Stuck In Limbo (Revised)

An early office arrival, inbox empty, no-one to
defuse my early morning grumpiness, no texts
to target my grudge on life against, forced to direct
displeasure at inane 7:25 am animation in myself,
nursing a headache, feeling useless

Still in a state of shock replaying my daughter’s
flagrant driving this weekend in my head, lost on
how to solve existential conundrums or fete time
meaningfully when life seems so pointless in being
devoid of boring mountains of words

Filling emptiness with fury and anger, focussing my
mind on other people’s problems stated in dead-
end sentences – preferable to living a non-life in
office necromancy, twiddling my thumbs until
desultory but distracting documents arrive

Reality does not exert pressure on me, create a
need to escape, I am stuck in limbo, no idea how to
solve this strange challenge – existence without
challenge or pressure seems utter waste, I must
create my own reality, but where shall I begin?


[ORIGINAL]

Walking into the office, no documents in my inbox,
no-one to direct my early morning grumpiness at,
no texts to absorb my grudge against life, forced
to direct my displeasure at being alive at seven
twenty five at myself, nursing a headache feeling
useless, still in a state of shock when replaying my
daughter’s driving this weekend in my head, at a
loss to solve existential conundrums how to pass
the time in a meaningful way when life seems so
pointless without mountains of boring words to fill
the emptiness with fury and anger, focus my mind
on other people’s problems stated in dead-end
sentences – which is preferable to living a dead-
end life in the office, twiddling my thumbs until
documents arrive – since reality does not exert
pressure on me creating a need to escape from
irritating demands, I am stuck in limbo, no idea
how to solve this strange challenge – existence
without pressure seems utterly useless, I must
create my own reality and where should I begin?

Wilting Spirit Whispering (Revised)

I heed a spirit’s whisper wilting on
the wind, don’t fell my tree; in dark
of seated silence words fall as pebbles
noisomely – disturbing inner calm,
angering pointlessly

All are baulked with bated breath –
it feels as if the end is coming near
and blindly stifles life, I can’t create
a thing, your reading messages from
worldliness alive now interferes:

So aliens drive Africa in Volkswagen
Beetles, ancient Landrovers, make
a mess of cold emptiness, creating
static within the fearsome silence
already within, spurring turmoil

Scared – scared of tomorrow,
scared of increasing darkness
of great loneliness
scared of being me –
of no chance of escape…


[ORIGINAL:]

I feel like a wilting spirit whispering
on the wind, don’t chop down my tree,
sitting in the darkness of silence, words
falling like pebbles, disturbing the quiet
in my mind and making me angry

Everybody living with bated breath - it
feels as if the world is coming to an end,
life is stifled, I cannot create anything,
your reading out messages from the
world of the living: foreigners

crossing Africa in Volkswagen Beetles
and ancient Landrovers – makes a mess
of the cold emptiness in my head, creating
even more static in the fearsome silence it
already contains, living in turmoil

Scared – scared of tomorrow, scared of the
increasing darkness and great loneliness
scared of being me, no chance of escape…

Shudder in my Sleep

The perfect recipe for being a passenger in a car
driven by an eighteen year old girl: Reading a
book, allowing her to choose her route, staying
calm and suggesting the nearest off-ramp when
entering the highway by mistake

Reminding her dad would have stopped at every
robot in orange and all four-way stops; making
a pact: we shall both drive sedately from now
on, accepting that my driving caused the kids
deep fear since they were small

Shaking hands, we shall BOTH imitate dad,
pointing out she can’t assume a slow moving
car will keep moving and she can bear down
on it at full speed- focusing on a book in my
lap, not seeing what my little driver does

I remain calm, tomorrow we shall tackle the
steep incline; one hellish challenge - forgive
me the goosebumps - and if I shudder in my
sleep – when does a young driver learn to
slow down confronting an obstacle? Oh!

Save Me Instead

Rima never watches scary movies while I never read
sad books; trusting Jean Ure to be a good author for
children, I read her book, expecting the abused kids
to escape nasty parents – it did not happen; leaving
me with a gaping hole in my heart

The whole world bathed in a sad grey light, yet it was
necessary to feel this sadness tonight, felt melancholic
and useless all day: my eighteen year old kid getting
angry at me and nearly crashing, not stopping at stop
streets and barging in front of people

Not listening to me, stalling the car on a steep incline,
stalling on the road because changing gears down is
too much effort for the lofty ‘Madame’, I am a failure
as driving instructor, a failure at work, no documents
received for processing, no idiots writing

To the President, they might have made me angry, but
it would have meant being useful- I’m only an oxygen
thief trying to learn about quantum physics instead of
trying to meet demanding requirements, this is most
unsettling, my mind is unhinged, I’m lost

I have nothing to rant and rave about, just the cold
knowledge that I have nothing to dream about after
reading the world is well-ordered and does not need
saving, if I cannot save it, the world must save me
instead, give me a goal to accomplish…

Life is Lovely

I’m doing my best to realise your ideal – I mean
being true to being unhappy, but I am surrounded
by dysfunctional people - who enjoy being happy
Rima is laughter personified, Christine thinks life
is lovely, just for her to be amused and surprised

Hanlie insists on making the world beautiful with her
wonderful being, June is delighted with her house in
Gordon’s Bay, Martin is satisfied with the ideals he
sees being realised by two amazing kids following
his advice, my daughter shines in movie treats

My son dreaming big; at the office everyone breaks
out in smiles, I am really trying to get in touch with
my inner pain but it eludes me at present, though
I shall not give up in trying to reach the depths
of despair you prescribe, in deference to your

Amazing ability to find unhappiness behind every
happy façade, I am so glad you kindly informed
me how unhappy everyone has been and how
deeply mortified everyone should be once they
realize the pain in their hearts – yet right now

I am going with the flow of dysfunctional people
all being so happy they don’t even know how
terribly unhappy YOU know them to be, just
know I am working on it…

Lack Of Haute Couture

Beware Sam Vimes; annoyed by a fantailer hat,
jodhpurs and a nervous smile; Sam took on the
legendary Jane Austen, author of world renowned
Pride and Prejudice, to reform her into a modern
writer, criticized the flimsy attire of her five girls

Sending them to Florence Nightingale nursing, open
a Milliner’s shop to put an end to their small talk, marry
Mr Collins the curate shunned by a fastidious Elizabeth
and deleting Mr Darcy; I must agree, Captain Carrot
lords it over all other hero’s in likeability, magical

powers and nobility to withstand pressure to become
king, though he knows his ancestry, being a superhero;
the intrepid commander sees nervous smiles as dead
giveaway of disagreeable intent and jodhpurs means
burgled silverware seen in trousers outlined in teapots

This offensive ensemble is described with inimitable
Pratchettian aplomb: ‘a presumably self-inflicted triple
misfortune’ - oh yes, I have also been caught wearing
self-inflicted triple - even quadruple - misfortunes of all
kinds, suffering from lack of haute couture

And I mean to go on suffering this way, it is much
more fun than being elegant all the time!


Snuff – Terry Pratchett, Doubleday 2011
pp. 243, 244

DNA Stargate

I give in, in light of the evidence, I have to
admit telepathy to be real, biological Inter-
net communication seems natural among
everybody – just allow me to add that

Real knowledge do not seem to transfer
through the instinctual system, I am only
aware of emotions and feelings, state of
mind - information remains obscure

I am hooked on feeling and atmosphere,
love my job not because of what we do,
translating such boring texts, but for the
magical atmosphere created by

My lovable and loving colleagues, to work
for Pollyanna who puts a positive spin on
everything, have a Mme La Pompadour
for excitement and a caring Wendy

Now let me introduce the information found
on the Internet - my DNA does not receive
data automatically by supernatural CD as
some zealous psychics claim…


Russian biophysicist and molecular biologist
Pjotr Garjajev’s cutting-edge research on our
esoteric DNA to determine a purpose for the
90% of it which seems superfluous

Vernetzte Intelligenz, Grazyna Fosar & Franz
Bludorf - Baerbel-translated - explains remote
healing, intuition, affirmation techniques, clair-
voyance, unusual auras around gurus

and mind’s influence on weather patterns; are
caused by DNA patterns in vacuum producing
wormholes magnetized, miniature equivalents
of bridges near star burn-out known as

black holes; forming tunnels which transmit
information outside time and space as DNA
attracts and sends information bits to human
consciousness - hyper-communication -

Inter-dimensional information downloaded via a
DNA stargate - psychics exchange complex
ideas through invisible DNA networks which
cover large distances - thus this explains

Telepathy, sensing the state of far-off relatives,
how animals know at what time owners plan to
come home - the phenomena are interpreted as
hyper communication & group consciousness

Illustrated by phantom DNA effect; when Vladimir
Poponin beamed laser through a tube with DNA
which was then removed, laser light continued
spiraling as within a crystal beam - energy

from outside time and space flows through the
activated wormholes, seen in electromagnetic
fields around psychics which make CD players
cease until the dissipation of the field


http://www.nrgnair.com/MPT/zdi_tech/DNA.research.htm
Russian DNA Research
http://www.psychicchildren.co.uk/4-3-RussianDNAResearch.html