Attack Is Attracted

Self-preservation through mutual respect seems so

logical - so obvious - thus you must forgive me when

I suspect brain damage in the case of my friend Vicky

who never gives an inch to anybody as she believes

this world is unjust, thus she seeks to create trouble

Wherever she goes to produce evidence to confirm her

belief that the world is a bad place and NOBODY is to

be trusted, Vicky walks through the world with her fists

up - ready to protect herself from attack - with such a

belligerent attitude that attack is attracted & invariably

Comes to prove her darkest suspicions - - yet if she’d

only be kind and considerate; she would find that the

world is a wonderful, happy place where people help

each other without ever requiring aggression to get

anything done: Vicky lives on her own planet where

Everyone is out to get her - especially me as I have -

 apparently - deprived Vicky of sustenance since she

has known me when we were kids and so she uses

her powers to evoke antagonism - as angry people

make her feel she has proof for her theory that the

 

WHOLE world is out to get her…

Harmony And Freedom

It would be so easy to accept we can’t talk to each other,

communication quite impossible as honesty is illegal and

prohibited - since my goal is to be happy, not proving that

I’m right or that I have rights, not winning arguments - or

revealing my thoughts - and

 

You automatically take the opposite side of any opinion I

express, you reject the validity of every feeling I reveal, it

is the total destruction of peace and contentment when we

discuss anything honestly; and since my goal is harmony

and freedom from quarrels - and

 

Disagreements - the best policy thus is a happy silence in

which my thoughts are free - never to be tethered by any

power on earth or in heaven…

https://youtu.be/H7ovCbdLCfk

Time Loops Stretch Into Infinity [Revised]

The ballet Nutcracker presents me with a sensory overload,

I can watch it piecemeal one segment at a time, there is so

much to take in - the music is glorious and the dancers are

magical, but when it comes at me all at once on it’s own it

is a hammer hitting me right between the eyes

 

Tonight I’m watching The Waltz of the Flowers on a loop to

try and survive, to enjoy the experience instead of riding on

the fast-moving train of a whole ballet which runs me over -

and I fall asleep with fatigue due to sensory overload, so here

it goes - the Internet was invented for me -

 

To watch my favourite ballet piecemeal, enjoy every moment

created by a framework of steel-reality, and from which the

endless diagonal, horizontal and vertical time loops can be

stretched into infinity…

Dream Not Easily Fulfilled [Revised]

If only it were possible to take advantage 

of Seth’s information that we’re not living 

our various reincarnations consecutively 

but all at the same time - simultaneously 

 

I keep wondering - would it have been fun 

to experience more than one life and share

ideas - maybe we’re synthesising the insights 

gained already - and while we’re all alive

in the various realities our lives unfold in 

 

Although for me it is not possible to peek

beyond the iron framework of this reality

into mysterious realms beyond the five 

senses - just trying to trust my 6^th sense

is a dream which is not so easily fulfilled

 

[Jane Roberts: “Seth Speaks”]

This Headache Explodes [Revised]

Every time this headache explodes and I drive my

cerebral limo over the cliff into the abyss, a very

kind guru assures me I am alone in my pain; the

non-physical energy never accompanies anybody

into trial and tribulation as it is the purely human,

 

physical manifestation of sanguine vibrations gone

wrong - and while my mental vehicle plunges to the

ground, I cannot stop it - because a quantum leap

from pain into happiness is highly improbable - so

I accept the grey emptiness after my fall and nurse

 

red-hot pain until the lava streams have changed

into black volcanic rock and grey ashes - when the

headache exploded again today, right after I used

a new toothpaste, I decided to get rid of it and test

the theory that it might be the culprit: suffering so

 

much pain without spiritual advantage or mental

gain is idiotic - and I can’t go through it again…

A Million Angels

People who criticise are sour, bitter and evil; criminals

are attracted to hateful spitefulness and attack these  

people to let them enjoy their self-fulfilling prophesies

 

In our country security companies keep us safe & happy,

problems are dealt with by the community and charities;

like every country in the world we have rules; you’re not

 

Allowed to go walkabout in the Kruger National Park where

lions abound, while idiots break rules and get eaten by the

lions; rational people know those rules save lives: We have

 

Rules about where we live and when we go out, so as not to

be attacked by wild animals and criminals - and then we all

live together, hippos and giraffes and criminals and security

 

Guards and civilians like us, in happiness and love without

eating each other: People live on islands - the hateful and

spiteful meet up with each other, and self-righteous victims

 

Always find oppressors; ignorant, fearful & anxious types

who refuse to trust in love & rational action for their safety,

attract criminals like a magnet - that is why it is said that

 

You will be safe when you TRUST in the higher power of

Love, wherever we go a light shines on us as a million

angels are taking care of us - and for that matter -

 

A million angels are taking care of you too!       

Need To Face Foes [Rev]

Growing up in a swirling, churning tornado threatening to 

destroy all in a moment, safety lies in finding the storm’s 

eye & isolating within an ivory tower: today life just doesn’t 

feel right with no horizon-menacing tornado; so, when 

life flows so smoothly less any problems forcing me

 

Weather storms by climbing onto a raft and sailing away 

over the horizon - it demonstrates something’s wrong, I 

need to face foes - to wrestle them to the ground - or 

cajole and scold the broke-hearted into improving 

themselves - otherwise I just become a lazy drifter on

 

The edge of life, binge-watching TV series and loosing

contact with reality, scrutinising lives of my loved ones to 

see where I can offer unsolicited advice; but my acerbic

tongue makes my beloved’s chary of attempts to pull them

up against their will - sometimes I have to watch their self-

 

Destructive behaviour without interfering in a self-inflicted

misery - I realise that only experience can teach - words

cannot reach the heart of anyone without their trying out

things for themselves; I have done the most idiotic things

in my journey through life and now have to respect the

 

Right of others to learn through trial and error - yet I would

love to be giving them guidance, though it would probably

constitute inspiring them from frying pan into the fire…

Intersubjective World And Subjective Reality

Christmas Markets in Europe, a brightly lighted carousel,

vaulted domes enclosing a fun fair in a Parisian cathedral

dedicated to delight & a border between India & Pakistan

 

Soldiers express hostility by only marching aggressively,

cheered by the crowds, joyously hilarious, thus diffusing

confrontational feelings without causing war - this world

 

Is filled with beautiful things - & for a few moments it lights

a spark in your mind, then your thoughts return to yourself,

domestic routines and loved ones - & if you can’t succeed

 

In penetrating the mystery of relationships, & if you can’t

experience and show love, if people are simply subjects

placed on earth to serve you - or beautiful objects to be

 

Admired from afar as their lovability is determined by their

ability to admire your superiority - while you remain blind

to their needs - then you are living in your head and you

 

Will be happy in your dreams & imagination only because

in the intersubjective world your heart is locked & closed-

off to your loved ones sharing subjective reality with you

Lurching Is Changing Into Looming

Though I’m a Golem with a Chem in my head instructing

me to do my duty - I’ve been changed into a Zombie by

eating a Brownie triggering allergy - so now I’m a brain-

dead idiot with muscles so weak, I can only ride my bike

at lowest gear and paddle in the pool & struggle to kick

a ball for my dog to catch - but it doesn’t matter -

 

That Brownie was exquisite, not a common garden variety,

came from an exotic bakery and brought to me lovingly by

a darling daughter who doesn’t eat sweets herself: lurching

like a Zombie is a price I’m willing to pay for the lovely taste,

- though I must say that my eyes not being able to focus is

quite a drawback - & my fervent desire to eat raw meat

 

To restore balance to my system is quite frustrating; maybe

next time when my Beloved counsels me - Don’t eat that, it

will make you ill - I shall listen because lurching is changing

into looming & being blind to boot, is irritating - I can’t enjoy

the beautiful world being as blind as a bat & I can’t carry out

the instructions written on the Chem in my head….

 

[Golem: Clay person with sacred words written on paper in

its head - instructing the Golem to work hard, à la Terry

Pratchett, Zombie: person without mind lurching about]  

For My Best Friend

I’ve a comrade for all eternity with Barbara

Liebenberg as my confederate, she offers

me unconditional acceptance - she is the

most loyal person I have ever met: when

she saw my little poems many years ago

 

She immediately offered to type them for

me - still has them in her files; & she has

never forgotten my attempts to explain my

feelings in poetic form: today she says she

feels inspired by my little poems, and she

 

Still supports my writing attempts - though

she has not specialised in reading poetry,

for me she looks at poetic lines and takes

care to let me know - no other friend has

ever taken such a positive interest in my

 

Dream of trying to write a poem which

expresses how I feel…

 

[I met Barbara in 1988]

Have Adventures Galore

After reading my children’s book I realise that I feel

like a child, wild and inspired with a head full of air,

older people usually read grown-up books filled with

cynical & dark grown-up ideas & experiences, while

my children’s books make me feel the world is new

 

And so am I, I don’t feel my age at all, I want to play

and romp and daydream and laugh and tell jokes -

then when my peer group starts talking about the sad

world with serious demeanour and responsible faces,

I feel fidgetty & bored & I conjure up a young heroine

 

To be a substitute me and have adventures galore, I

used to feel guilty about this, but since I don’t have to

do serious translations with boring research anymore,

I’m free to daydream as much as I want & not feeling

old is the best feeling there is… 

Rid The World Of Punishment

I’m a ‘Johnny Come Late’ to this ethical debate: does

the means justify the end when a criminal commits

fraud in a friendly, accommodating & helpful way;

does his kindness towards his victims justify his

 

Breaking the law, does the contribution of a murderer

to another murder victim’s family, justify his killing the

original murderer? TV series like Dexter and Blacklist

and movies like ‘Catch Me If You Can’ imply that the

 

Kind means employed in breaking the law and taking

revenge on murderers who evade the law justifies the

end result: Justice & Revenge for their victims; & this

reminds of Terry Pratchett’s ‘Going Postal’ in which

 

Moist von Lipwig is a scallywag, a likeable fraudster

who always acts respectfully towards his victims and

uses people’s avarice against themselves, which does

seem to be these covetous’ people just reward - and

 

We all cheer Dexter, serial killer of proven murderers,

and ‘The Good Samaritan’ in the Blacklist series who

replicates the injuries his victims caused their loved

ones, to make them feel the same pain - the

 

Principle of “an eye for an eye” makes so much sense

when looking at South Africa where the criminals are

protected, now we are a failed state where the railway

service has been dismantled by criminals - and

 

ESKOM, state provider of electricity, is destroyed by

nepotism & sabotage - since idiots decided to rid the

world of punishment, the criminals in government &

civil society destroyed the state almost completely -

 

As private individuals & private security companies

keep the system running for privileged individuals,

wrong-doing is mostly protected in our country &   

government is led by the incompetent so we

 

Can’t compete with other 3rd world countries which

still maintain law and order by punishing criminals

trying to destroy the state, this destructive creed

seems to be orchestrated so that Africa

 

Can still be raped and plundered…

.......................................................................................

TV series: “Dexter” and “Blacklist”

Movies “Catch Me If You Can” Steven Spielberg

Books “Going Postal” Terry Pratchett 

Starting To Master The Art

Relaxation, letting go, being less self-aware & less

self-condemning, stop trying too hard, and learning

to follow natural impulses, to meditate: washing the

dishes while listening and swaying to music, reading

 

Stories using words like ‘beguiling, gambolling and

gargantuan’,  watching dancing on TV - adoring the

Quickstep, Chachacha, Charleston and Salsa, and

laughing at funny analogies like “giraffe wearing a

 

Thong” and “swishing downstairs doing the rolling,

mincing walk fashion models affect” & delighting in  

beautiful things, the fluorescent grass when the sun

shines its silver light on it after the rain has gone -

 

Listening to a beautiful song sung by a full-bodied

voice under perfect control, every note formed and

finished with exquisite precision; watching programs

revealing exotic life deep in the ocean’s abyss - the

 

Mantis shrimp, fishes with a transparent head so its

eyes stare right up to the surface above - things so

enchanting, beguiling and beautiful; I have trouble

turning my eyes back to the routines of normal life

 

Learning not to force my discoveries on others who

define beauty and happiness in other ways - being

content to enjoy the experiences by myself - which

means learning to respect the opinions of others -

 

That is my job, that is how relationships with other

people work and I’m starting to master the art…

Miss Him For A Long, Long Time

Now we have a new series to scare the daylights

out of us, ‘BLACKLIST’, a new scriptwriter & a new

producer who believes in being savage all the time,

the warmth and soft comfort of ‘White Collar’ is gone

 

Now Neale Caffrey’s charming face and his group of

delightful friends are lost to me and lacklustre faces

grace the TV screen, at least the action’s interesting

and the main character only kills confirmed murderers 

 

And just to save the life of the sorrowful heroine - I

would have felt tragic too if I were her, given that her

husband is an undercover spy or criminal - she has

nothing to smile about; I miss the shining eyes and

 

Mischievous smile of Neale Caffrey’s trademark style

in the ‘White Collar’ series - he really was a ray of sun-

shine and I’m going to miss him for a long, long time 

Meditate And Regain My Sang-Froid

When the death of my favourite character Neale Caffrey

was staged at the end of the sixth season of the ‘White

Collar’ series the shock was so big I couldn’t recuperate,

the way Mozzy reacted when he was confronted with

 

Neale’s body, the way Neale’s FBI Boss Peter Burke saw

Neale in reflections and glimpses in his mind’s eye - Neale

sitting in his office chair, broke my heart completely; when

it was revealed that Neale wasn’t dead I was so far gone

 

In my misery, the good news failed to revive my joie de vivre,

Neale can never return to his old friends and for all practical

purposes Neale might just as well be in heaven & Peter will

never see his friend again, Mozzy must remain alone

 

Doing cons on his own - the image of Neale wallking down a

Parisian street cannot mend my feelings, I’m still feeling sad

deep inside, now getting ready to wash the dishes the only

way to meditate and regain my sang-froid…

….………………………………………………………….....

The dishes are done and I’ve reached a resigned state, the

characters can wait, there is room to continue the story as

soon as the producers see worth in it, meantime all is well

in fantasy land and everyone is safe and I have no reason

 

To be unhappy, now it’s time to look at my own little world

where everyone is happy and safe also and where friends

come and go without getting themselves killed, where the

seasons are in place and no producer can decide to wipe

 

Those I love from the earth’s face, in this reality all is good-

ness and grace and after drinking sweet tea I feel ready to

accept my blessings & rejoice in everything I come across

Only A Melody In Music

I love so many ideas, but the material realisation

of these ideas do not hold any appeal, as ideals

these ideas are wonderful, but the manifestation

of these gives me the creeps, so it makes sense

 

That Lord Vetinari would love studying music in

written form while finding the actual performance

of these compositions offensive, in his books Sir

Terry Pratchett describes this concept clearly -

 

I wonder whether he also knew of a solution to the

problem, whether a ballet could be so ethereal, it’d

present a magical fairy realm without physical reality

intruding, maybe only a melody in music can meet

 

The requirement of being a pure idea, I would love

to be a specific melody, bright and nostalgic at the

same time - changing in texture & meaning when

played on different instruments in different styles

 

Only the sequence of notes remaining unchanged