Feverish Chills

The feverish chills of last night manifest
in failing energy - the Duchess’ tale of
woe clouds my perspective – the image
of a little girl sitting alone without hope
is so strong when I think of my brave, if
overbearing, Duchess, how big a scare

She would have had when no payments
were made by any of her creditors and
the contribution for my father & mother,
Conan and his Queen of Hearts, never
came through, how terrible the feeling
of desolation must have been as she

Looked at the empty purse for domestic
expense – crying now would empty my
heart and enable me to be joyous – at
present I’m falling again, a descent in-
to the dark past of loveless martyrdom
such as Grandma Alice has known

Is suffocating and my throat is swelling
no breathing while my eyes’ re watering
the dry air, I have to acknowledge pain
to let it out & bring back interest in my
little world, to lift up my eyes to my old
and trusted icons, open my ears and

Rejoice in a magnetic world that will
bring us the delight we visualise – far
away from the inner darkness that
makes me cry…