[Dairy Note]
Having a hot-air balloon inflating in my left ear, taking
medication, antibiotics and cortisone started off well,
then my ear began inflating again, brilliant infection
doing its thing and winning, the death of good cells &
negating of the immune system - all sacrifices to kill
The infection reigning my life not being so effective,
somehow self-pity and self-recrimination are growing
stronger - while the brilliant Internet-guru insists that
just concentrating on feeling well again will allow the
infection to disappear, but the only disappearing trick
I experience is the Internet voice growing weak in my
deaf left ear and a confounding disappearance of my
remaining fount of happiness….
All I can remember in my weakened state is everything
I ever did wrong and I lost the ability to delight in music
and song, the swimming pool now is a death trap waiting
to ensnare my infected ear with more bacteria - and my
favourite author’s story about the Abominable Snowmen
Sounds like a moral lesson that would make both Lewis
Carrol and Alice run away, my cynical novel using fairy-
tales to explain the protagonist’s pain simply changed
me into a psychopath - I only feel irritation at her mis-
using the beloved tales to illustrate life’s failures
Only the description of experiencing every decision we
make as wrong, applies to my existential crisis, the
constant irritation of noise driving me insane, luckily
the Internet guru also says that if we fail to become
happy in this life, when we die we shall be happy as
Consciousness then releases the excitement & beauty
of its eternal existence and rejoices in its temporary
appearances in physical manifestation every now &
then - dear Internet-guru, thank you for this, I can’t
wait to re-emerge into non-physical - coupled with
The great theory that we shall only meet things that
vibrate and resonate with our own goals & dreams
in the life after this - where I might meet the fairytale
characters I love so much!
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