My ability to interact with the world is zero -
and any capacity to REACT to it’s also low
My faculty to be TOUCHED by this is almost
zero too - it used to be my life’s quest to give
meaning to life and find reason for existence
Now that I know truth is relative & subjective
AND I’m trying to honour an inner conviction
everyone treasures, I find it difficult to honour
MY OWN truth: How to decide which meaning
To appropriate for myself - am I too lazy to
exercise a FREEDOM that is mine to claim if
only I could be willing to break the self-same
rules which are governing my life?
Being a pensioner means an irrelevance in terms
of production - and, though humanitarian causes
abound, how does one set about running around
Serving - when a true philanthropist jumps into the
cannibal’s pot - and being on pension - to me, at
least - means being so isolated within Covid 19 –
it’s a suspension of the Reality we grew up in
Now I am left with a travesty of what we’d once
deemed logical and good: BUT - life can’t have
a value if it is just conditional on living as if we
were dead already! The real & only
worth-while
Goal of life is to figure out how to die with
dignity
as soon as possible: How to reach a
non-physical
life to take charge of consciousness -
Because living life within emptiness like this
is
not real at all - & thus can only described
as -
HELL ITSELF!
[Pretoria, South Africa - Monday 2 August 2021]
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