A Hopeless Project

Improvement indeed, staying away

from flame-throwing sugar - eating

salty cornmeal products instead -

turning chemical depression into

an ice-cold anger that makes me

hate myself and all existence

Escaping the interminable rise and

fall of voices by listening to music

full-volume on my ear-phones –

keeping irritation of meaning to a

minimum, facing an endless day of

inner turmoil caused by a system

So wayward it never stays on keel

for more than a few minutes at a

time, a frozen statue in front of a

computer screen, not allowing fury

at being a simpleton to boil over as

that is useless waste of energy

Knowing spiritualists would indict me

for lack of responsibility but in my de-

fence the headache came first and

nothing I did changed one iota of

anything, better to embrace  this

feeling than trying to grow holy

A hopeless project to begin with