Sunday, April 1, 2012

Diary Notes 1 April 2012

Today I am determined to flee all causes of depression,
the weather is one of them, reading the newspaper an
unqualified disaster, the books I read yesterday led to
a feeling of nihilism, watching TV is dangerous, the
program “Hoarders” where people collect trash until
they drown in houses like garbage dumps made me
feel I have to get rid of all my papers and books, that
life is useless - at least I tidied my cupboard, put old
clothes in a bag for collection by those who knock on
the door insisting they will take anything; threw away
old magazines…

Last night I finished reading “Feet of Clay” in which the
religious groups of the Discworld called the Golems
abominable, just like those on the Internet who call the
Bible Code evil – I respect the right of people to wear
blinkers and call everything evil which they cannot stand
in their self-righteous indignation, as long as I never meet
them; so much wilful acceptance of mental handcuffs is
unsettling, and their self-declared intention to take every
free-thinking human being hostage gives rise to a feeling
of such hostility which I do not wish to experience and
will not allow in my little life

So today I am trying to steer clear of all unsettling ideas,
washed dishes and turned all my aggression on ants
proliferating in cupboards, put all the cookies in glass
containers with plastics lids; today I am a useful member
of society, but upon finishing this the threat of what to do
next looms again, I could start on the files in the kitchen
cupboards but that could lead to an attack of anxiety so
rather try watching episodes of Hauntings which Nici
faithfully recorded; though when the haunted victims
start saying ‘and then I grew scared’ and go on repeating
the theme, ‘that’s when I REALLY grew scared‘

I need all my self-control not to shout Obviously! - when
doors open and close and children are bumped out of bed
and something tries to strangle your husband – obviously
you got scared, if you did not, you would be in need of a
straightjacket, or do you think the viewer is flabbergasted
by an ‘unknown alien’ reaction of being scared of invisible
forces messing up your house and threatening your life?
How idiotic to state the obvious over and over – ad infinitum…

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