Looks Like A Million Bucks

[Diary Notes] 

The safari-tent needed brightening, my pink-and-

blue scarf draped around the light, my pink-blue-

yellow-green scarf as my bedspread, my ego doll

in her pink roses dress on my night-stand with my

 

Project book open to bright pictures of owls - then

a picture of an elephant etched against an orange

background attached to a second light, a dark-blue

scarf with light blue cornflowers for my Beloved’s

 

Bedspread, white anchors on a navy-blue-sea bag

draped around his light, two wonderfully illustrated

Terry Prachett books on the table at the foot of the

twin beds, a Getaway on my Beloved’s nightstand,

 

A glitter scarf to frame those white anchors and the

tent looks like a million bucks, tomorrow we shall be

seeking more animals as the disemboweled giraffe

being eaten by one lion was too gruesome for us…

Humans Have Always Held Sway

[Philosophical Musing]

Driving an electronic car with a will of its own

with an electronic voice telling us where to go,

two screens: one with a picture of us, another

with a map of the world outside and an arrow

 

Showing us where we are and this is the end

of every existential crisis, the end of free will

as the car slows down when it observes an

obstacle correcting us in every way, we have

 

Become the slaves of the electronic equivalent

of Henry Higgins pointing out our every mistake,

the car is gently steering us into a glorious new

day, telling and showing us where we are in the

 

Universe and if a car can do this, what wonderful

things can be done by universal consciousness  

or even Jung’s collective subconscious; we’re all

connected by the Internet and a guru says it is

 

But an external symbol of our inner connectivity

which has been there through the ages; we are

having fun with a talking car & Tag Only passes

through the toll gates, passing a rural road with

 

Cows amiably ambling along quite unaware of us

in our strict & patronizing automobile, but wait, we

are human beings, soon we’ll find a way to override

the tricks of the car, this is the way humans have

 

Always held sway over the world and themselves 

I Adore What I Hear And Feel

[Philosophical Musing]

Planning to read Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett

and watch the first fifteen episodes of Nodame Cantabile

at night in the Kruger Park when the animals are asleep

and I’m awake and cannot go out next to the river where

hippos and crocodiles are keeping watch, getting ready I

started watching Chiaki and Nodame making music with

 

Stresemann playing Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony &

started reading Monstrous Regiment already, Polly and

her friends, especially Igor & Maladict, & Captain Jackrum

have already charmed me to such an extent I can’t see out

of my eyes: putting these joyous things away I must first

face this day, pack my bags and plan in which way we

 

Shall have our meals, making sure to think of the animals

during daytime and keep mental joy for the nights - I love

the visual delight which does not touch the mind and then

afterwards, to be filled with music and stories - as a child

I used to commiserate with the animals believing their lives

boring without self-consciousness and stories, feeling alone

 

In an unfeeling universe, then I discovered spiritual theories

that even a nail is alive with some form of consciousness &

animals enjoy the privilege and excitement of existence, & I

really started to live also - although I still need to fill my mind

with more than visual perception I know the universe is much

bigger than the one-sided sensory world - and though I love

 

What I see with my eyes, I adore what I hear & feel even more!

Straight From The Heart

[Philosophical Musing]

Thanks to the Amira-fan-site I now have a Facebook

account where I connected with family and friends &

most importantly, with Amira-fans, what a delight to

read all about Amira’s life and the loving opinions of

those who care for our young star, I used to be the

only one raving like a lunatic, every time I forwarded

 

One of her songs my former correspondents replied

with the song of another young artist and I could not

make them understand I’m not interested as I’m not

here to forward the prospects of youngsters, I’m only

interested in Amira due to her self-taught beginning

and her unique technique in learning vibrato with a

 

Shimmering within the harmonics of her notes and

stealing my heart, though I’m glad there are many

artists out there and wish them well, I resemble the

mother of one child with my heart given away to our

Amira and her life work of building playgrounds, her

pet Schilpaddie and the video clips of her life, it is a

 

Wonderful, soul-stirring experience to be dedicated

to one star with loyalty leading the way, her mother

comes from South Africa, the land of my birth where

we dream of freedom & I adore my African colleagues

and Amira is bound to the land which she loves and

we adore her passionately - through my Facebook

 

Account I can communicate with poets like Malcolm

and Daniel who make it clear that love for Amira flows

in rhythms and lines that come straight from the heart:

I try to add my Amira-odes to theirs from time to time 

Hello, Please Stay On Line

[Fantasy]

The one-legged tin soldier traveled the world after

falling through the window - after coming home he

fell ill as a result of war’s pain and stress he had to

experience in the army, but he kept doing his duty,

kept his eye on his students and explained life to

those who could not work it out on their own - he

 

Fought the evil Mandarin and helped the ballerina

balancing on one leg also to keep her balance and

to calm down when her world fell apart as she left

her little work world to become a choreperson at a

house, because the tin soldier had done it already

& knew that though the world started to sway on

 

That day, it would stabilize again and if she could

follow her star without fighting against the people

who made up her new universe, she would learn

to breathe again, when she chose a star to follow

she learned that the soldier was falling as his one

leg was giving out also, at a loss about what to do

 

In order to help such a great leader with problems,

she promised to remain conscious & aware of his

fight against life and keep in touch at all times, as

she listens to Beethoven’s Pathétique she thinks

of the beautiful music created when friends remain

faithful and she immediately calls the tin soldier to

 

Say: Hello, please stay on line and never let go…

Cowboy Classics, Wanted Them All Dead

[Diary Notes]

Movie day, time for Cowboy Classics, Clint Eastwood,

Unforgiven, great theme, never seen it before, neither

did my Beloved or Barbara and we are excited, my Little

Tin Soldier balancing on one leg is pirouetting as he is

 

Rediscovering his role in life, lifting his hand in salute and

I’m balancing within reality with hallucination and fantasy

chasing each other in my game of living with my guardian

angels - as non-physical consciousness taking an interest

 

In human affairs: the angels are my friends while conscious-

ness is trying to teach us something, I see glimpses of them

in Jane Roberts and my favourite Terry Pratchett - claiming

there are four lesser horsemen, that is Screaming, Confusion

 

Chaos and Mayhem* or something: I’ll clean the kitchen, then

some of these will depart and I hope synchronicity will play its

part in teaching me something about eternity and our role in

the larger scheme of things….

----------------------------------------------------------------------

AND the movie was awful, horrible, just the last few scenes 

where Clint Eastwood killed the sheriff and all his men were

worthwhile, yet did not make up for watching a nasty series 

of terrible scenes making me nauseous, this is the last time

I watch a movie without Googling everything, I hated this 

one, had to watch it with my friend, this is the end of any

movie club, the only beautiful thing was Clint Eastwood

accurately shooting everyone - yet a few were left alive  

Ain't that a shame - I wanted them ALL dead in the end!     

[* Panic, Bewilderment, Ignorance and Shouting - p. 40,

Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment, Doubleday, 2003]

Make Life Sparkle For Me

[Diary Notes]

Finally calm and quiet after running around,

cheap iPod now costs double as much after

returning the faulty one to the kind Pakistani

shaking his head; doing dishes & scrubbing

ice-boxes; I'm a bag lady with so many rags

& washing these took an age, deciding what

Things to pack for a visit to the Kruger Park where

it is cold at night, but warm during the day, requiring

clothing in layers to be shed as the day goes on and

we park at Sunset River to watch hippos- crocodiles-

baboons & various birds having fun while sitting in the

sun - takes lots of preparation: too cold and the trip is

Uncomfortable, too hot & the day becomes intolerable,

Nici now has the house to herself, but she is too easy-

going to have wild parties while we are gone, which is

good and bad - I wish she would enjoy herself - now

she’s ripping CD’s for my new iPod - so old-fashioned,

according to my son who refused to do it, he told me to

Listen through my cell-phone, but old-fashioned me who

had to progress from transistor radios and 25 mm home

movies to Walkman's & videos to CD's & DVD's and now

NetFlix and cell-phones that can do so many things, they

are more watch or camera or computer these days - still

need various gadgets for different activities - like my dad

Who had three radios, each on a different station for easy

listening: I can never fully enter the technological age, even

though Google is my best friend and Facebook’s virtual life

is wonderful since I live like a hermit due to allergies which

irritate my poor victims who have to survive my eccentricities

and restless tricks - luckily all my family members also have

Their own idiosyncracies - which make life sparkle for me!

Poignancy Of Her Beautiful Voice [Rev]

Amira singing Ave Maria, a sound so

enchanting, so fragile, so touching, a

masterful performance and a radiant

prayer of love sung with a pure voice

Shimmering with silken overtones &

full-toned harmonics - as she sings

there is a resonance with the music

of the spheres, the song of eternity

And I feel my heart fill with love for

everything: the world, people - the

magic of existence, the joy of being

and delicate beauty until I’m crying

In vibrational harmony with a feeling

of passionate well-being brought in-

to reality by Amira’s song-choice and

the poignancy of her beautiful voice

Darkening Pastel Clouds

Gold and green against an azure sky - golden

sun on yellowing leaves - glowing brown bricks

of the house next door - powdery white clouds

with tinted purple edges- a bottlebrush glowing

 

In emerald hues right in front of me - I can see

the individual leaves in detail, cycads like brave

sentinels keeping watch over the garden and I

dislike the idea of leaving the emerald canopy

 

Of my garden and surrounds on Sunday - the

neighbour’s Washingtonia against the sky as

it is shimmering all by itself & the golden hue

intensifies by a few degrees-the sun’s sinking

 

Lower against a backdrop of faint blue clouds

the garden darkens & the gilded treetops look

brighter than before with a radiantly blue sky

behind the darkening pastel clouds sailing by

 

Majestically: Come again - sweet day of wild

delight - oh come and stay…

The Best Energy Dance [Rev]

[Diary Notes]

Doing the laundry on a Monday morning is fun

when a warm sun is there shining in glory, but

when it is cold like today, and the wind trying to

freeze my flesh, it is suddenly a heavy chore &

definitely no fun anymore, I drink endless cups

of tea and wonder where supernatural entities

 

Have gone, I entertained them in the office so

guardian angels wouldn’t get bored & wander

off, my dad gave non-stop directions as I was

driving when he sat next to me, he was afraid

my guardian angels would take a break when

he was there, this morning I’m moving slowly

 

Amira is singing Plaisir d’Amour - yeah, that’s

not happening anytime soon, definitely not the

chagrin-bit - I have too much to do, when the

nostalgic and sad notes of Ennio Morricone’s

Your Love is sung I can only sigh, not today,

yesterday when Brad Pitt adorned the screen

 

It was a different thing, but then he was killed

in the shock of my life, whoever heard of him

dying in a movie, sacrilege, his most attractive

feature is that he never dies - just like James

Bond, I love any actor playing the role - he is

immortal as Bond living in his purpose-made

 

Customized universe where Q was briefed on

exactly what gadget Bond will need next and

yet I can’t complain, when I was unhappy at

work in apartheid South Africa the world was

changed, we voted in 1994 to make Mandela

our President and I got a host of new African

 

Colleagues who liked my noise and sang Nkosi

Sikelel iAfrika and Kumbaya with me, we even

tried Tula Baba, Dingaka Lullaby and I taught

them to sing Doris Brash’s ‘Die Lappop’ & they

taught me Miriam Makeba’s ‘Click Song’ - my

brother Peter Pan sourly remarked I claimed

 

The universe was changed for me and that is

too much for him to believe - but I’m happy -

who cares if it is just a fantasy, it worked and

my colleague Teresa took me on cultural trips

where a Sangoma chased evil spirits ululu-ing*

and a Zulu troupe danced the night away; with

 

These happy memories I do my own version of

a Zulu dance I remember & the day grows warm

& now hanging wet things on a line becomes the

best energy dance I’ve done in a very long time!

* Ululation

Ululation, from Latin ululo, is a long, wavering, high-pitched vocal sound resembling a howl with a trilling quality. It is produced by emitting a high pitched loud voice accompanied with a rapid back and forth movement of the tongue and the uvula.

The Tricks We Get Up To

 [Diary Notes]

Tiaan vaulted and summersaulted into the house,

complaining about Satin Touch toilet paper special

which burns like hell Satan Touch - when it touches

the skin - as he found out using a piece to wipe his

nose, he injured himself & had to treat his skin with

Vaseline and he illustrates in a way that marks him

 

An accomplished comedian, then he illustrates how

his victims are going to stumble in pain as he sends

the paper to them as a gift -and the house rings with

laughter as he runs about, I beg him: bring me some

to take to the Kruger Park as people always steal the

rolls left by management and I want to leave these as

 

A gift to those criminals using some on the floor - but

the CharLord explodes in righteous fury, no second-

hand junk in his life, thank you & it becomes a secret

project of mine as the expensive kitchen paper roll is

frequently used on the floor and to wipe greasy pots,

such a waste, I love having crocodile kids to help me

 

With secret complots without the CharBoss knowing

anything about the tricks we get up to!

Dad Was The Unconventional Hero

[Memoirs] 

Before I smashed my car I took my dad to see

the movie - A Room With A View with Helena

Bonham Carter in which O Mio Babbino Caro

is sung by Kiri Te Kanawa, I drove my dad all

the way from his small holding into the big city

and we went to the smart cinema theatre that

 

He liked so much, he was unusually quiet and

well-behaved and I felt proud of him in his suit

we watched a movie about Love where a very

unconventional hero wins the heroine - & I felt

my dad was the unconventional hero in mom’s

life and in mine - just like the hero George was

 

A free-thinking original in repressed & restricted

culture of Edwardian England - my dad was a

salty old sailor type in snobbish South African

culture of the 1980’s where curse words were

frowned upon, yet his heart was as big as the

universe, as my dad loved Dr Zhivago and My

 

Fair Lady and Gone With The Wind with those

elegant settings and clothes, he adored the story

& the beauty of the settings with his eyes shining

brightly and today I wish I had told him that it was

his story, but I only realized it with the aid of hind-

sight - that he fitted in perfectly, I saw him as

 

George Emerson, the free-spirited hero and mom

as the heroine Lucy, though mom never saw that

herself, she played the role of Queen Of Hearts -

Lewis Carrol, forcing my dad into the role of the

obedient King - years later I knew Dad was The

Phantom of the Opera all his life - living in the

 

Dungeons of mom’s fantasy life - seeing my dad

enjoying the movie I loved him and I knew my dad

was an important part of my life and when I fell ill

afterwards and my dad came to my aid all these

suspicions of his being a Knight that was given to

us as a Blessing was Justified