I loved my kids with a different lovewhen they were small, a love that
was allowed to cuddle and cosset,
hold them close, rock them to sleep,
rub a small back, sing lullabies, and
I miss those times, that perfect love
Love for older children is different,
their size and independence makes
for a new relationship, the soft warmth
of their childish years are gone and
I shall never be a perfect mom to an
older kid, I need someone
With shining eyes to sing along with
me, to take my hand trustingly, how
shall I make a place for myself in a
shrinking world that leaves little space
for loving little ones, for holding close
kissing little mouths good-night?
This is what mothering boils down to –
always moving further apart and far away,
it’s only cherished memories that stay…
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