Just Punishment

At least I have made myself into the
most unlovable person who has ever
been, some consolation indeed; I am
a scoundrel at work, taking up space
and oxygen, at home I’m too pre-
occupied to get anyone’s attention

Only when I became resigned that my
daughter would smash her car could I
relax while she charged all obstacles,
refusing to change gears even when
the car stalled; I cried in despair as
my son bicycled home in the dark

The only consolation I got was that he
promised not to do it again - I give up
tried in vain to attain spiritual growth;
I am the worst person I know - the
sooner I give up wrong ideals and
attempt being the worst delinquent

The world has ever seen, the sooner I
would be happy again, emitting such
a low vibration, it will take a million
lifetimes to take me to a higher
plane; every friend I have
dreamt of, every ideal

Destroyed by MYSELF spiritualists say,
claiming we create our own reality, my
feelings inform me I have created the
worst nightmare - losing family and
friends – according to twin sis, my
dad feels the same about life

I wish I could share my pain with him
but he is out of bounds; just my luck
that us two scoundrels may not meet
again, such just punishment…