so often lose my passion and vision, joy and meaning, and here
she says it is a well-known and propitious phenomenon, zut alors,
I need no longer sit in sackcloth and ashes because of the blackness
in which I find myself
“Cette phase survient lorsque nous sommes en train de nous
réaligner “
So, this is a phase of realignment and we need the time of
quiet repose to let the process complete itself? I used to run
to the doctor and drink medicines and pills and cry unto heaven
whenever this terrible lethargy came upon me
“Aux niveaux plus élevés, beaucoup de choses se réalignent
aussi. Elles sont mises en place afin que vous soyez prêt
lorsque vous avancerez à nouveau.”
And many other things are also realigned and everything is
prepared so we are all ready when we start moving forwards
again? What wonderful information, giving me a new perspective
on the situation
“Puisque vous êtes incapable de le faire vous-mêmes,
demandez à l’Univers de vous apporter ce que vous voulez.
Et sachez que pendant le processus on prend toujours soin
de vous, même si parfois ça n’en a pas l’air.“
Well, I never, at least this author explains how to live through
this crisis while waiting for realignment to be complete so that
I can breathe again, I was planning on self-flagellation to set
my inactive mental motor racing again
“Après mille tergiversations toutes plus épuisantes
les unes que les autres, je n’ai d’autre choix que celui
de me rendre. Stop. Pas d’engagements. Pas d’obligations
ne serait-ce que vis-à-vis de moi-même“
Ah, sweet music to my ears, to stop, to undertake no more
obligations, to give oneself permission to just be in existence
without pretense of hard work, tears and self-contempt,
to be like a flower sucking up the sun – things make
sense in this lovely perspective
“Accepter de ne pas savoir ce que sera l’instant d’après. »
To accept without rebellion and question, to rest in the
eternal benevolence of life unfolding – what wonderful bliss
“Écouter encore davantage les demandes de mon corps
(du repos, encore du repos, toujours du repos) et de mes
cellules - accepter de mettre à jour et d’alimenter le blog
uniquement quand je m’y sentirai poussée sans aucun
effort, et tant pis pour les dates... Accepter de ne pas
vous donner l’image parfaite de celle-qui-répond-
quasi-instantanément-aux-e-mails... “
Anne says she feels her body needs rest – my goodness
I thought I was the only crocodile in need of hibernation
now this esoteric lady claims it is the prerequisite of
this seasonal phase – working only when the body
allows one to – well, my body certainly switched
off completely, I hated myself for being so
sluggish, but apparently, it is healthy
“Cette nécessaire reddition m’est apparue clairement
aux aurores ce matin, après pas mal d’heures
d’insomnie. “
I am so glad she felt the need for rest after a night of
insomnia, the bane of my life, I thought I was the
worst Taugenichts this world had ever seen, and
here is the proof it is a common human
phenomenon
“Si vous vous sentez désespérés ou épuisés ce
mois-ci, encore une fois, vous pouvez savoir que
quelque part au fond de vous, vous êtes en train
de résister à la vérité, ou de nier ce qui se passe
vraiment, en train d’essayer de vous accrocher
au passé. »
Oe lá lá, I felt such despair, discouragement and
fatigue this month, now she quotes another claiming
it means we are resisting the truth, whatever it may be,
to deny what is really happening and trying to hold on to
the past. Well, this is food for thought indeed, what am I
so bent on denying and resisting? I tried eating different
food, so maybe it is not that exactly, and changed my
hairstyle, letting the past go, and no more writing
passionately to all and sundry, becoming sedate -
I trust I am on the right track, all the same?
“Si vous vous retrouvez épuisés ce mois-ci,
continuez à chercher dans quelle partie de
votre vie ou du monde qui vous entoure
vous maintenez une résistance, ou
dans quel domaine vous
persévérez dans le
déni. »
So, if I keep feeling fatigued, I must remove
resistance from my life and world and not deny
the truth of reality? Hmmmm, open to interpretation…
“Si vous faites cela, vous ne pourrez pas
ne pas découvrir les vérités qui vous libéreront.“
And when I discover the truth, should I proclaim
it or keep quiet in case other people do not like it?
Forsooth, what to do with the truth? Clobber
someone over the head?
“Retrouvez l'espoir qui est votre droit de naissance
en cette période d’évolution rapide, très énergique
et passionnante de l'histoire de l'humanité.“
Oh dear, this is the crux of the matter: I do not know
what to hope for, I do not know what will further my
cause, I dream of Gothic novels and then reject my
fantasies tout suite, I fantasize of great events and
then my heroine runs away, scared of heartbreak,
even my fictitious characters will not stay
I am ashamed to admit, I am scared of Hope right
now, it is atrocious, I fear l’éspoir which is mon droit
de naissance – I think I lived without hope for so
long, I have lost the habit to make it realistic and
strong…
Then Anne admits on her own behalf:
“Il est certain que je résistais, probablement à un
changement de ma mission, en voulant m’accrocher
à son ancienne forme parce que je n’ai aucune idée
de ce que sera la nouvelle, avec mon arrivée ici... “
I understand Anne’s lament, I also hang onto the old
and well-known because I cannot imagine what a new
form and expression would be like…
Anne announces she will work “selon l’inspiration du
moment“ – and it seems to me a brilliant plan, her
words inspired me to abandon myself to a period
of repose and inactivity with less fear, at least…
Quoted directly from an article - with my
own comments - found at:
http://www.anneduquesne.com
– information and foodstuffs - seemed to provide
energy, found Anne Duquesne and suddenly
my situation seemed to have meaning:
“Rien ne sera plus jamais comme avant“
[=Nothing will be the same as it used to be]
Anne writes: “Rien ne se déroule comme je l’imaginais.
Les innombrables symptômes de l’ascension se sont
abattus sur moi, de telle sorte que je ne peux lever le
petit doigt sans devoir déployer un effort colossal
complètement hors de proportion avec le résultat
escompté.“
“En relisant la liste de ces symptômes, je les retrouve
pratiquement tous:“
“Vous n’avez envie de rien faire“
[=You have no desire to do anything]
Yesssss, this is ME, to a T!
“Lorsque nous nous sentons comme cela, nous sommes
en période de repos, de réinitialisation.“
“Notre corps sait ce dont il a besoin. Dans ces périodes,
vous pouvez avoir le sentiment d’avoir perdu votre passion
et votre joie, et de ne pas savoir ce que diable vous voulez faire
de votre vie. “
Mais oui, but yes, absolutely, this is exactly how I feel, I thought
the month of August was out to kill me with pollen and other
terrible seasonal things, and here this brave author, writing
an article in French, tells me my life and interprets it
beautifully
I so often lose my passion and vision, joy and meaning, and here
she says it is a well-known and propitious phenomenon, zut alors,
I need no longer sit in sackcloth and ashes because of the blackness
in which I find myself
“Cette phase survient lorsque nous sommes en train de nous
réaligner “
So, this is a phase of realignment and we need the time of
quiet repose to let the process complete itself? I used to run
to the doctor and drink medicines and pills and cry unto heaven
whenever this terrible lethargy came upon me
“Aux niveaux plus élevés, beaucoup de choses se réalignent
aussi. Elles sont mises en place afin que vous soyez prêt
lorsque vous avancerez à nouveau.”
And many other things are also realigned and everything is
prepared so we are all ready when we start moving forwards
again? What wonderful information, giving me a new perspective
on the situation
“Puisque vous êtes incapable de le faire vous-mêmes,
demandez à l’Univers de vous apporter ce que vous voulez.
Et sachez que pendant le processus on prend toujours soin
de vous, même si parfois ça n’en a pas l’air.“
Well, I never, at least this author explains how to live through
this crisis while waiting for realignment to be complete so that
I can breathe again, I was planning on self-flagellation to set
my inactive mental motor racing again
“Après mille tergiversations toutes plus épuisantes
les unes que les autres, je n’ai d’autre choix que celui
de me rendre. Stop. Pas d’engagements. Pas d’obligations
ne serait-ce que vis-à-vis de moi-même“
Ah, sweet music to my ears, to stop, to undertake no more
obligations, to give oneself permission to just be in existence
without pretense of hard work, tears and self-contempt,
to be like a flower sucking up the sun – things make
sense in this lovely perspective
“Accepter de ne pas savoir ce que sera l’instant d’après. »
To accept without rebellion and question, to rest in the
eternal benevolence of life unfolding – what wonderful bliss
“Écouter encore davantage les demandes de mon corps
(du repos, encore du repos, toujours du repos) et de mes
cellules - accepter de mettre à jour et d’alimenter le blog
uniquement quand je m’y sentirai poussée sans aucun
effort, et tant pis pour les dates... Accepter de ne pas
vous donner l’image parfaite de celle-qui-répond-
quasi-instantanément-aux-e-mails... “
Anne says she feels her body needs rest – my goodness
I thought I was the only crocodile in need of hibernation
now this esoteric lady claims it is the prerequisite of
this seasonal phase – working only when the body
allows one to – well, my body certainly switched
off completely, I hated myself for being so
sluggish, but apparently, it is healthy
“Cette nécessaire reddition m’est apparue clairement
aux aurores ce matin, après pas mal d’heures
d’insomnie. “
I am so glad she felt the need for rest after a night of
insomnia, the bane of my life, I thought I was the
worst Taugenichts this world had ever seen, and
here is the proof it is a common human
phenomenon
“Si vous vous sentez désespérés ou épuisés ce
mois-ci, encore une fois, vous pouvez savoir que
quelque part au fond de vous, vous êtes en train
de résister à la vérité, ou de nier ce qui se passe
vraiment, en train d’essayer de vous accrocher
au passé. »
Oe lá lá, I felt such despair, discouragement and
fatigue this month, now she quotes another claiming
it means we are resisting the truth, whatever it may be,
to deny what is really happening and trying to hold on to
the past. Well, this is food for thought indeed, what am I
so bent on denying and resisting? I tried eating different
food, so maybe it is not that exactly, and changed my
hairstyle, letting the past go, and no more writing
passionately to all and sundry, becoming sedate -
I trust I am on the right track, all the same?
“Si vous vous retrouvez épuisés ce mois-ci,
continuez à chercher dans quelle partie de
votre vie ou du monde qui vous entoure
vous maintenez une résistance, ou
dans quel domaine vous
persévérez dans le
déni. »
So, if I keep feeling fatigued, I must remove
resistance from my life and world and not deny
the truth of reality? Hmmmm, open to interpretation…
“Si vous faites cela, vous ne pourrez pas
ne pas découvrir les vérités qui vous libéreront.“
And when I discover the truth, should I proclaim
it or keep quiet in case other people do not like it?
Forsooth, what to do with the truth? Clobber
someone over the head?
“Retrouvez l'espoir qui est votre droit de naissance
en cette période d’évolution rapide, très énergique
et passionnante de l'histoire de l'humanité.“
Oh dear, this is the crux of the matter: I do not know
what to hope for, I do not know what will further my
cause, I dream of Gothic novels and then reject my
fantasies tout suite, I fantasize of great events and
then my heroine runs away, scared of heartbreak,
even my fictitious characters will not stay
I am ashamed to admit, I am scared of Hope right
now, it is atrocious, I fear l’éspoir which is mon droit
de naissance – I think I lived without hope for so
long, I have lost the habit to make it realistic and
strong…
Then Anne admits on her own behalf:
“Il est certain que je résistais, probablement à un
changement de ma mission, en voulant m’accrocher
à son ancienne forme parce que je n’ai aucune idée
de ce que sera la nouvelle, avec mon arrivée ici... “
I understand Anne’s lament, I also hang onto the old
and well-known because I cannot imagine what a new
form and expression would be like…
Anne announces she will work “selon l’inspiration du
moment“ – and it seems to me a brilliant plan, her
words inspired me to abandon myself to a period
of repose and inactivity with less fear, at least…
Quoted directly from an article - with my
own comments - found at:
http://www.anneduquesne.com
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
A Black Carducci Suit
Tiaan’s potjiekos was a great success, he says
Nici announced that she is going to a ball, Willem
has a black Carducci suit, Nici shall have a dress
made with a low back, she stipulated, we shall
hunt for a dressmaker, hairstyle and shoes
Next week it is the ‘wildsfees’ [venison] at school
the kids are living the social life I never led, I am
so glad they are not hampered by our unsocial
life, they are wholeheartedly involved in school,
Nici and Tiaan both made friends – I never did
Today Karin, my boss, commented favourably on
my new hairstyle, I was surprised, nobody else
bothered at all, she approved - though I am so
scared of my work, it is going well; even if my
boredom threshold is an obstacle, it seems
Most of my colleagues accept me, hubby busy
preparing dinner, Tiaan barbecuing the meat, I
am typing; it is not fair, I suppose, but they allow
me to type at this time, what delight, it makes me
worthwhile also!
Nici announced that she is going to a ball, Willem
has a black Carducci suit, Nici shall have a dress
made with a low back, she stipulated, we shall
hunt for a dressmaker, hairstyle and shoes
Next week it is the ‘wildsfees’ [venison] at school
the kids are living the social life I never led, I am
so glad they are not hampered by our unsocial
life, they are wholeheartedly involved in school,
Nici and Tiaan both made friends – I never did
Today Karin, my boss, commented favourably on
my new hairstyle, I was surprised, nobody else
bothered at all, she approved - though I am so
scared of my work, it is going well; even if my
boredom threshold is an obstacle, it seems
Most of my colleagues accept me, hubby busy
preparing dinner, Tiaan barbecuing the meat, I
am typing; it is not fair, I suppose, but they allow
me to type at this time, what delight, it makes me
worthwhile also!
Eternal Penance
Maybe this is the reason for all unreasonable hatred and
violent attacks in the world: The effects of low blood sugar
sitting upright while my spirit is sinking in a low-blood sugar
swoon makes me murderously angry, I feel like blowing up
the world, the most uncomfortable place in the whole universe
Where people who cannot think straight have to pose as normal
human beings in order to play our self-chosen roles; why did we
choose stupid roles when blessed with blood-sugar-fluctuations,
chemical depressions and attacks of wild aggression? In the car
I must hide my fatigue as you get angry catching me falling asleep
At work I eat like a worm in order to keep from lying down on the
floor, it is enough to drive a saint to desperate measures, a sinner
like me is ready to kill at the drop of a pin – I have learnt to ignore
all my instincts constantly - it would make me act abominably – I
hold my tongue when people make unreasonable demands
Since it might just turn out that I am wrong and they are right, under
the influence of low blood sugar and food allergy it is brilliant to live
undercover, to act like a spy all the time, only I feel so lonely behind
all the fun and games: surely after shedding the physical body my
consciousness shall be free from such fluctuations, if not
Awareness will always be an eternal penance – and that cannot be,
not even the biggest sadist could wish that on me!
violent attacks in the world: The effects of low blood sugar
sitting upright while my spirit is sinking in a low-blood sugar
swoon makes me murderously angry, I feel like blowing up
the world, the most uncomfortable place in the whole universe
Where people who cannot think straight have to pose as normal
human beings in order to play our self-chosen roles; why did we
choose stupid roles when blessed with blood-sugar-fluctuations,
chemical depressions and attacks of wild aggression? In the car
I must hide my fatigue as you get angry catching me falling asleep
At work I eat like a worm in order to keep from lying down on the
floor, it is enough to drive a saint to desperate measures, a sinner
like me is ready to kill at the drop of a pin – I have learnt to ignore
all my instincts constantly - it would make me act abominably – I
hold my tongue when people make unreasonable demands
Since it might just turn out that I am wrong and they are right, under
the influence of low blood sugar and food allergy it is brilliant to live
undercover, to act like a spy all the time, only I feel so lonely behind
all the fun and games: surely after shedding the physical body my
consciousness shall be free from such fluctuations, if not
Awareness will always be an eternal penance – and that cannot be,
not even the biggest sadist could wish that on me!
An H-Bomb
The day dawned beautiful, then I came to the
open-plan office, not sure exactly what I would
like to do today, only convinced that I do not want
to be here, opened a funny e-mail - laughing aloud
when called up short by the voice of an irate colleague
‘I am concentrating, you idiot, on physics, pea-brain
shut-up on the spot’ - I followed the instruction tout suite,
being the local village idiot, then my colleagues discussed a
doctor who botched ALL the operations he did, I recognised
the name, the very same who set my leg in plaster and who did
Tiaan’s broken collar-bone also, apparently we are lucky to live
without disfigurement, cold with shock about all the dangers we
have manoeuvred, completely convinced I do not belong in the
office, I should be in bed, head hidden beneath the bedspread
not moving a muscle, the world outside is much too hostile
I wish I could be a mile from these lovely, angelic people whose
blameless lives put my own evil propensities to shame, there is no
gain in being in the office with a rebellious spirit, when shall the
Ascension, Second Coming, Day of Reckoning or even better,
Armageddon occur - the earth is a place of misery
Though I still feel energised from laughing so much, there is the
most acute awareness that I am in the wrong place at the wrong
time - I should concentrate on reading Dave Wilkerson to bring
his prophecies of doom and gloom into fulfilment, I shall gladly
trigger the H-bomb to start Armageddon myself
It would break the feeling of boredom, given the progress made in
Hirosjima while Africa is so far behind, it seems like an H-bomb
is required to jump-start any continent’s initiative…
open-plan office, not sure exactly what I would
like to do today, only convinced that I do not want
to be here, opened a funny e-mail - laughing aloud
when called up short by the voice of an irate colleague
‘I am concentrating, you idiot, on physics, pea-brain
shut-up on the spot’ - I followed the instruction tout suite,
being the local village idiot, then my colleagues discussed a
doctor who botched ALL the operations he did, I recognised
the name, the very same who set my leg in plaster and who did
Tiaan’s broken collar-bone also, apparently we are lucky to live
without disfigurement, cold with shock about all the dangers we
have manoeuvred, completely convinced I do not belong in the
office, I should be in bed, head hidden beneath the bedspread
not moving a muscle, the world outside is much too hostile
I wish I could be a mile from these lovely, angelic people whose
blameless lives put my own evil propensities to shame, there is no
gain in being in the office with a rebellious spirit, when shall the
Ascension, Second Coming, Day of Reckoning or even better,
Armageddon occur - the earth is a place of misery
Though I still feel energised from laughing so much, there is the
most acute awareness that I am in the wrong place at the wrong
time - I should concentrate on reading Dave Wilkerson to bring
his prophecies of doom and gloom into fulfilment, I shall gladly
trigger the H-bomb to start Armageddon myself
It would break the feeling of boredom, given the progress made in
Hirosjima while Africa is so far behind, it seems like an H-bomb
is required to jump-start any continent’s initiative…
Monday, August 9, 2010
Hang-Dog Beatle Look
Cutting one’s own hair is a form of self-mutilation,
a hairdresser remarked many clients told her how
they cut themselves on the inside of their legs to
divert the pain of heartbreak asking for razors to
be used to this end
I understand, physical sensation hurts less than
emotional pain, promises create great expectations,
disappointment is an unbearable ache, glamour people
like Amy Winehouse use the same expedient, Lindsay
Lohan needs drugs and drink
They illustrate the universal human dilemma in a world
without cure for heartache, everyone looks for a solution,
personally I prefer disfigurement by hair, after a visit to
the hairdresser I resemble the sixties Beatles, Ringo
Starr or Paul McCartney, the worse for wear
I cannot cut myself deliberately, the Santoku knife cutting
into my finger so that the pain still reverberates through my
whole being when I bump my wound, it sliced into the bone,
is enough evidence I am not brave enough to deaden mental
pain with its physical counterpart
A terrible sixties hang-dog Beatle look is quite enough, Tiaan
says it does not look worse than before while Nici says it looks
awful, and I agree, it symbolises the way I feel…
a hairdresser remarked many clients told her how
they cut themselves on the inside of their legs to
divert the pain of heartbreak asking for razors to
be used to this end
I understand, physical sensation hurts less than
emotional pain, promises create great expectations,
disappointment is an unbearable ache, glamour people
like Amy Winehouse use the same expedient, Lindsay
Lohan needs drugs and drink
They illustrate the universal human dilemma in a world
without cure for heartache, everyone looks for a solution,
personally I prefer disfigurement by hair, after a visit to
the hairdresser I resemble the sixties Beatles, Ringo
Starr or Paul McCartney, the worse for wear
I cannot cut myself deliberately, the Santoku knife cutting
into my finger so that the pain still reverberates through my
whole being when I bump my wound, it sliced into the bone,
is enough evidence I am not brave enough to deaden mental
pain with its physical counterpart
A terrible sixties hang-dog Beatle look is quite enough, Tiaan
says it does not look worse than before while Nici says it looks
awful, and I agree, it symbolises the way I feel…
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Great Epic of the Struggle
Finished reading this version of The Mahabharata
must return to the beginning with insight regarding
the main character Yudhishthira -
son of Dharma, god of moral order and righteousness,
therefore Yudhishthira, eldest of the five godly Pandu
brothers, was honourable and virtuous
- and his enemy Duryodhana, eldest of a hundred Kuru brothers,
at his birth he brayed like a donkey and howled like a jackal while
wild winds blew and fires broke out
His father was warned Duryodhana would bring destruction to the
kingdom therefore he should be cast aside but he loved his son and
kept him alive; the end came about when
the hundred Kuru brothers made war against the five godly Pandu
brothers led by Yudhishthira, it is clear why De Santillana and Von
Dechend found a precession analogy
in this classic tale of men and gods and war: Mankind is represented
by the five godly Pandu brothers while the hundred Kuru brothers
represent the untamed forces of nature
unleashed through the Precession of the Equinoxes when the cycle
of 25 920 years reached completion, a new world age is ushered
in, chaos following in its wake
It is precipitate to jump to this conclusion, not having studied The
Mahabharata in depth, but a brilliant thread to follow in this grand
epic where so much is at stake
Ending on a high moral note - the Moral Order being victorious
after a cruel battle, revels are temporary, tribulation and pain are
fleeting, the story recommends:
Never go against the moral order out of fear or lust, foolishness
or rancour, anger or love; because the Moral Order, like our
eternal souls, will endure forevermore*
“The Mahabharata” retold by Vladimir Miltner, translated
by Stephen Finn, Treasure Press, 1991 – *Quoted from
pp. 242, 243
“Hamlet’s Mill” Georgio De Santillana and Hertha Von Dechend
“Mahabharata” literally means “Great Epic of the Struggle between
the Bharata [dynasties]”
must return to the beginning with insight regarding
the main character Yudhishthira -
son of Dharma, god of moral order and righteousness,
therefore Yudhishthira, eldest of the five godly Pandu
brothers, was honourable and virtuous
- and his enemy Duryodhana, eldest of a hundred Kuru brothers,
at his birth he brayed like a donkey and howled like a jackal while
wild winds blew and fires broke out
His father was warned Duryodhana would bring destruction to the
kingdom therefore he should be cast aside but he loved his son and
kept him alive; the end came about when
the hundred Kuru brothers made war against the five godly Pandu
brothers led by Yudhishthira, it is clear why De Santillana and Von
Dechend found a precession analogy
in this classic tale of men and gods and war: Mankind is represented
by the five godly Pandu brothers while the hundred Kuru brothers
represent the untamed forces of nature
unleashed through the Precession of the Equinoxes when the cycle
of 25 920 years reached completion, a new world age is ushered
in, chaos following in its wake
It is precipitate to jump to this conclusion, not having studied The
Mahabharata in depth, but a brilliant thread to follow in this grand
epic where so much is at stake
Ending on a high moral note - the Moral Order being victorious
after a cruel battle, revels are temporary, tribulation and pain are
fleeting, the story recommends:
Never go against the moral order out of fear or lust, foolishness
or rancour, anger or love; because the Moral Order, like our
eternal souls, will endure forevermore*
“The Mahabharata” retold by Vladimir Miltner, translated
by Stephen Finn, Treasure Press, 1991 – *Quoted from
pp. 242, 243
“Hamlet’s Mill” Georgio De Santillana and Hertha Von Dechend
“Mahabharata” literally means “Great Epic of the Struggle between
the Bharata [dynasties]”
Heavenly Delight
I had forgotten that every time I changed my
hairstyle and started to resemble an escaped
convict or scarecrow, Barbara passes by, I cut
my own hair not realising that it would bring her
to me, and heavenly delight, she notices every-
thing and said my hair was fine
Everyone else was oblivious to my self-conscious
plight; but she took the time and trouble to reassure
me, she is a glam-guru, always well-groomed - I am
thankful she is my friend, understanding that even a
confirmed bookworm like me make futile attempts to
pose as an ordinary human being
Once she has given her blessing, I do not fear the
censure of other people, I know I am presentable if
only just, that is good enough, now to clean the kitchen
and since I have given up hope for myself, to think up a
life for my heroine…
hairstyle and started to resemble an escaped
convict or scarecrow, Barbara passes by, I cut
my own hair not realising that it would bring her
to me, and heavenly delight, she notices every-
thing and said my hair was fine
Everyone else was oblivious to my self-conscious
plight; but she took the time and trouble to reassure
me, she is a glam-guru, always well-groomed - I am
thankful she is my friend, understanding that even a
confirmed bookworm like me make futile attempts to
pose as an ordinary human being
Once she has given her blessing, I do not fear the
censure of other people, I know I am presentable if
only just, that is good enough, now to clean the kitchen
and since I have given up hope for myself, to think up a
life for my heroine…
Friday, August 6, 2010
Too Much Imagination
Obviously the words of faith and optimism,
joyous anticipation and happy expectation
were not meant for me, everything I looked
forward to fell flat on its face, I know Staal
Burger has no intrinsic value, it serves as a
bridge to the past - the film is terrible –
It is the group of people who were bound by
the story that is important to me, to be alone
with the bare outline does not work, it is the
memories evoked by the sounds that have
importance, no wonder Tiaan and Nici turn
away in disgust, they never knew
The warm feeling of comfort as the episodes
united us when we were small, and I know
GPS directions spoken by Staal Burger would
evoke the best feelings ever, I wish it could be
arranged; besides high expectations are meant
for people with small imaginations
I always go into overdrive and dream up a storm
disappointment is guaranteed when I am involved
I shall immediately lower my ideals to wishing we
will have no argument again all weekend long, it is
my fault that I did not have a cell-phone and could
not reply when I drove off at night to find the children
Only to discover they were gone already, you were
right in your anger, hurling accusations at me for being
the most irresponsible person you know - I was such a
fool to have harboured high expectations for life given
the lovely effect of faith and hope; I should have known
a realistic hope for less problems is the only possibility
For a dreamer like me, disillusionment is painful, I
accept the guilt is all mine, rant and rave as much as
you like, high hopes were never meant for me, I have
too much imagination…
joyous anticipation and happy expectation
were not meant for me, everything I looked
forward to fell flat on its face, I know Staal
Burger has no intrinsic value, it serves as a
bridge to the past - the film is terrible –
It is the group of people who were bound by
the story that is important to me, to be alone
with the bare outline does not work, it is the
memories evoked by the sounds that have
importance, no wonder Tiaan and Nici turn
away in disgust, they never knew
The warm feeling of comfort as the episodes
united us when we were small, and I know
GPS directions spoken by Staal Burger would
evoke the best feelings ever, I wish it could be
arranged; besides high expectations are meant
for people with small imaginations
I always go into overdrive and dream up a storm
disappointment is guaranteed when I am involved
I shall immediately lower my ideals to wishing we
will have no argument again all weekend long, it is
my fault that I did not have a cell-phone and could
not reply when I drove off at night to find the children
Only to discover they were gone already, you were
right in your anger, hurling accusations at me for being
the most irresponsible person you know - I was such a
fool to have harboured high expectations for life given
the lovely effect of faith and hope; I should have known
a realistic hope for less problems is the only possibility
For a dreamer like me, disillusionment is painful, I
accept the guilt is all mine, rant and rave as much as
you like, high hopes were never meant for me, I have
too much imagination…
Killing the Moment
The chicken mayonnaise sandwich I had this morning is
killing the contemplative moment, it seemed clever to eat
something that would cause just a breathing problem, but
no, it has become a thinking disturbance, muscles
and veins tightening
Painkillers push the pain into a tight orb on the side of
my head, my feelings and emotions dead, a red excla-
mation mark left in my chair: my theories are brilliant
my plans for a good weekend stupendous, yet nothing
lifts the headache
No production ahead as I cling to my chair so as not to
fall over, once again gluttony wins, only fasting has a
chance of keeping the balance, too late for such in-
sights now, not even Seth’s wisdom can rectify this
problem, right after
I brilliantly succeeded in giving myself a pep-talk that had
my heart singing and believing in faith - now right here in
this red-hot moment, faith in goodness has grown cold
and ineffective, nothing stirs the blackened embers of
my emotions and feelings
Extinguished by the food allergy…
killing the contemplative moment, it seemed clever to eat
something that would cause just a breathing problem, but
no, it has become a thinking disturbance, muscles
and veins tightening
Painkillers push the pain into a tight orb on the side of
my head, my feelings and emotions dead, a red excla-
mation mark left in my chair: my theories are brilliant
my plans for a good weekend stupendous, yet nothing
lifts the headache
No production ahead as I cling to my chair so as not to
fall over, once again gluttony wins, only fasting has a
chance of keeping the balance, too late for such in-
sights now, not even Seth’s wisdom can rectify this
problem, right after
I brilliantly succeeded in giving myself a pep-talk that had
my heart singing and believing in faith - now right here in
this red-hot moment, faith in goodness has grown cold
and ineffective, nothing stirs the blackened embers of
my emotions and feelings
Extinguished by the food allergy…
Far More Wondrous
Seth did not create a new creed, he recommends
that everybody think for themselves and make their
own assumptions regarding belief and its efficacy, I
apply his system by using my own criteria to determine
what I want to believe without forcing anybody to follow
me, I love making notes and following my own ideals,
refusing to accept another’s version of reality:
Seth Quotes - Shortened:
“Consciousness forms all systems simultaneously without
a straight line of development, but by parallel explosions
of life forms and patterns in all directions
Life is cooperative and knows it exists beyond its form and
humankind’s experience involves vital development of
consciousness, necessitating specialization
The physical universe serves as a threshold for probabilities,
all possible species find fulfilment within the system, each
neurologically tuned into their own reality and time
The body is led by consciousness and beliefs which direct
neurological responses and we only accept neurological
pulses which bring results
The body is far more wondrous than we realize, though the
race makes errors, our own greater knowledge leads us to
areas of probable fulfilment”
©Jane Roberts and Robert F Butts
Seth Quotes(shortened)found at:
http://shopofenlightenment.com/forum
/post15534.html?hilit=Seth%20Jane%20Roberts#p15534
The "Unknown" Reality-Session 668
by multi on Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:29 pm
The "Unknown" Reality-Session 668
March 6th 1974
that everybody think for themselves and make their
own assumptions regarding belief and its efficacy, I
apply his system by using my own criteria to determine
what I want to believe without forcing anybody to follow
me, I love making notes and following my own ideals,
refusing to accept another’s version of reality:
Seth Quotes - Shortened:
“Consciousness forms all systems simultaneously without
a straight line of development, but by parallel explosions
of life forms and patterns in all directions
Life is cooperative and knows it exists beyond its form and
humankind’s experience involves vital development of
consciousness, necessitating specialization
The physical universe serves as a threshold for probabilities,
all possible species find fulfilment within the system, each
neurologically tuned into their own reality and time
The body is led by consciousness and beliefs which direct
neurological responses and we only accept neurological
pulses which bring results
The body is far more wondrous than we realize, though the
race makes errors, our own greater knowledge leads us to
areas of probable fulfilment”
©Jane Roberts and Robert F Butts
Seth Quotes(shortened)found at:
http://shopofenlightenment.com/forum
/post15534.html?hilit=Seth%20Jane%20Roberts#p15534
The "Unknown" Reality-Session 668
by multi on Tue Aug 18, 2009 1:29 pm
The "Unknown" Reality-Session 668
March 6th 1974
Wonderful Resolutions
I like Seth's new year resolutions, just shortened the
long lines for easy reference; wish I could reprogram
my brain to accept only uplifting ideas such as these
since the effect on my well-being and health is
wonderful:
1) Approve of myself, abilities, characteristics, likes and
dislikes, inclinations and disinclinations as a unique
individuality, given to me for a reason
2) Approve of and rejoice in my accomplishments, as
vigorous in listing and remembering them as I did
before in focusing on lack thereof
3) Remember the creative context of existence in which we
live, holding the possibilities, potentials, miracles and
joyful spontaneity of Framework 2 in my mind
4) Realize the future is probability, in ordinary experience
nothing exists as yet, virgin territory planted by our present
thoughts and feelings, successes and accomplishments
Quoted from:
http://shopofenlightenment.com/forum/post4788.
html?hilit=Seth%20Jane%20Roberts#p4788
~ Seth/Jane Roberts --
"Dreams, Evolution & Value Fulfillment"
Vol. 1, Session 891, Notes, Seth's suggested new
year resolutions - 2005 Copyright Robert F. Butts
long lines for easy reference; wish I could reprogram
my brain to accept only uplifting ideas such as these
since the effect on my well-being and health is
wonderful:
1) Approve of myself, abilities, characteristics, likes and
dislikes, inclinations and disinclinations as a unique
individuality, given to me for a reason
2) Approve of and rejoice in my accomplishments, as
vigorous in listing and remembering them as I did
before in focusing on lack thereof
3) Remember the creative context of existence in which we
live, holding the possibilities, potentials, miracles and
joyful spontaneity of Framework 2 in my mind
4) Realize the future is probability, in ordinary experience
nothing exists as yet, virgin territory planted by our present
thoughts and feelings, successes and accomplishments
Quoted from:
http://shopofenlightenment.com/forum/post4788.
html?hilit=Seth%20Jane%20Roberts#p4788
~ Seth/Jane Roberts --
"Dreams, Evolution & Value Fulfillment"
Vol. 1, Session 891, Notes, Seth's suggested new
year resolutions - 2005 Copyright Robert F. Butts
Escaped Convict Look
“Don’t-Care” is paying the price for her insouciance
last night, hair problem exacerbated, had to buy hair
clips, fasten the remnants of sheared hair to my head
why can’t I learn self-discipline and use the expertise
of hairdressers?
At least nobody said anything, I did not bring it to their
attention, Abraham recommends tackling the world with
joyous expectation, given my situation it is difficult to do
though finding clips to hold my hair tight was a happy
surprise
I might find a new book in the library and a new movie
about Nanny McPhee has been released; maybe, in
spite of my inadvertently perfecting the escaped convict
look, this weekend might be good, an energy surge might
surprise me
Because I am eating the right stuff, I might even find a
President letter that is both legible and sensible, it is
conceivable that a new auric dimension might strike
my eye - if success is defined as faith in goodness,
then this weekend
Appears quite marvellous when appraised through
these rose-coloured glasses
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Don’t Care Tonight
Iron self-control slipping - after putting up with my
own stupid requests regarding hairstyles, I could
not stand another day of the horrible long hair
looking awful whenever I looked in the mirror
I borrowed your new pair of scissors, strictly for-
bidden - cut off lengths of hair - I did not have
the guts to instruct the hairdresser as to what
I want; I am a fool, I know, the experts should
Take care of things like these, but I cannot find
the right words to make them understand what
I want, so I took matters into my own hands:
tomorrow will tell whether it was a success
I simply don’t care tonight, nothing else matters
as long as Seth says we are free to make our
own decisions; I choose dreamland,
yea for me!
own stupid requests regarding hairstyles, I could
not stand another day of the horrible long hair
looking awful whenever I looked in the mirror
I borrowed your new pair of scissors, strictly for-
bidden - cut off lengths of hair - I did not have
the guts to instruct the hairdresser as to what
I want; I am a fool, I know, the experts should
Take care of things like these, but I cannot find
the right words to make them understand what
I want, so I took matters into my own hands:
tomorrow will tell whether it was a success
I simply don’t care tonight, nothing else matters
as long as Seth says we are free to make our
own decisions; I choose dreamland,
yea for me!
Curiosity, Adventure, Growth
I rejoice in faith, rejoice in finding my
dream of faith vindicated by others, in
reading uplifting words that rekindle
my hope and give me new life:
“Faith is active and passive, acting as
stimulant and tranquilizer promoting
biological changes, ensuring health
and vitality, pulses quickened or
slowed, hormones activated or
quieted
Faith elicits biological responses by its
optimism, safety, freedom, returning
us to the curiosity, adventure and
growth of our childhood”
“In looking for answers, we may
ignore all authorities with
whom we have already
wasted so much time”
*************************************
Summary of material found at:
http://www.nirvikalpa.com/dbcontnt.php?page=faith
Seth by Jane Roberts - William James "Faith" Essay
Excerpt from "The Afterdeath Journal of an
American Philosopher", by Jane Roberts
dream of faith vindicated by others, in
reading uplifting words that rekindle
my hope and give me new life:
“Faith is active and passive, acting as
stimulant and tranquilizer promoting
biological changes, ensuring health
and vitality, pulses quickened or
slowed, hormones activated or
quieted
Faith elicits biological responses by its
optimism, safety, freedom, returning
us to the curiosity, adventure and
growth of our childhood”
“In looking for answers, we may
ignore all authorities with
whom we have already
wasted so much time”
*************************************
Summary of material found at:
http://www.nirvikalpa.com/dbcontnt.php?page=faith
Seth by Jane Roberts - William James "Faith" Essay
Excerpt from "The Afterdeath Journal of an
American Philosopher", by Jane Roberts
A Love Story
Our hero, Chamsddine Vinguidassalom, driving his Lamborghini,
throws back his hair, thinking contemptuously that BBC’ Top Gear
Jeremy once drove a Lamborghini, that peasants like journalists
are allowed to drive his sacrosanct car is beyond him, it should
be taboo to the populace, only billionaires like himself should
be allowed anywhere near it
Rounding a corner, he crashes into the humble car of Valiantsina
Hrybouskaya, our heroine, her car broke down in the middle of
the road, no Top Gear team around to bail her out, tinkle, tinkle
one of the headlamps of the Lamborghini breaks ominously
Chamsddine jumps out furiously, ready to annihilate our
heroine, but as she unfolds her Swedish beauty
He stares in wondering amazement at her svelte Swedish height
governed by a chemical reaction absolutely incomprehensible
to himself, he falls on his knees and apologises for bumping
into her car, Valiantsina looks at him with real contempt and
tells him to stop his antics and help her move her car to the
side of the road, her helpers watching from the bushes
Wait for our hero to move before jumping into his Lamborghini and
driving off at great speed, Valiantsina with them, Chamsddine
heartbroken and lost, did you think this is a comedy? – No,
this is a most horrible tragedy, to lose a Lamborghini
is the worst pain a man can ever feel…
throws back his hair, thinking contemptuously that BBC’ Top Gear
Jeremy once drove a Lamborghini, that peasants like journalists
are allowed to drive his sacrosanct car is beyond him, it should
be taboo to the populace, only billionaires like himself should
be allowed anywhere near it
Rounding a corner, he crashes into the humble car of Valiantsina
Hrybouskaya, our heroine, her car broke down in the middle of
the road, no Top Gear team around to bail her out, tinkle, tinkle
one of the headlamps of the Lamborghini breaks ominously
Chamsddine jumps out furiously, ready to annihilate our
heroine, but as she unfolds her Swedish beauty
He stares in wondering amazement at her svelte Swedish height
governed by a chemical reaction absolutely incomprehensible
to himself, he falls on his knees and apologises for bumping
into her car, Valiantsina looks at him with real contempt and
tells him to stop his antics and help her move her car to the
side of the road, her helpers watching from the bushes
Wait for our hero to move before jumping into his Lamborghini and
driving off at great speed, Valiantsina with them, Chamsddine
heartbroken and lost, did you think this is a comedy? – No,
this is a most horrible tragedy, to lose a Lamborghini
is the worst pain a man can ever feel…
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A Daydreaming Drive
My fate’s assured, early morning visit to Alet, I
shall beg, steal or borrow her Staal Burger film
to refine my GPS dreams, applied my lipstick -
practising to look enticing within the context
of a home-grown super-spy surrounded by a
bevy of beauties - yet
I shall not don knee-boots with a mini-dress à la
Twiggy as befits his era, I am much too dignified
and he is ancient indeed, all that interests me is
his wonderful voice evoking dreams, reminding
me of the most wonderful place I knew in my
youth - my brothers’ room
Where the tape-recorder lived, my favourite gadget,
recording stories and my own little shows, and the
radio, listening to the tongue-in-cheek spy series
topping James Bond: Staal Burger, his sidekick
Willem and henchman Oom Zack, their faithful
housekeeper Da-Da
I refined my dreams of Staal Burger being the GPS
voice telling me where to go languidly, in inimitable
Daan Retief-style, laughing at the world, making fun
of all superspies, including me in his make-believe
world of excitement, every trip would change into
a new undercover adventure
With Staal sighing in decreasing tones, forte to piano:
….HMF-
….……-HMf-
….………….-Hmf-
………….………...-hmf-
Oom Zack making a
speech and Willem sniffing audibly
in a daydreaming drive…
shall beg, steal or borrow her Staal Burger film
to refine my GPS dreams, applied my lipstick -
practising to look enticing within the context
of a home-grown super-spy surrounded by a
bevy of beauties - yet
I shall not don knee-boots with a mini-dress à la
Twiggy as befits his era, I am much too dignified
and he is ancient indeed, all that interests me is
his wonderful voice evoking dreams, reminding
me of the most wonderful place I knew in my
youth - my brothers’ room
Where the tape-recorder lived, my favourite gadget,
recording stories and my own little shows, and the
radio, listening to the tongue-in-cheek spy series
topping James Bond: Staal Burger, his sidekick
Willem and henchman Oom Zack, their faithful
housekeeper Da-Da
I refined my dreams of Staal Burger being the GPS
voice telling me where to go languidly, in inimitable
Daan Retief-style, laughing at the world, making fun
of all superspies, including me in his make-believe
world of excitement, every trip would change into
a new undercover adventure
With Staal sighing in decreasing tones, forte to piano:
….HMF-
….……-HMf-
….………….-Hmf-
………….………...-hmf-
Oom Zack making a
speech and Willem sniffing audibly
in a daydreaming drive…
My Hero Staal
Told my colleagues about the GPS voice speaking
Afrikaans on your new cell-phone, sounding so very
unmelodious, sharp, almost shrill, then Karen said
– Then who would you prefer, Staal Burger’s voice
perchance - As my eyes lit up at the thought, they
all pointed at me and laughed
In my mind’s eye I could visualise the scene, me
driving happily, Daan Retief announcing in his velvet
Staal Burger voice “Draai regs hiervoor, ‘n-Doedie-van
-my” and Dada going in the background - the rest of the
cast has to be there, of course – “Da!” and when I don’t
turn, Staal saying, “Draai om, Doedie-ou-ding”
As I continue to ignore his directions, I can hear him saying
conspiratorily “Ry jy nie verkeerd nie, né” and then, “Draai
nou hiervoor, Doedie-van-my” and as I ignore him again,
as if I would have the temerity - he sighs in his sexy way
“Maak-‘n-wettige-U-draai, Doedie-ou-ding” and Da-Da
saying “My meneer, Da! my meneer…”
As I drive on in seventh heaven, enfolded in the cloak of
Daan Retief’s enticing Staal-voice - I’ll probably end up in
Timbuktu, even Ouagadougou, but the trip will have been
worth-while - Tiaan declares he would never get into a
car led by my hero Staal’s GPS – as if I care!
Free translation:
“Draai regs hiervoor, ‘n-Doedie-van -my” – “Turn right
here, my sweet”
“Draai om, Doedie-ou-ding” – “Turn around, my sweet”
“Ry jy nie verkeerd nie, né” – “We are losing our way, isn’t it”
“Draai nou hiervoor, Doedie-van-my” – “Turn dead ahead,
my sweet”
“Maak-‘n-wettige-U-draai, Doedie-ou-ding” – “Make a legal
U-turn, my sweet”
“My meneer, Da! my meneer…” – “My boss, Da! My boss…”
Afrikaans on your new cell-phone, sounding so very
unmelodious, sharp, almost shrill, then Karen said
– Then who would you prefer, Staal Burger’s voice
perchance - As my eyes lit up at the thought, they
all pointed at me and laughed
In my mind’s eye I could visualise the scene, me
driving happily, Daan Retief announcing in his velvet
Staal Burger voice “Draai regs hiervoor, ‘n-Doedie-van
-my” and Dada going in the background - the rest of the
cast has to be there, of course – “Da!” and when I don’t
turn, Staal saying, “Draai om, Doedie-ou-ding”
As I continue to ignore his directions, I can hear him saying
conspiratorily “Ry jy nie verkeerd nie, né” and then, “Draai
nou hiervoor, Doedie-van-my” and as I ignore him again,
as if I would have the temerity - he sighs in his sexy way
“Maak-‘n-wettige-U-draai, Doedie-ou-ding” and Da-Da
saying “My meneer, Da! my meneer…”
As I drive on in seventh heaven, enfolded in the cloak of
Daan Retief’s enticing Staal-voice - I’ll probably end up in
Timbuktu, even Ouagadougou, but the trip will have been
worth-while - Tiaan declares he would never get into a
car led by my hero Staal’s GPS – as if I care!
Free translation:
“Draai regs hiervoor, ‘n-Doedie-van -my” – “Turn right
here, my sweet”
“Draai om, Doedie-ou-ding” – “Turn around, my sweet”
“Ry jy nie verkeerd nie, né” – “We are losing our way, isn’t it”
“Draai nou hiervoor, Doedie-van-my” – “Turn dead ahead,
my sweet”
“Maak-‘n-wettige-U-draai, Doedie-ou-ding” – “Make a legal
U-turn, my sweet”
“My meneer, Da! my meneer…” – “My boss, Da! My boss…”
Solid, warm, full of Meaning
"The pragmatic method," says William James, "interprets each concept
by tracing its practical consequences."
The value of concepts whose practical consequences cannot be experienced
scientifically, is determined by choice.
When two hypotheses cannot be tested scientifically, we choose one on the
basis of utility.
The question of God’s existence is reduced to:
"What are the practical consequences of believing that matter produces
all things, or of believing that God exists and the world is his work of
providence?"
In the first hypothesis the world appears enshrouded in the coldness of
death; in the second hypothesis the world appears solid, warm, full of
real meaning.
Therefore I choose the second hypothesis - it enables me to live a
happy, productive life, while the first landed me in mental hospital.
William James said “truth” is a USEFUL "lead" which changes as human
experience changes.
The morality and truth of an idea should be judged in the same way, in
terms of its outcome in human experience.
In The Will to Believe (1897) and The Varieties of Religious Experience
(1902) James examined “belief” when there is no immediate evidence
on which to base belief.
In religious commitment, belief creates its own truth through the effects
in the believer’s experience. Belief in God is pragmatically justified IF
it makes a positive difference in the experience of the believer.
In A Pluralistic Universe (1909) and Essays in Radical Empiricism (1912)
James developed his metaphysical position:
There is no fixed external world to be discovered, but instead a "humming-
buzzing confusion" that we organise through experience.
The universe and our knowledge of it, is continuously evolving. Never
complete, it cannot be reduced to a single underlying substance.
The test of a theory or belief or doctrine lies in its effect upon us, its
practical consequences; the pragmatic test - whatever works is true.
Truth is a means to vital satisfaction. Knowledge is an instrument,
a practical utility.
True ideas can be assimilated, validated, corroborated and verified.
Truth is useful.
Reality is our sensations coming from what we know not.
Reality is total consciousness, experience permeated with thought.
Reality is ever in the making, growing where thinking beings are at work.
Pluralism recognizes individual perceptions.
In such a world humankind is free to seek their ideal.
James's psychology is the foundation to his Empiricism.
Consciousness is active, selective and carves out our world.
The will, focused on one idea and excluding all others, fills the
mind and prepares for action.
The intellect imputes reality to things through the emotions and
activities and conceives things pragmatically.
Pragmatism asks its usual question: "If an idea or belief is true,
what concrete difference will this make in our actual life?
How will the truth be realized?
What experiences will be different from those we would have
if the belief were false?
Pragmatism says truth is how one experience leads us towards
other worthwhile experiences.
All material quoted from:
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Excerpted from Pragmatism, by William James
Books by and about William James http://radicalacademy.com/bksjames.htm
by tracing its practical consequences."
The value of concepts whose practical consequences cannot be experienced
scientifically, is determined by choice.
When two hypotheses cannot be tested scientifically, we choose one on the
basis of utility.
The question of God’s existence is reduced to:
"What are the practical consequences of believing that matter produces
all things, or of believing that God exists and the world is his work of
providence?"
In the first hypothesis the world appears enshrouded in the coldness of
death; in the second hypothesis the world appears solid, warm, full of
real meaning.
Therefore I choose the second hypothesis - it enables me to live a
happy, productive life, while the first landed me in mental hospital.
William James said “truth” is a USEFUL "lead" which changes as human
experience changes.
The morality and truth of an idea should be judged in the same way, in
terms of its outcome in human experience.
In The Will to Believe (1897) and The Varieties of Religious Experience
(1902) James examined “belief” when there is no immediate evidence
on which to base belief.
In religious commitment, belief creates its own truth through the effects
in the believer’s experience. Belief in God is pragmatically justified IF
it makes a positive difference in the experience of the believer.
In A Pluralistic Universe (1909) and Essays in Radical Empiricism (1912)
James developed his metaphysical position:
There is no fixed external world to be discovered, but instead a "humming-
buzzing confusion" that we organise through experience.
The universe and our knowledge of it, is continuously evolving. Never
complete, it cannot be reduced to a single underlying substance.
The test of a theory or belief or doctrine lies in its effect upon us, its
practical consequences; the pragmatic test - whatever works is true.
Truth is a means to vital satisfaction. Knowledge is an instrument,
a practical utility.
True ideas can be assimilated, validated, corroborated and verified.
Truth is useful.
Reality is our sensations coming from what we know not.
Reality is total consciousness, experience permeated with thought.
Reality is ever in the making, growing where thinking beings are at work.
Pluralism recognizes individual perceptions.
In such a world humankind is free to seek their ideal.
James's psychology is the foundation to his Empiricism.
Consciousness is active, selective and carves out our world.
The will, focused on one idea and excluding all others, fills the
mind and prepares for action.
The intellect imputes reality to things through the emotions and
activities and conceives things pragmatically.
Pragmatism asks its usual question: "If an idea or belief is true,
what concrete difference will this make in our actual life?
How will the truth be realized?
What experiences will be different from those we would have
if the belief were false?
Pragmatism says truth is how one experience leads us towards
other worthwhile experiences.
All material quoted from:
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Excerpted from Pragmatism, by William James
Books by and about William James http://radicalacademy.com/bksjames.htm
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Leave Freedom Intact
Religions, philosophies and various world views
pragmatically evaluating the effect of all kinds of
beliefs, it is impossible to abide to any dogma or
organised religious institution, unthinkable to give
away my own responsibility or authority to a self-
assigned prophet
One set of teachings sets my mind racing and creates
space for self-direction: Seth’s books as published by
Jane Roberts - Seth’s description of reality leaves
freedom intact, and I like that!
Seth says, in a nutshell:
* Physical reality arises from consciousness, not the other way around
* We create our own reality
* We are not at the mercy of a disjointed deity or subconscious
* We are multi-dimensional beings; more than our physical bodies
* Time and space are dimensional “illusions” we jointly create and
by which we tacitly agree to abide
* At the core of our being, we reside in a realm in which time and
space do not exist
* We are creative spiritual beings having an earthly experience
* The fate of each of us is in our own hands
* We have multiple, perhaps infinite, life experiences. Problems not
faced in this life will be faced in another
* We cannot blame God, society, or our parents for “misfortunes,”
since before this physical life we chose the circumstances into which
we would be born and the challenges that could best bring about
our development
* We form physical matter as effortlessly and unselfconsciously as
we breathe. Telepathically, we are all aware of the mass ideas from
which we form our overall conception of physical reality
Metaphysics is defined as the branch of philosophy that examines
the nature of reality including the relationship between mind and
matter, substance and attribute, fact and value
Seth admonishes his readers to approach these matters not as mere
observers, not as victims of chance or some celestial clockmaker, but
as spiritually intelligent creatures
All material quoted from:
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Jane Roberts (1929--1984), a writer of fiction, non-fiction and poetry, is
considered one of the most important psychics of the twentieth century.
Seth referred to himself as an “old ghost.” He admonished readers to
think for themselves, trust their own instincts and question everything
including his own writings.
There are two decades of dictated material, some published;
recorded on lined paper in Rob’s block lettering.
Sweeping, complex, interconnected and elegant, the volume
of work has received the ultimate academic blessing.
Boxes of Rob’s original Seth notes reside permanently in the prestigious
Yale Archives in New Haven, where volunteers commit Seth’s words to a
comprehensive computer database.
pragmatically evaluating the effect of all kinds of
beliefs, it is impossible to abide to any dogma or
organised religious institution, unthinkable to give
away my own responsibility or authority to a self-
assigned prophet
One set of teachings sets my mind racing and creates
space for self-direction: Seth’s books as published by
Jane Roberts - Seth’s description of reality leaves
freedom intact, and I like that!
Seth says, in a nutshell:
* Physical reality arises from consciousness, not the other way around
* We create our own reality
* We are not at the mercy of a disjointed deity or subconscious
* We are multi-dimensional beings; more than our physical bodies
* Time and space are dimensional “illusions” we jointly create and
by which we tacitly agree to abide
* At the core of our being, we reside in a realm in which time and
space do not exist
* We are creative spiritual beings having an earthly experience
* The fate of each of us is in our own hands
* We have multiple, perhaps infinite, life experiences. Problems not
faced in this life will be faced in another
* We cannot blame God, society, or our parents for “misfortunes,”
since before this physical life we chose the circumstances into which
we would be born and the challenges that could best bring about
our development
* We form physical matter as effortlessly and unselfconsciously as
we breathe. Telepathically, we are all aware of the mass ideas from
which we form our overall conception of physical reality
Metaphysics is defined as the branch of philosophy that examines
the nature of reality including the relationship between mind and
matter, substance and attribute, fact and value
Seth admonishes his readers to approach these matters not as mere
observers, not as victims of chance or some celestial clockmaker, but
as spiritually intelligent creatures
All material quoted from:
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Jane Roberts (1929--1984), a writer of fiction, non-fiction and poetry, is
considered one of the most important psychics of the twentieth century.
Seth referred to himself as an “old ghost.” He admonished readers to
think for themselves, trust their own instincts and question everything
including his own writings.
There are two decades of dictated material, some published;
recorded on lined paper in Rob’s block lettering.
Sweeping, complex, interconnected and elegant, the volume
of work has received the ultimate academic blessing.
Boxes of Rob’s original Seth notes reside permanently in the prestigious
Yale Archives in New Haven, where volunteers commit Seth’s words to a
comprehensive computer database.
Helpless Concern
*
The process of detoxification ground to a halt tonight
the problem is increasing, every time I look at the girl
on the front page of Time magazine, Aisha, a young
Afghan girl whose nose and ears were cut off by
order of the Taliban, I cry again
The crime is atrocious, by now I should be inured to the
shock element, yet her plight scares me, feeds the fear
that worsens the allergy, I cry for her experience of pain,
for a world that contains hypocrites using religion as an
excuse to commit heinous crimes
No progress was made in regaining equilibrium, looking for
that safe place deep in my heart, the calm in the eye of the
storm, cannot concentrate to read or sleep while under
threat of meaninglessness in the belief we have to
assign significance to the world
When feeling like this, I lose all meaning, tomorrow
the quest for wisdom will begin again, not eating food
causing trouble, knowing the bright colours of magic and
the glitter of mystery will return as soon as these dark
moments pass - even my beloved storybooks
Are sliding from my grip, my head turned into stone, my
heart only resonates with pain, impossible to confess
illness and face other people’s helpless concern,
must solve this problem myself…
*
The process of detoxification ground to a halt tonight
the problem is increasing, every time I look at the girl
on the front page of Time magazine, Aisha, a young
Afghan girl whose nose and ears were cut off by
order of the Taliban, I cry again
The crime is atrocious, by now I should be inured to the
shock element, yet her plight scares me, feeds the fear
that worsens the allergy, I cry for her experience of pain,
for a world that contains hypocrites using religion as an
excuse to commit heinous crimes
No progress was made in regaining equilibrium, looking for
that safe place deep in my heart, the calm in the eye of the
storm, cannot concentrate to read or sleep while under
threat of meaninglessness in the belief we have to
assign significance to the world
When feeling like this, I lose all meaning, tomorrow
the quest for wisdom will begin again, not eating food
causing trouble, knowing the bright colours of magic and
the glitter of mystery will return as soon as these dark
moments pass - even my beloved storybooks
Are sliding from my grip, my head turned into stone, my
heart only resonates with pain, impossible to confess
illness and face other people’s helpless concern,
must solve this problem myself…
*
Fun With Pragmatism
I could not get hold of Buscaglia’s books but
found William James instead, after explaining
his Pragmatism a kindly analyst virtuously made
critical comments, complaining that James took
eternal truths away and left nothing in their place
If there is no dogma with eternal validity, he cries,
man has no hope left in the religious department
I was surprised, cannot he see man has no hope
in all eternity of deciding between all the eternal
validities confronting him in a myriad religions
How should man decide between Christ and
Krisna, Mohammed and Buddha if EVERY dogma
insists on being exclusively true? I prefer James’
theory that there are as many gods as there are
individuals on earth, satisfaction derived from
Religion is a personal choice, if James’ critic and
his cronies prefer Christianity - let them enjoy it
without fighting others who believe differently,
James’ argument creates space for other
beliefs, anybody dependent on dogma
In organised religion in order to feel safe has
many problems, I do not wish to be in their
shoes, I prefer to listen to William James
and work on finding truth through
Pragmatism…
*******************************************
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Excerpted from Pragmatism, by William James
Books by and about William James http://radicalacademy.com/bksjames.htm
CRITICAL NOTES: James's discovery of the subconscious mind
was a great contribution to psychology. But we [author unknown]
cannot accept James's doctrine that spiritual values originate in
the irrational subconscious mind, thus founded on irrationality.
James may be the father of Modernism; but his religious position
is in opposition to basic pragmatism, it does not lead to a solution
of practical certitude and justification of the universe.
If spiritual reality is found in analysis of psychological emotions
and religious sentiment, objective Christian dogma [aha, and
Buddhism and Hinduism?] is replaced by subjective exigencies
of individuals, and every believer creates his own religion, his
own truth, Modernism.
The nature of God will be understood differently according to
religious emotions creating a pluralistic conception of Divinity.
God is finite, exists in time, a creator of His own story.
How can any satisfaction be found in such a religion? [I, on the
other hand, cannot find satisfaction in dogma.]
Our aspirations are not fulfilled, there is no certitude, no hope,
no absolute. How can a limited God guarantee the order of the
physical and human world? What is left of the world of spirits?
[The God created by mankind is such a scary, judgmental
construct, why try to believe in man’s own creations?]
Religious Pragmatism replaces dogmatic, absolute and universal
truth with the personal fancies of the man in the street. [The so-
called dogmatic is only true in so far as BELIEF is invested in it,
without belief, there is no proof and the EFFECT, pragmatically, is
highly unsalutary – wars and disrespect for opposing beliefs.]
It is immoral - if truth depends upon feeling, any action is justified
by virtue of the satisfaction it procures. Such a philosophy makes
man his own judge and leads to moral anarchy. [NO, it leads to
FREEDOM and acceptance of responsibility, the author pleads
here that HIS view of moral good be forced on all others, that
is moral dictatorship.
Once people know through experience what kind of actions bring
TRUE satisfaction, they will carry out those actions – but since all
people are attacked and reviled from birth, civilisation and society
make monsters of all of us – all criminals and perverts are the result
of our current immoral society and its hypocritical laws and tyranny.
Since society has outlawed human nature unless a person has a
high income and can hide his sin successfully, all poor people are
branded criminals for their needs and desires. Since natural
instincts like the desire for good food are criminal when you
are poor, laws stipulating the poor shall not steal while
aiding and abetting the rich to exploit the poor, make
criminals of ALL of us.]
* Essay: by William James
found William James instead, after explaining
his Pragmatism a kindly analyst virtuously made
critical comments, complaining that James took
eternal truths away and left nothing in their place
If there is no dogma with eternal validity, he cries,
man has no hope left in the religious department
I was surprised, cannot he see man has no hope
in all eternity of deciding between all the eternal
validities confronting him in a myriad religions
How should man decide between Christ and
Krisna, Mohammed and Buddha if EVERY dogma
insists on being exclusively true? I prefer James’
theory that there are as many gods as there are
individuals on earth, satisfaction derived from
Religion is a personal choice, if James’ critic and
his cronies prefer Christianity - let them enjoy it
without fighting others who believe differently,
James’ argument creates space for other
beliefs, anybody dependent on dogma
In organised religion in order to feel safe has
many problems, I do not wish to be in their
shoes, I prefer to listen to William James
and work on finding truth through
Pragmatism…
*******************************************
http://www.the-office.com/seth/
Excerpted from Pragmatism, by William James
Books by and about William James http://radicalacademy.com/bksjames.htm
CRITICAL NOTES: James's discovery of the subconscious mind
was a great contribution to psychology. But we [author unknown]
cannot accept James's doctrine that spiritual values originate in
the irrational subconscious mind, thus founded on irrationality.
James may be the father of Modernism; but his religious position
is in opposition to basic pragmatism, it does not lead to a solution
of practical certitude and justification of the universe.
If spiritual reality is found in analysis of psychological emotions
and religious sentiment, objective Christian dogma [aha, and
Buddhism and Hinduism?] is replaced by subjective exigencies
of individuals, and every believer creates his own religion, his
own truth, Modernism.
The nature of God will be understood differently according to
religious emotions creating a pluralistic conception of Divinity.
God is finite, exists in time, a creator of His own story.
How can any satisfaction be found in such a religion? [I, on the
other hand, cannot find satisfaction in dogma.]
Our aspirations are not fulfilled, there is no certitude, no hope,
no absolute. How can a limited God guarantee the order of the
physical and human world? What is left of the world of spirits?
[The God created by mankind is such a scary, judgmental
construct, why try to believe in man’s own creations?]
Religious Pragmatism replaces dogmatic, absolute and universal
truth with the personal fancies of the man in the street. [The so-
called dogmatic is only true in so far as BELIEF is invested in it,
without belief, there is no proof and the EFFECT, pragmatically, is
highly unsalutary – wars and disrespect for opposing beliefs.]
It is immoral - if truth depends upon feeling, any action is justified
by virtue of the satisfaction it procures. Such a philosophy makes
man his own judge and leads to moral anarchy. [NO, it leads to
FREEDOM and acceptance of responsibility, the author pleads
here that HIS view of moral good be forced on all others, that
is moral dictatorship.
Once people know through experience what kind of actions bring
TRUE satisfaction, they will carry out those actions – but since all
people are attacked and reviled from birth, civilisation and society
make monsters of all of us – all criminals and perverts are the result
of our current immoral society and its hypocritical laws and tyranny.
Since society has outlawed human nature unless a person has a
high income and can hide his sin successfully, all poor people are
branded criminals for their needs and desires. Since natural
instincts like the desire for good food are criminal when you
are poor, laws stipulating the poor shall not steal while
aiding and abetting the rich to exploit the poor, make
criminals of ALL of us.]
* Essay: by William James
Monday, August 2, 2010
Parenthood
*
Tiaan insists on playing cricket, I was glad
when the rugby season came to an end, no
more stopping at home after work just to climb
back in the car and drive straight back to town
to collect Tiaan, I misguidedly thought - HAH!
Was I ever so wrong, Tiaan saved up, bought
a new cricket bag, his dad bought a smart new
bat and a snow-white cricket hat, once again
home is only a detour after work, I must turn
around and drive back to town as before
He used to hate cricket, now he’s going back
I used to hate watching them play – oh well,
at least I need not stay and watch them, I
take a book everywhere and read until they
are finished - it’s just the principle
Driving up and down like a jack-in-the-box –
parenthood is SUCH marvelous fun…
*
Tiaan insists on playing cricket, I was glad
when the rugby season came to an end, no
more stopping at home after work just to climb
back in the car and drive straight back to town
to collect Tiaan, I misguidedly thought - HAH!
Was I ever so wrong, Tiaan saved up, bought
a new cricket bag, his dad bought a smart new
bat and a snow-white cricket hat, once again
home is only a detour after work, I must turn
around and drive back to town as before
He used to hate cricket, now he’s going back
I used to hate watching them play – oh well,
at least I need not stay and watch them, I
take a book everywhere and read until they
are finished - it’s just the principle
Driving up and down like a jack-in-the-box –
parenthood is SUCH marvelous fun…
*
Leo Buscaglia’s Books
*
Fear stirring again, fear that pain will not stop, I must
find a way of embracing pain like Charlotte Bronte
explained, crush it in my hand like a scorpion until
the poison is spent and my hand is numb
Learn to be resigned with my limitations, to be grateful
for everything, fear cannot run my life, I cannot confide
in anyone lest they should share the feeling of failure
with me, success lies in cold discipline
If Charlotte Bronte could survive her lonely Brussels stay
I can work through my lonely spells also, if I eat the right
things, I will feel well again, must not allow unhappiness
to keep me back, if Kathryn Hulme’s nun got through
The terrible discipline of convent life, I can do the same, when
I tell my sorrows to someone I suffer their well-earned censure
surely I can learn to keep my own counsel and how to accept
responsibility for my own problems
Fear is irrational, pain is short-lived, I shall be well again, the
allergy will make me strong, I shall read Leo Buscaglia’s books
and wrap myself in the warmth of his enthusiasm and love…
*
Fear stirring again, fear that pain will not stop, I must
find a way of embracing pain like Charlotte Bronte
explained, crush it in my hand like a scorpion until
the poison is spent and my hand is numb
Learn to be resigned with my limitations, to be grateful
for everything, fear cannot run my life, I cannot confide
in anyone lest they should share the feeling of failure
with me, success lies in cold discipline
If Charlotte Bronte could survive her lonely Brussels stay
I can work through my lonely spells also, if I eat the right
things, I will feel well again, must not allow unhappiness
to keep me back, if Kathryn Hulme’s nun got through
The terrible discipline of convent life, I can do the same, when
I tell my sorrows to someone I suffer their well-earned censure
surely I can learn to keep my own counsel and how to accept
responsibility for my own problems
Fear is irrational, pain is short-lived, I shall be well again, the
allergy will make me strong, I shall read Leo Buscaglia’s books
and wrap myself in the warmth of his enthusiasm and love…
*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
“This boy’s gonna make it” – ‘n heildronk op my ma, Annemarie: Dit gaan soms broekskeur om met familie klaar te kom want "Famil...
-
Found a perfect rendition of the Arabic alphabet on the Internet, trying to remember the letter KHa is pronounced with a guttural G... -
Looking for the good, ignoring the sad (anything we dislike), according to Abraham’s (Esther Hick’s) website: “You cannot look at what you ...