Cold, Still, Frozen, Blue

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This is where I am – cold, still, frozen, blue
the second picture is where I want to be, I
cannot steer my mind into that colourful
beauty until I have gone through the
whole gamut of symptoms, a quiet
and boring process, losing time,
falling behind at the office…
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http://www.frankiejohnsonartstudio.com/images/
landscapes/
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A Glass Enclosure

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Fell into temptation this weekend, dreaming of
creamy pea soup, such as grandma Alice always
gave me when I went to visit her, bought instant
soup for my son knowing how much I wanted it
for myself, on Saturday night I gave in, had a cup

It was more than delicious, it fed my soul also, I
smelled grandma Alice and felt her in my heart
Sunday evening I desired the creamy sensation
even more passionately and had it again, the
monosodium glutamate poison to my system

Saturday night’s insomnia turned into Sunday
night’s vigil and painkillers by the handful, today
I am a landscape in ice, dead to the world, worse
is I am dead to myself and my loved ones, as from
today I shall start with detoxification, but Oh

The discomfort is awful, my feelings bound in a glass
enclosure, fevers swelling my head, I seek no redress
only symptomatic relief of pain as no costly solution
has ever worked, only pain-pills help me through…

**************************************************

I hope that superior lady who looks down on us inferior
allergy sufferers and declared we are easy prey for
charlatans, reads this and realises that we do not
confess to quacks or follow their hare-brained advice

Nor do we seek attention, when in pain the only thing
left is to keep one’s head down, keep a low profile until
we can lift our heads again, false sympathy magnanimously
bestowed is anathema to us, I only confess my sin on paper

Post anonymously so as not to pull down the wrath of my
loved ones, I eat my illegal spoils in silence and pay the
price, doing penance for my sins, in silence also…


************************************************
Original illustration by Christian Birmingham for Hans
Christian Andersen's 'The Snow Queen' published by Walker
Books, 2007 Pastel chalk on paper

http://www.booksillustrated.com/UserFiles/Image/Genre/
The%20Snow%20Queen/CB0002e.jpg
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Freezing My Feelings

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Found the most beautiful illustrations for the
Snow Queen, every time I go overboard and
eat foods my system cannot digest, the Snow
Queen moves into my heart and turns it to ice

The red-hot pain of motivation disappears and I
become a frozen corpse, this weekend I read
someone said people with allergies are looking
for attention, I was surprised, the opposite is true

Allergy turns me into a dead, unfeeling, cold person
my whole being becomes the property of the Snow
Queen who delights in freezing my feelings and
leaves me with nothing, only the boredom of

Endless snowflakes…


Hans Christian Andersen’s classic tale ‘The Snow Queen’
retold by Naomi Lewis and breathtakingly illustrated by
Christian Birmingham

http://www.booksillustrated.com/UserFiles/Image/Genre/
The%20Snow%20Queen/CB0033e.jpg
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Imagination Alive

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No stringing beads tonight, watching fantasy
films with the kids, Tiaan still repeats his joke
about people like me needing pills for trying
to string transparent beads on invisible line

The exhibits in a museum coming alive, to know
that people still think like that, imagination alive
and well, the producers of these epistles are my
favourite people, the actors my favourite stars

When I was small I used to fear the fount of new
stories and melodies would run dry some time, when
I read official documents it seems a prophecy fulfilled
but watching popular culture grow and unfold

Seeing new, exciting ideas, brilliant new dances; the
reworking of old themes and creation of new universes
containing new forms of life, finding ideas of quantum
computers, time as a place, not a line

Today I jubilantly rejoice to know that there is infinite
scope in everything and we shall keep on growing, as
scientists go further into the past and look deeper into
the starry skies, lengthening the time span

Mankind has been on earth, I know innovation will be
eternal, what is before us is always more than what
we have left behind, there is a time for everything
as Ecclesiastes claimed; amen, I’m with you man!
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Imitation Cobwebs

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I’m making innumerable cobweb strings with
dewdrops on them, found fishing line as thin
as can be, but stiff and so easy to string through
small crystal beads

Adding fake snowflakes and a crystal flower and
my cobwebs go around my neck, Nici looks down
her nose at my transparent dewdrops and gave me
a book about the fine art of beading

I can see translucent crystals are not fashionable,
yet I am entranced - I am still shocked after peeking
at my new translation assignment, in the first letter a
woman bad-mouths the Cricket World Cup

The second letter refers to parents assaulting their
minor kids, I have no endurance for such sad, painful
things, making imitation cobwebs with dewdrops
suspended in time forever being the only way

To calm my spirit, I need time to assimilate the des-
perate, fearsome tales spun by these authors who
were so good to share their delightful information
and opinions with the President

What he should do about it no-one knows - though
personally I recommend euthanasia
for all of them…
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Never met your Needs

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I am watching ‘Sister Act’ tonight, ever since you
told me it helped you to get through a difficult time
I have planned on watching it, tonight I went ahead
rented the DVD trying to find the solace that kept you
going while you lived without hope

How you kept going I never understood, tonight I caught
a glimpse of the fire that kept you alive when everyone –
especially I – left you to fend for yourself, I was looking at
facts while you were living LOVE - I am guilty - I did not
understand that you needed to tell lies

In order to support someone you loved more than yourself
you were always there when anyone needed you, when I
expressed a wish you complied - and I thought cold facts
were more important than that - I was wrong, YOU and
the lesson from Sister Act brought the message home

NOW I understand how you managed to survive the pain
of dreams all squashed – in one thing I was right: NEVER
offer people too much because then they will take you for
granted without ever meeting YOUR needs – I took you
for granted myself, never met YOUR NEEDS…


Movie: Sister Act – Whoopi Goldberg
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All Comes Alive

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It is amazing, I don’t know why
buying something useless with
aesthetic value only, just a small
trinket, is so comforting

Makes me feel alive, gives me a
sense that life has value, that beauty
will always survive: bought imitation
orchids during lunch hour

Lifting the feeling of sadness incurred
by repetitive tasks, a cobweb string at
my side, shiny with crystal bead dew-
drops, a seashell with droplets also

With the orchids and colourful birds
there is very little austerity around my
computer, fairies could easily make a
home for themselves – this is a

Veritable forest of magic, at night it
all comes alive…
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